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On October 28, 2011 Johnny_shade


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Casper, Wyoming
Joined: Oct 2009

My Stats
Age: 37
Gender: M
Location: Casper
Wyoming
United States
Posts: 1373
PLS: ? 62.25
Joined:: Oct 22, 2009
Reputation: 157

 
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Grasshopper

Just me.

New Post! Another collection to my zoo. lol
March 03, 2014 @ 01:04:24 am
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Grasshopper

Just me.

New Post! Kind of a confession (Possibly TMI)
February 21, 2014 @ 02:09:12 am
1
In the past, I've said crappy things and was being judgmental. Many times I've spoke against LGBT rights, because I guess somewhere it says it's morally wrong. I've never read the bible and never will, as I'm stubborn. I guess I just wanted to listen to my parents (Who are firmly against it, and dad enough where he will scream bloody murder about them for no reason. Seriously, he HATES them.) Mom would tell me that having too many posters of female celebrities on my walls would make people think I was a lesbian. So I took most of them down.

I once told her that I love the smell of a man's cologne, and she said that makes me sound like a whore.. So apparently, Sex was bad and something to ashamed of. A classmate in the third grade caught me drawing a nude woman on my paper, and she laughed to her friends about it.

At six years old I asked dad what sex was. He replied with "It's when a guy sticks his d*** up your pee hole!"

I've always felt so different than other girls in my school. I'd have crushes and fantasies on other girls. I didn't start thinking about guys like that until high school. When talking face to face with another female in person, I'd always picture myself having sex with them. Disgusted with myself, I'd desperately switch the subject in my head.

I felt like such a sicko for a long time.

Now that I've lived away from my parents, I've been thinking hard about what my OWN opinions are about those subjects. And recently I've became good friends with a person who is bisexual, and an amazing person.


And so I've really started to realize it's not a bad thing at all. Maybe it's possible that I'm not a "sicko", and am indeed normal. Maybe I too am bisexual.

I'm not comfortable with physical relationships, but I think the same about girls as I do with men.

As for Marijuana... I used to be set against that as well, and was judgmental about that...until I discovered that at least half of my coworkers who are completely normal smoke it on a regular basis. But to be honest, the stuff stinks like piss, so I still won't smoke that s***. lol!

I still get confused on what I really think about things. I'm still getting used to it. But please understand that I don't hate LGBT and never have. I just thought of my family as being the only right people.

I apologize if I'm not making sense, it's been a long week and explaining myself to other people isn't easy for me. Things tend to come across wrong.

10 comments | Reply



Grasshopper

Just me.

New Post! Maybe I'm meant to be by myself. (girlie lovey talk)
February 06, 2014 @ 07:00:10 am
1
I've never felt comfortable being in a relationship. I've never wanted to kiss a guy, and I'm 22. Although I do get lonely sometimes. Guys that wanted to be with me dumped me after like a week, and every guy I've really liked never liked me back. Maybe I'm just too different, and I don't see myself ever changing. Maybe I'm just meant to live alone, like live my own life. Maybe I'm just not compatible with living with people.

4 comments | Reply



Grasshopper

Just me.

New Post! Songs that brighten my day.
January 28, 2014 @ 06:20:30 am
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Grasshopper

Just me.

New Post! I done got my nails did!
January 23, 2014 @ 06:24:05 am
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Got them done yesterday.

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Grasshopper

Just me.

New Post! How embarassing...
January 21, 2014 @ 08:46:41 pm
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I cleaned my house last night, and cleaned up about four 30 gallon trash bags worth of trash. Is Pauling a pack rat? Is the pope Catholic?

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Grasshopper

Just me.

New Post! January 19, 2014 @ 03:18:59 am
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I seriously feel like hurting people right now.

6 comments | Reply



Grasshopper

Just me.

New Post! New babies
January 16, 2014 @ 03:39:06 am
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So my rat "Ginger" died last week from pneumonia shortly after the vet took her into his office. I guess she had so much infection in her throat and lungs that she choked, leaving Pepper all alone in the cage. So the other day I got her two new friends, both females. Their names are Cinder and Ember.

I know the picture quality isn't the best, they were taken with my iPod.

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Grasshopper

Just me.

New Post! December 13, 2013 @ 05:54:46 am
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I wish this depression would just go away. It physically hurts and there's no reason to it. It feels like I'm emotionally dead and my spirit is just gone. I know people care, but it's like I'm on my own.

5 comments | Reply



Grasshopper

Just me.

New Post! A couple of my best friends turned out to be rats!
November 11, 2013 @ 06:36:04 am
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Literally.

Whenever I feel lonely and/or depressed, I hold and give little kisses to these two girls. I could feel like crying, then the sweet little ratty chatter I hear when I hold them just makes me smile every time. I love my cats, but I've honestly never felt a closer bond to any other being than these rats. They're my babies.

When I got them, I felt depressed and decided all of a sudden that I wanted pet rats. They're the best impulse buy I've ever decided on.

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