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On May 24, 2022 Deal_With_It


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Stevens Pass, Washington
Joined: Aug 2011

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Age: 71
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It will be two weeks
December 25, 2012 @ 07:17:02 am
tomorrow, December 25th, since my eldest son died. I can't seem to cry. I'm afraid that if I start I won't be able to stop.
He was only 44. It was an apartment fire. They found him on the sofa in the frontroom. If you're aware of a fire wouldn't you be by a door or window? I think that's what has really saved me from losing it. (Please if anyone responds to this please don't tell me I'm wrong.)
Haven't heard from the coroner yet. They had to use his dental records. He's had the same dentist since he was 12. Except for the time he was in the Army. So why is it taking so long?
My two granddaughters want to put his ashes in Puget Sound. I'm not sure if that's legal. Will have to find out.
I wish I believed in a heaven.

1
Quote | Reply


JR_Sanford

New Post! December 25, 2012 @ 07:43:34 am
0
@Deal_With_It Said
tomorrow, December 25th, since my eldest son died. I can't seem to cry. I'm afraid that if I start I won't be able to stop.
He was only 44. It was an apartment fire. They found him on the sofa in the frontroom. If you're aware of a fire wouldn't you be by a door or window? I think that's what has really saved me from losing it. (Please if anyone responds to this please don't tell me I'm wrong.)
Haven't heard from the coroner yet. They had to use his dental records. He's had the same dentist since he was 12. Except for the time he was in the Army. So why is it taking so long?
My two granddaughters want to put his ashes in Puget Sound. I'm not sure if that's legal. Will have to find out.
I wish I believed in a heaven.


Put his ashes wherever you want. Try to think that your son would not want you to be going through this dilemma because of him. His only hope for you is that you are safe and happy.

People mourn in their own unique ways. Crying helps some people. There are reports of 5 stages of grief and 7 stages of grief that may be of some help in understanding what you are feeling is normal. Second guessing and saying, "If only..." will wear you out. Here is a saying that helps me to cope with death of someone dear, "Here is a test to see if your mission in life is complete: "If you're alive, it isn't." Peace be with you and may I offer my condolences.

J.R.


Demented

New Post! December 25, 2012 @ 11:33:33 am
0
So sorry to here the sad news,the crying bit?,some people don't shed tears so I wouldn't feel bad about it.
What your Grandaughters want to do with his ashes,let them,don't ask permission just do it,what the local authorities don't know won't hurt them.
Once again sorry to hear of your loss.


sTreetAngeL

root tedt ree

New Post! December 25, 2012 @ 05:17:41 pm
0
I'm so sorry for your loss.


rosexthorn

New Post! December 25, 2012 @ 07:24:26 pm
0
Thoughts are with you..


Electric_Banana

New Post! December 25, 2012 @ 07:41:26 pm
0


sister_of_mercy

New Post! December 25, 2012 @ 08:09:14 pm
0
So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family


Sparklegirl

LL.M

New Post! December 25, 2012 @ 10:22:27 pm
0
So sorry for your loss


boobear

New Post! December 26, 2012 @ 07:15:21 am
0
So sorry for your loss and that you are having to go through this, hope you find some peace soon, thinking of you


someone_else_again

Really. Not a dude.

New Post! December 26, 2012 @ 07:06:16 pm
0
I am so sorry for your loss.

I found some info for you regarding the scattering of the ashes. Apparently you can scatter them in Puget Sound. You can even do it from the ferry, there's just some protocol to follow.

https://funeralinformation.org/scattering-ashes/


I hope it brings you peace.


treebee

Government Hooker

Moderator
New Post! December 26, 2012 @ 07:19:55 pm
0
What awful news and what a shock you must be feeling. I am so sorry. I know its not really any help. I do hope there is a full investigation into what happened so that it can help you understand a bit more.

Don't be on your own, don't be scared to talk about it and do take good advice from professional people like samaritans or local bereavement groups.

