"Ally"  AlkiRose
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Auburn, Washington
Joined: Dec 2010 |
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I've got this roommate. A Really nice older gal in her late 40's that has really become my adopted mom while I've been here. I really can say that I've really gotten mad at her only once since we've been here, until now.
I hardly get mad at my roommates, there's no point because it will make living with them unbearable, and that's why I'm posting this on here now, to save our "home" from being ruined when I blow up on her.
A Little history:
My Roommate "ANM" (Adopted New Mom) takes care of everyone here. as a matter of fact, she's taken care of me while my family back home empties my bank accounts and causes me to go into debt all while acting like they're the most supportive family ever to their friends on facebook (that I get to read) while treating me like s*** (which I don't write for others to read)
She's been my best friend, I've always admired her for going out of her way to help someone... Well recently, she's been working on a military program that's huge here in Afghanistan, I catch ANM outside constantly with high ranking people working on this projects over coffee or cigarettes . I admire that about her also, because it's effortless for her to slip into these high ranking positions and use her experience to steal the show and make everything just the way it should be. We're both lower enlisted, so our unit frowns upon her because she's getting so much attention and they're not getting any.
so she's getting all these awards and coins and amazing reviews from these high ranking people, and our first-line-leaders keep giving her bad reviews and they put her under investigation trying to dig up any dirt on her that they can possibly find to try to make her life hell.
I understand that.
I get that, she has a lot of s*** going on right now, but two nights ago...:
A suicidal soldier came up to her and spilled the beans of his situation, SS (Suicidal Soldier) told ANM that he keeps getting picked on and harassed and he wonders if someone kills themselves, if it will cause our company to go under investigation so all of these first-line-leaders will be tossed out and replaced with good leadership. SS Kept implying that he would do it for the good of the company, because he didn't have anything to live for, without actually saying "Hey motherf***er, I'm going to shoot myself in the face with this loaded weapon, and I hope, for your sake, that they change our leadership after I'm gone so you don't end up having the same thoughts!"
ANM never seen the connection! She told SS that she couldn't help him. ANM told SS that he needed to go elsewhere and try to get help. She didn't alert anyone, she didn't make sure SS went to mental-health or anything, just came in and started talking about all her problems...
Finally I had to yell at her, saying "ANM, your problems can wait! How could you be so selfish when SS might not even make it to tomorrow?!"
She still didn't get it, going on and on about all of the stuff she has going on.
I couldn't believe it. I know she has a lot of stuff on her plate, but no matter what, if you have someones life in one hand and your problems in the other, you don't just drop whoever is about ready to kill themselves for your own stinking problems... Problems that can wait!!
I had no other option, I had to go to our higher ups and tell them my he-said-she-said story in hopes that they would accept it in all its seriousness even though it should have been *ANM* that went to them and telling them her story.
Thank GOD they accepted my story, getting a hold of SS right away and making sure he was alright.
I'm not sure what happened to SS after all of that, my job there was done. I gave my statement and alerted the proper people, they no longer needed to keep me updated.
Although I'm pissed off that ANM was more concerned about herself than this SS, I was extra pissed today when she was yelling at me because she thinks I got her into trouble for going to our first-line-leaders about SS. She didn't ask if he was alright or if they got a hold of him, she was just concerned with her own reputation and if she was going to get into trouble for not being the one to go get help for SS.
I really wanted to smack her upside of the head and tell her how stupid she was being. I still do actually
But, like I said, I'm stuck living with her for the next 5 months, whether I like it or not. She's my ANM and I don't want this to affect our relationship, but for crying out loud, she condemned a man to die because she had "too much on her plate"... I don't know if I can feel the same way about her again. | |
Electric_Banana
| You did right by letting others know.
It's strange that she didn't take him seriously.
Also, you're all soldiers - shouldn't they all be kissing your butts instead of trying to pull the rug out from under each other?
Are these people diving into the heat of the battle as team mates covering one another efficiently after getting in the constant habit of treating each other like opponents while not in battle? |
AlkiRose
| @Electric_Banana Said 
You did right by letting others know.
