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ypslanti, Michigan
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TFS Journal
ex wife problems venting
April 02, 2014 @ 03:57:42 pm
urgggg so sick of it

so my fiance has a ex wife and has 3 kids with her 3 beatiful girls that i love dearly..<3 well we took them in on xmas because she was having issues with her husband, (he got into drugs bad) was having the kids lie and s*** and she didnt want the girls to be in that stuff. so we took them in no question ask. but she was supposed to help us with child support well just give us the child support where still paying her now that we have the girls.. that was the deal.. but she hasnt been at all.. and we keep asking for the card and she keeps making excuse why she cant send it. and she sent us 600 since they got here they have been here 5 months when my fiance pays 700 a month in child support,
right now hes working alot and still cant afford to pay the bills cause she takes half are freaking check,,, and im working but its commision so its not much... where slowy going down hill


well we asked her yesterday and last week for help because we were gonna lose the house. if we didnt get help we said could u help us out we only need 150. and she said i have my own bills to pay..

i was like really we have 3 girls and us and we are paying u child support but you dont have enough to help us out when u just went tanning and shopping for shoes and nails.
when were having a hard time buying stuff for the girls. and providing for them...... ahhh so my fiance wrote her. we have bills to pay to we dont have the money because of child support is getting taken out but its all good we will firgure it out.. ill let you know what happens if we lose the house or not and she never wrote back.....

and she says shes sending us the card but this is 6 day later and still no card in the mail.... im so getting fed up with her
she is partying and having lots of guys over and dont even carew about her kids anymore

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Dark_Tink

<3 Boobie <3

New Post! April 02, 2014 @ 04:01:47 pm
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Has he gone back to court to get the support payment reversed? Or to at least have his stopped from coming out of his pay(if that is how it is being done)?

Sadly, if not, nothing is going to change. It's terrible that your financial situation has come to this.


yami

New Post! April 02, 2014 @ 05:13:27 pm
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Well she is not much of a mother is she?
So sad that you and your ex are getting shafted this way.
In years to come she will be the loser as her kids will not want to know her.


DorkySupergirl

New Post! April 02, 2014 @ 06:34:38 pm
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If I am understanding correctly, your fiancé has custody of the three children and his ex is not paying support. If this is the case, he needs to haul her behind to court. I do not have children but 600$ a month in support does not seem like very much for three children.

If she has money to tan and get her nails done, she has money to pay support for her kids.

Women do not get a pass at not paying support.


Dark_Tink

<3 Boobie <3

New Post! April 02, 2014 @ 06:39:53 pm
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@DorkySupergirl Said

If I am understanding correctly, your fiancé has custody of the three children and his ex is not paying support. If this is the case, he needs to haul her behind to court. I do not have children but 600$ a month in support does not seem like very much for three children.

If she has money to tan and get her nails done, she has money to pay support for her kids.

Women do not get a pass at not paying support.



Six hundred isn't a lot, but it's waaaaaaaaaay more then so many others get. Sadly, some are able to get away with paying the minimum amount.

I was only going to get $100 a month, but that never happened, because, for some reason, a fully capable adult male, was able to stay on welfare.


Drgnfly83

New Post! April 02, 2014 @ 06:44:10 pm
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@DorkySupergirl Said

If I am understanding correctly, your fiancé has custody of the three children and his ex is not paying support. If this is the case, he needs to haul her behind to court. I do not have children but 600$ a month in support does not seem like very much for three children.

If she has money to tan and get her nails done, she has money to pay support for her kids.

Women do not get a pass at not paying support.



She is also saying that he pays her 600 dollars, because she originally had the 3 girls. Once he took over custody, she continued to get his money for "child support" in which she no longer had custody of the girls nor see's the girls, and yet, is still getting that money.


DorkySupergirl

New Post! April 02, 2014 @ 06:48:33 pm
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@Dark_Tink Said

Six hundred isn't a lot, but it's waaaaaaaaaay more then so many others get. Sadly, some are able to get away with paying the minimum amount.

I was only going to get $100 a month, but that never happened, because, for some reason, a fully capable adult male, was able to stay on welfare.



its disgusting how some women think because they are women they do not have to pay it and how some men refuse to work or hide assets and money to get out of paying it.

I do think there needs to be a cap on child support. Its based on income but I do not find it right someone with money is paying an amount like 20,000$ a month in child support like many actors and athletes are forced to do. In those cases, its more money than the cost to are for the child and it ends up I the pocket of the mother which is not what child support is. Its not meant to get rich but take care of a child.