I am not religious but I wish some peace of mind for you, hold on when things seem darkest


Deal_With_It

New Post! December 28, 2012 @ 10:51:17 am
0
@Deal_With_It Said
tomorrow, December 25th, since my eldest son died. I can't seem to cry. I'm afraid that if I start I won't be able to stop.
He was only 44. It was an apartment fire. They found him on the sofa in the frontroom. If you're aware of a fire wouldn't you be by a door or window? I think that's what has really saved me from losing it. (Please if anyone responds to this please don't tell me I'm wrong.)
Haven't heard from the coroner yet. They had to use his dental records. He's had the same dentist since he was 12. Except for the time he was in the Army. So why is it taking so long?
My two granddaughters want to put his ashes in Puget Sound. I'm not sure if that's legal. Will have to find out.
I wish I believed in a heaven.



@Demented Said

So sorry to here the sad news,the crying bit?,some people don't shed tears so I wouldn't feel bad about it.
What your Grandaughters want to do with his ashes,let them,don't ask permission just do it,what the local authorities don't know won't hurt them.
Once again sorry to hear of your loss.



@sTreetAngeL Said

I'm so sorry for your loss.



@rosexthorn Said

Thoughts are with you..






@sister_of_mercy Said

So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family



@Sparklegirl Said

So sorry for your loss



@boobear Said

So sorry for your loss and that you are having to go through this, hope you find some peace soon, thinking of you



@someone_else_again Said

I am so sorry for your loss.

I found some info for you regarding the scattering of the ashes. Apparently you can scatter them in Puget Sound. You can even do it from the ferry, there's just some protocol to follow.

https://funeralinformation.org/scattering-ashes/


I hope it brings you peace.



@treebee Said

What awful news and what a shock you must be feeling. I am so sorry. I know its not really any help. I do hope there is a full investigation into what happened so that it can help you understand a bit more.

Don't be on your own, don't be scared to talk about it and do take good advice from professional people like samaritans or local bereavement groups.

I am not religious but I wish some peace of mind for you, hold on when things seem darkest

To all of you that have replied I really appreciate your kind words. I wasn't planning to bring this up when for many people this holiday is sacred and full of happiness.
I was going through a moment of melancholy. Now you don't need to say 'Oh that's ok people need to get their emotions out there.' I normally am not that type of person.
I don't know but for some reason I needed to tell someone that I lost my son.


Sparklegirl

LL.M

New Post! December 28, 2012 @ 11:03:12 am
0
@Deal_With_It Said

To all of you that have replied I really appreciate your kind words. I wasn't planning to bring this up when for many people this holiday is sacred and full of happiness.
I was going through a moment of melancholy. Now you don't need to say 'Oh that's ok people need to get their emotions out there.' I normally am not that type of person.
I don't know but for some reason I needed to tell someone that I lost my son.



While it may be a time of happiness for some, it is also a time of intense sadness for others. On Christmas morning many years ago my cousin was found dead on the sofa by her mother, so it is a time for mixed emotions for many.

You needed to tell someone what had happened, and while it may not be like you to do so, it was necessary at the time. Nobody can truly understand exactly what you are experiencing unless they have been through the same, but alwyas know that there are people here you can PM if you need to talk


Deal_With_It

New Post! December 28, 2012 @ 11:06:47 am
0
@Sparklegirl Said

While it may be a time of happiness for some, it is also a time of intense sadness for others. On Christmas morning many years ago my cousin was found dead on the sofa by her mother, so it is a time for mixed emotions for many.

You needed to tell someone what had happened, and while it may not be like you to do so, it was necessary at the time. Nobody can truly understand exactly what you are experiencing unless they have been through the same, but alwyas know that there are people here you can PM if you need to talk

What you have said is appreciated more than you will ever know. Thank you.


sweetheart5545

New Post! December 28, 2012 @ 07:30:07 pm
0
I'm so sorry

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