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On January 11, 2023 Grasshopper


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Just me.



Fort Collins, Colorado
Joined: Feb 2010

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Age: 31
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grasshopper
TFS Journal
Too much...
March 31, 2014 @ 01:54:39 am
I can't handle feeling this way anymore. I feel isolated from everybody else, because I just don't understand them and I'm so sensitive. Like for example, deep down I know they're joking with me, but I still can't help but take it personally. And I'm afraid to tell people that I don't find it funny, because I'm afraid people will say "Oh take a f***ing joke! Stop being a baby!"

And I feel I'll never be good enough at any job I do, as there's always something I forget. Today I randomly broke down crying while cleaning a bathroom because I just knew I wouldn't do it right.

I don't think I should work around people at all. I just want to be happy in life.

And people are like "Well that's life, get used to it"

Maybe I don't want to live anymore. I am so tired of being depressed and different. I'll never be truly understood.

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Eaglebauer

Moderator
New Post! March 31, 2014 @ 02:07:34 am
2
It sounds like you're kind of at sea.

I understand and I know it's not the most useful thing to say, but being understood and being happy are not the same things. I've had only a few people in my life that have come close to understanding me and I have learned over the years to turn the feeling around and just enjoy trying to understand others instead of trying to get them to understand me.

I don't know you very closely on a personal level, but I do get it and there are lots of people, even a fair amount here on TFS, who know the taste of what you're feeling. I've spoken to a lot of them myself.

You're among friends here, Grassy. PM me if you want to talk and need another one. I'm always looking for them myself.

Really.


twilitezone911

New Post! March 31, 2014 @ 03:18:31 am
0
when i was your age now, similar experience, it feel like i want quit your job and hide in your bedroom forever, not come out ever. it would be nice to that, but you have bills to paid, and have a life. with family support, and learning ' common sense ', and value lesson in personal growth of maturity. you have learn to have a ' tough skin ' at the job, not that easy. it take let things rub off your back, don't let stick to you. if you can walk away from the person, who is brothering you, that is good. ignored them, if you can't, laugh at them, when are hurting you. you use your brain, think something you said to embarrassment in a nice way, not nasty way, they will come back at you mean. long run, it doesn't too any good. do the opposite what they you would do, be nice to them regardless, or help them out. even defend them, if someone embarrassing them. that a judgement call! try really nuts always be nice to them, tell them, you always be friends. be surprise that in time, your enemy will be best buddy. as for work duties, i found out, that repetition is really good thing, than a bad thing. so if you not a good at something, just do the best you can. let be honest, you really stink at your job, you be fire long time ago. so, you must be doing right, right ! just hang in there ! ok !


paramour

New Post! March 31, 2014 @ 05:34:11 pm
0
I personally do not know you from d***, Jane, or Joe Bob, but I do empathize with your current situation. I've been there more times than not and I can understand. And it does indeed suck. Just as some people suck major balls.

It is easy for people to tell others "that's life," "suck it up," or whatever they want to throw your way when they haven't the slightest idea what you're experiencing or they've not been through something remotely similar. Others may try to be sympathetic and helpful, but their platitudes can come across as meaningless and hurtful despite their intentions. Then, some people are simply complete & utter jagoffs.

I do not make connections with others for a number of reasons. I'm OK with this most of the time. However, there are times when it does feel lonely. Humans are generally social critters. And it hurts when there's no one there for you. When you feel like there's no one else who gives a damn.

Being depressed is a b*tch. You're going through an extremely difficult time right now, and coping with the thoughts and feelings you expressed can be trying for the strongest of persons. I encourage you to try to find *someone* you can talk to. Although I don't know you, PLEASE feel free to PM me if you need an extra ear (mine are dumbo-sized, so I'm more than willing to lend one out!). In the meantime, find something (or multiple somethings) that you can do to distract yourself from focusing inward. KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. Yeah, it may feel forced and you may not find much pleasure or joy in it to start. But keep with it anyway. If you're focusing on your activities and keeping yourself busy, then you're not ruminating over how much the world sucks, how much you or I suck, and how meaningless existence, life, the universe, etc. is . . . As (hopefully) an added bonus, stick with it long enough, and you may find yourself starting to enjoy it, which can help counteract some of those negative thoughts/feelings we experience. Take one day at a time.

GOOD LUCK!


yami

New Post! March 31, 2014 @ 06:07:11 pm
1
Rather than let this carry on and get worse you need to seek some professional help. See your dr. because if you can't find a way to swing out of this it will only get worse and worse.
Perhaps a professional will help you get to the bottom of what is behind your depression.
Sorry to hear you burst into tears, that is horrible.

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