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On September 14, 2014 Kristy69


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Carly's Mommy



Underneath the Cyanide Sun....
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Kristy. My perception on the world and the people in it.
Enter the wonders (and nightmares) of my mind.
I feel like the worst piece of s***..
June 06, 2012 @ 10:49:20 pm
and the biggest idiot on the face of the Earth. I'm 19 and just came to realize I f***ed up my entire life and now someone else's. I wish I could go back so bad and change things, but at the same time I don't because of my daughter. After nearly 3 years, the only good thing that came out of this was my daughter. The rest is f***ing bulls*** and it screwed up my life. But even then I feel like I just set her up for a bulls*** life.

I really do hate myself now.
I hate how insecure I am, I hate how scared I am, I hate that I still have feelings for someone who treats me like dirt.
WTF man, I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

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boobagins

SPICY HOT TAMALES

New Post! June 06, 2012 @ 11:02:47 pm
1
Chin up. Positive attitude. Your life is what you make of it. See it full of possibilities. You were meant to have her and she you. Make it count, make it the best.


Electric_Banana

New Post! June 06, 2012 @ 11:03:17 pm
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Daughter?

She's sure to inherit your looks.

The kid will be a total knock out
and both men and women alike will be running out of
the woodwork to want to participate in her life and help
her along the way.

Don't feel bad at all, I'm pretty sure that she'll make it
through life comfortably even if not always easily.


Leon

New Post! June 07, 2012 @ 04:38:44 am
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s*** happens and life is messy. Yet you can still make your life want you want it to be, just as long as you put in the dedication, effort, and discipline into it that is needed. It is this end result that is important, not the setbacks. So don't let the latter ever affect you, as nobody ever has a smooth path anyways.


Leon

New Post! June 07, 2012 @ 04:45:18 am
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Listen to the award winning album Daydream Nation by Sonic Youth.

You will find it very noisy and messy on the surface, but yet somehow beauty still emerges in tune from it, right?

Same thing.


treebee

Government Hooker

Moderator
New Post! June 07, 2012 @ 09:32:54 am
1
Time is on your side, not only is that an awesome rolling stones track it happens to be true. People turn their lives around at my age.

We do the best we can with what we have, we think we are doing the right thing and then sometimes you look back and think "I could/ should have done that differently" but without f*** up's we would learn nothing and would be obnoxious f***ers who are always right about everything.

To err is human. Accept that you will f*** up from time to time, and move on from it. Forward is the only way to go.


chisa96

Supreme Goddess

New Post! June 07, 2012 @ 05:38:07 pm
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It's going to be hard for a while; you did make a mistake. Life in itself is hard though, and as mistakes go this one has a pretty easy silver lining to find.

You just gotta go with it. Life is always going to be both good and bad, easy and hard, full of mistakes and successes.

(How do you like these pseudo-insights? Lol. Not really at all helpful, are they? You'll just have to keep going regardless, and as you go you'll realize that you will be fine.)


Eaglebauer

Moderator
New Post! June 07, 2012 @ 06:24:12 pm
1
This isn't your life though.

It's a part of your life, it isn't the whole thing. Life is episodic and what is happening right now is just an episode in the longer event that is your life, and while what's happening right now might not make a hell of a lot of sense, it's because you haven't seen the episodes that are to come.

When you're farther along down the path, this will make sense and it will be useful to you.

Also, I seriously doubt the parenting ability of anyone who isn't scared s***less when it happens thinks it's easy and that they know what they're doing. I'm a three time dad and I'll save you the suspense...it won't get any easier if it happens again and if you do have other kids, you won't make the same mistakes with them that you made the first time, but you'll make an entirely different set of mistakes.

Be a little easier on yourself. Your daughter needs you to have a clear head and she deserves a mother who is secure enough to make her happy. You can be that, you just have to let yourself.


sweetheart5545

New Post! June 07, 2012 @ 08:48:07 pm
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@Eaglebauer Said

This isn't your life though.

It's a part of your life, it isn't the whole thing. Life is episodic and what is happening right now is just an episode in the longer event that is your life, and while what's happening right now might not make a hell of a lot of sense, it's because you haven't seen the episodes that are to come.

When you're farther along down the path, this will make sense and it will be useful to you.

Also, I seriously doubt the parenting ability of anyone who isn't scared s***less when it happens thinks it's easy and that they know what they're doing. I'm a three time dad and I'll save you the suspense...it won't get any easier if it happens again and if you do have other kids, you won't make the same mistakes with them that you made the first time, but you'll make an entirely different set of mistakes.

Be a little easier on yourself. Your daughter needs you to have a clear head and she deserves a mother who is secure enough to make her happy. You can be that, you just have to let yourself.



I agree,It will turn out fine,just have faith in yourself.


Dark_Tink

<3 Boobie <3

New Post! June 07, 2012 @ 10:57:35 pm
1
Coulda, woulda, shoulda. You can't change the past, so learn from it and move along with the present and work towards the future.

I was in the same boat as you Kristy 18yrs ago. I had my daughter when I was 19 and was with a verbally/emotionally/mentally abusive 'man'. After almost 2 years, I finally had enough and left him when my daughter was 6months old.

It's rough going as a single mom, but like me, you will have your mom there for you for help and guidance.

Don't beat yourself up over what has happened, since that isn't going to help. Get your plans sorted for you and your daughter and look forward to what is to come.



MAW

New Post! June 09, 2012 @ 05:38:27 pm
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Don't dwell on it. Look to the future hun.

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