DorkySupergirl

New Post! April 02, 2014 @ 06:51:49 pm
1
@Drgnfly83 Said

She is also saying that he pays her 600 dollars, because she originally had the 3 girls. Once he took over custody, she continued to get his money for "child support" in which she no longer had custody of the girls nor see's the girls, and yet, is still getting that money.



I do not mean to be rude but he seems to not be handling his business. All he has to do is go to court and have the support stopped and an order making her pay.

I feel bad its left them in financial problems but if you do not go to court for these things, how much can you complain they are still taking your money. They only know not to take your money when you update the custody and you only get money from the other party after an order of support.

Its pretty simple to fix and could have been done right away, preventing this mess.


someone_else_again

Really. Not a dude.

New Post! April 02, 2014 @ 07:03:30 pm
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@DorkySupergirl Said

its disgusting how some women think because they are women they do not have to pay it and how some men refuse to work or hide assets and money to get out of paying it.

I do think there needs to be a cap on child support. Its based on income but I do not find it right someone with money is paying an amount like 20,000$ a month in child support like many actors and athletes are forced to do. In those cases, its more money than the cost to are for the child and it ends up I the pocket of the mother which is not what child support is. Its not meant to get rich but take care of a child.



I believe there is a cap of 50% of your monthly income for garnishment of wages. It might vary by state. In my state, there's a weird formula for calculating child support because it has to factor in how much your monthly income is, how much it takes to support the family you do have living with you and a few other things. They won't take into account "voluntary debt" - which has kind of a BS definition IMO.

OP, you might want to find out if your fiance can contact the division of child support and have a hearing to have his payment amount reduced or stopped since he has custody of the children.


DorkySupergirl

New Post! April 02, 2014 @ 07:10:06 pm
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@someone_else_again Said

I believe there is a cap of 50% of your monthly income for garnishment of wages. It might vary by state. In my state, there's a weird formula for calculating child support because it has to factor in how much your monthly income is, how much it takes to support the family you do have living with you and a few other things. They won't take into account "voluntary debt" - which has kind of a BS definition IMO.

OP, you might want to find out if your fiance can contact the division of child support and have a hearing to have his payment amount reduced or stopped since he has custody of the children.



Sorry, I meant a cap as in money value as opposed to a percentage of your monthly earnings. If someone makes 200,000$ a month, 50% of that is 100,000$ a month and that is too much to pay for support. A child does not need 100,000$ a month. The child support athletes and actors have to pay is insane and it really goes get spent on the mother of the child and not the child which is not what child support is suppose to be. They are able to say what it costs to raise a child per year, on average, and child support should never be more than that amount.


someone_else_again

Really. Not a dude.

New Post! April 02, 2014 @ 07:16:59 pm
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@DorkySupergirl Said

Sorry, I meant a cap as in money value as opposed to a percentage of your monthly earnings. If someone makes 200,000$ a month, 50% of that is 100,000$ a month and that is too much to pay for support. A child does not need 100,000$ a month. The child support athletes and actors have to pay is insane and it really goes get spent on the mother of the child and not the child which is not what child support is suppose to be. They are able to say what it costs to raise a child per year, on average, and child support should never be more than that amount.



Oh sorry. As far as my support was concerned, that cap exists also. There is a monthly amount per child and it's on a scale based on the child's age. For a teen, it's something in the neighborhood of $700. We were paying $445 per month and I think that was based on our income.

In the case of celebrities, I would think it's usually part of a divorce settlement and is done similar to alimony. I'm not sure about children born out of wedlock though...


DorkySupergirl

New Post! April 02, 2014 @ 07:38:20 pm
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@someone_else_again Said

Oh sorry. As far as my support was concerned, that cap exists also. There is a monthly amount per child and it's on a scale based on the child's age. For a teen, it's something in the neighborhood of $700. We were paying $445 per month and I think that was based on our income.

In the case of celebrities, I would think it's usually part of a divorce settlement and is done similar to alimony. I'm not sure about children born out of wedlock though...



I think I am doing a bad job of explaining things today, I can't seem to get what I want to say to come out right. When you are a regular person making a regular pay, there is a chart that says if you make this, you pay this and this usually depends on some other factors as well.

When you are rich, the chart does not go as high as your wealth so if say the cap is 1,000% a month for a teenager, this does not apply to you if you are rich. When you are rich, the judge and law in most places goes beyond what takes care of a child to the child must keep a certain lifestyle.

