|
| 28 | | M |
Canada | | 2395 | | 46.01 | | Dec 27, 2008 | | 211 |
| |
|
So, on the good side of things I only woke up with a headache which isn't that bad. Not a lot of sleep as I still had nightmares. Something about human and lion zombies of sort that you had to kill with water. A bunch of people were spraying them in the face until they died, then turned their attention to me, even though I wasn't one. The water was spraying, and then they started punching and I remember looking at my mother standing not too far away and saying "I'm not dead! Why aren't you helping me?" Ah... Perhaps is was a psychic mention of what was to happen later today.
So I figured I'd try school. I didn't make it yesterday. I can't even remember if I made it the day before. It's freezing outside with the wind blowing a hundred miles an hour, but at least it wasn't snowing or raining. My bi-polar body temperature kept me really warm at times, absolutey deathly cold other times but I made it.
About an hour into the day and the head spins started. They weren't too bad to begin with - I'd feel a little dizzy and catch my balance when I stood but they got worse steadily. I mean imagine your free falling straight down from a thousand feet in the air to a big concrete pad. Almost landed on my a** getting out of my desk in Math class. I haven't got a clue what the lesson was; I might as well have been a zombie for all the staring I did.
Good news, the girl I kind of like and first sort of half friend stopped to talk and ask how I was. Bad news, now she really knows what a loser I am... lol
So, anyways, I didn't last past lunch before I got sent home. At least they didn't ship me off in an ambulance fearing Swine Flu. I'd have left anyway. My stomach was (is) killing me still. I feel like there's a little army of razor blades in there very slowly and deliberately working their way out in the most excruitating way possible. I guess I asked for it.
Good news, I made it out of the school without losing any contents of my stomach. Bad news, in my stumble home, I ended up walking into this macho Asian dude and his buddies on a power trip, and his fist did nothing to help my stomach, and after the first well placed shot I ended up on my hands and knees and finally did lose all my bile. Bad news, I think I got his shoe. Good news, it didn't last too long. Bad news, it hurt like f***ing hell.
Anyway, enough whining. I made it back in one piece. As long as I don't stand up, or do it extremely slowly, my head's not too bad. The gut situation hasn't changed. Every muscle is screaming in protest the moment I move.
The last weekend I spent doing too much illegal substances I hadn't eaten in three days. I tried a bowl of soup two and a half hours ago but it's not working out so well. It's like my body's not sure of this stuff and is rejecting it. I feel hungry, take a spoonful, but then my stomach turns and I don't want to puke again. And it sucks knowing that if I have even just a few beers I'll feel 100% again. But only to do this all over?
Anyways, I have the next few hours to myself before mother and jackass get here. Maybe by some miracle the symptoms will lift and I'll enjoy a good meal and a shower before I lock myself away.
Ah, the joys of life...
| |
Allyson
| doesnt sound like there was much good going your way today.
I hope you feel better soon |
lilbear
Aequitas / Veritas!
| Maybe tomorrow will be a better day, I hope!  |
Aden
| Well, I figured it would happen sooner or later today. The last few hours were good, but depression is coming crashing back down on me like a tidal wave. Emotions are going wild and right now sitting at a low.
God, I truly hate myself sometimes. It's so hard knowing that can't escape me.
Mother is home and I can't sit here with tears streaming down my face so I must be off. |
|
Ah, the brutality...
October 29, 2009 @ 10:30:00 pm