It's strange that she didn't take him seriously.
Also, you're all soldiers - shouldn't they all be kissing your butts instead of trying to pull the rug out from under each other?
Are these people diving into the heat of the battle as team mates covering one another efficiently after getting in the constant habit of treating each other like opponents while not in battle?
I know, it doesn't make sense, but we're a reservist unit, so most of these people remember how to get ahead from back home, not like we're together everyday for two or three years before we go to a war zone, such as an active duty unit would.
These people are more concerned with getting a bigger paycheck rather than taking care of each other.
What's sad is that an article just came out in the Stars and Stripes about two soldiers that were being treated badly by their units and actually DID kill themselves, and the paper was reporting on how nothing bad happened to the people that pushed these soldiers over the edge.
Actually, right when we got here, a young (22yr old) soldier shot himself in the porta-potty for the same reason.
I think that's one thing that I don't like about the military, we should ALL be active duty, because I think it takes that sort of mentality and companionship to survive. Reservists and national guardsmen have no loyalty to each other.
SORRY, that's like a whole other rant!!  |
Electric_Banana
| @AlkiRose Said
I know, it doesn't make sense, but we're a reservist unit, so most of these people remember how to get ahead from back home, not like we're together everyday for two or three years before we go to a war zone, such as an active duty unit would.
These people are more concerned with getting a bigger paycheck rather than taking care of each other.
What's sad is that an article just came out in the Stars and Stripes about two soldiers that were being treated badly by their units and actually DID kill themselves, and the paper was reporting on how nothing bad happened to the people that pushed these soldiers over the edge.
Actually, right when we got here, a young (22yr old) soldier shot himself in the porta-potty for the same reason.
I think that's one thing that I don't like about the military, we should ALL be active duty, because I think it takes that sort of mentality and companionship to survive. Reservists and national guardsmen have no loyalty to each other.
SORRY, that's like a whole other rant!!
Considering that your room mate is trying hard to be everyone's hero and that she constantly has to put up with people attempting to sabotage her credibility I can see where she might have become too self involved to notice SS or might have suspected SS to be another sabotage attempt.
I would forgive her and just focus more on the pride in yourself for taking the initiative to take it seriously and act on it. |
sTreetAngeL
root tedt ree
| "I don't know if I can feel the same way about her again."
I'd be worried if you did ever feel the same way about her again. What she did was dispicable. She should get in trouble for it!! And will deserve it.
...The fact that she was so helpful, and selfless with others prior to all of this is what I'm questioning right now... Her reaction towards that guy just doesn't jive with that...
I'd keep my eye on her if I were you. She sounds self centered. And very calculated. |
GaryL
| @AlkiRose Said
I've always admired her for going out of her way to help someone... Well recently, she's been working on a military program that's huge here in Afghanistan, I catch ANM outside constantly with high ranking people working on this projects over coffee or cigarettes . I admire that about her also, because it's effortless for her to slip into these high ranking positions and use her experience to steal the show and make everything just the way it should be. We're both lower enlisted, so our unit frowns upon her because she's getting so much attention and they're not getting any.
so she's getting all these awards and coins and amazing reviews from these high ranking people,
She's a narcissus. Everything she does is for her benefit. She lives in a "ME" world. Sadly, narcissism is difficult to treat because it's hard to get them to see anything beyond themselves. They rarely do anything that will not get them noticed. They need to be in the limelight.
Her reactions toward the "SS" is typical behavior of a narcissus. She would have received alittle attention had she reported the incident, but the bulk of the attention would have been focused on the SS.
You could talk to her until you were blue in face, but you'll never be able to make her understand. She is totally clueless to anyone's feelings but her own. Her ability to the feel empathy is non-existant.
All you can do is grit your teeth and put up with it until your time over there is up and you go your separate ways.
Good luck on your mission and thank you for helping to make the world a safer place in which to live. You have my gratitude and respect.
Gary |
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(Can I rant, just for a minute... Please??)
August 20, 2011 @ 12:04:19 pm