So for us regular folks its about making sure the child is fed and has clothes on its back and a roof over its head, when you are rich, the courts make you pay so that the clothes your child is wearing is designer clothes, the roof over your child's head is a penthouse suite or a mansion. I highly disagree with this. I think the chart is enough no matter how rich daddy is.

Its up to parent to ensure their child has food, the law should not be that your child is eating lobster and caviar in the penthouse just because you made good money playing a sport.

Its not being a dead beat father if your kids has a normal life. My understanding is the rules for rich people apply no matter if they were married or it was an out of wedlock child. Alimony is in addition to child support so many women get the 20,000$ a month for one kid and then 100,000$ in their alimony. So a total of 120,000$ a month for a mother and kid. I think its insane.


someone_else_again

Really. Not a dude.

New Post! April 02, 2014 @ 08:32:12 pm
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@DorkySupergirl Said

I think I am doing a bad job of explaining things today, I can't seem to get what I want to say to come out right. When you are a regular person making a regular pay, there is a chart that says if you make this, you pay this and this usually depends on some other factors as well.

When you are rich, the chart does not go as high as your wealth so if say the cap is 1,000% a month for a teenager, this does not apply to you if you are rich. When you are rich, the judge and law in most places goes beyond what takes care of a child to the child must keep a certain lifestyle.

So for us regular folks its about making sure the child is fed and has clothes on its back and a roof over its head, when you are rich, the courts make you pay so that the clothes your child is wearing is designer clothes, the roof over your child's head is a penthouse suite or a mansion. I highly disagree with this. I think the chart is enough no matter how rich daddy is.

Its up to parent to ensure their child has food, the law should not be that your child is eating lobster and caviar in the penthouse just because you made good money playing a sport.

Its not being a dead beat father if your kids has a normal life. My understanding is the rules for rich people apply no matter if they were married or it was an out of wedlock child. Alimony is in addition to child support so many women get the 20,000$ a month for one kid and then 100,000$ in their alimony. So a total of 120,000$ a month for a mother and kid. I think its insane.



I understand what you're saying. What I meant was, I don't think that the court would normally enforce that exorbitant amount but the two involved parties probably reach some sort of legal agreement. It is not put forth by the state.


DorkySupergirl

New Post! April 02, 2014 @ 08:56:08 pm
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@someone_else_again Said

I understand what you're saying. What I meant was, I don't think that the court would normally enforce that exorbitant amount but the two involved parties probably reach some sort of legal agreement. It is not put forth by the state.



Okay, thanks, I did not feel as though I was doing a good job of explaining myself. Alimony is determined by a prenuptial agreement, if they have one, if not, its determined by the judge and is based on the man's salary and a few other factors. You cannot, to my knowledge, sign an agreement for child support like you do a prenuptial agreement. Child support is determined by the judge who uses the chart, the chart is determined by the state and that is what the judge uses. When you are rich, the judge is the one who imposes the exorbitant child support because the law requires a child of the rich parent that they have to keep a certain lifestyle where as our children its to ensure they have basics but a rich child is to ensure they keep the penthouse and designer clothing.


DuLu

CHOOSE HAPPINESS!!!

New Post! April 03, 2014 @ 04:37:43 am
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Whoever has official/legal custody of the children is who will
get any financial/medical/housing support.

The government moves slow, and in the case of custody and support, things can and often do change on a weekly & monthly basis, two-fold:
a) based on the custodial parent's willingness and ability to 'meet' all the requirements for continued support, and
b) based on the custodial parent's willingness and ability to work, or look for work --- offset by the consideration of daycare availability and amount to be made versus amount received monthly (support wise).

Just when someone/anyone confronts DSHS/courts with information which would warrant a change, something changes-new information is provided.

There are still a lot of 'holes' in the support system. Many times, people are receiving support for rent and food, and they end up living with someone else; paying lil/no rent, and buying lil/no food.

Situations may vary, but then it is often left to the kindness/pocket of others to keep the lil ones fed/clothed/bathed/sheltered. Similar to what the OP is describing, at great expense and heartbreak to themselves. As if there is a 'target' sign on their backs, is what it often feels like. Maybe, poster and fiance must frequently be asking themselves, 'how did it get to this, they asked/needed help from us and we acquiesced ==== but she/he/they don't budge when we explain our dire straits to them?" Something major is wrong here.

If this is what one gets for being a nice guy or nice gal, I think more would be inclined to take a leaf out of the book Reads-A-Lot recently posted about.

Sure, there is a risk, you may 'lose' them.
But you may also be risking 'losing yourself - your physical/mental health ---- cripes, even your house may be on the line! How R U
gonna help anyone down the line, if you end up homeless yourself?

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