hurting help

just wondering if any has been though what im going through?
my wife of 13yrs just left me.i cant sleep im losing weight everday?
we have 2 children.the last couple years we where always arguing and told her i would see a counselor we where into drugs with the wrong croud,going out lots and in the end fighting lots.is it worth fighting for our love>? or should i just move on we share both children she doesnt work im just lost with out her

Drugs will do that. Get straightened out first and then look at your options.

13 years in a relationship shouldn't just be snuffed out lightly. Have you spoken with your wife? I mean really sat down and talked things out? Do you blame the breakdown solely on the drug taking, or do you think the drugs were an excuse?

It's the children I feel sorry for in any breakdown of relationships.

You say she's "just left"....perhaps there's still time to sort things out between you?

no im not blamming the drugs .should i just lett her go and try to find myself.im going to counselling and i feel alot better mentally and i ask her to come with me to counselling but all she says is "im done".but she is really nice to me all the time?

It's very difficult to give an opinion without hearing two sides of the story. From what you've said, it sounds like your wife has made up her mind and wishes to end the relationship.

I really do wish you the best and hope it works out for you.

Wow, tough situation. Here's my oppinion. Keep going to the counseling, and get off the drugs. You have to work on you before you can work on your relationships. It sounds like you're starting to do that, and I applaud you for that. A lot of people would waste time blaming everyone else rather than fixing their own problems. Next, worry about your children. They didn't ask to be put in the middle of this. Be the best father you can possibly be for them. When all that starts falling in to place, maybe you can revisit things with your wife.

I would say work on yourself first, then see where things stand when you're better, you may have a different outlook on the whole situation, as for the children, as sad as a breakup is in my opinion the drugs were not the best environment for them at all, but you getting help with your problem will change the children s view of the situation, a lot better for them, and we all know we cannot make another person seek help, they have to go for themselves by themselves, maybe she will get to that point, but that's not for you to worry about now, now it's You,You,You for the betterment of you and your children. JMO Good Luck, you're very strong in getting the help that you needed, one day at a time K?

do you want her back, and if so, for the right reasons?

wow you guys all all a big help? ty
yes i would love to have her back i tell her that every time i see her man i love that women so much i just find it hard to go on? i work and i try to work my 40hours but i have to support her and them and its work kids have to do both thats whats hard .the first 11yrs where the best to me?she is going to counselling also and im really gonna try to do the best for my girls.as for the drugs they had and have no idea we where into drugs but my wife says it was my problem and not hers .but she did as much as my and for all i know she did more?.she is still with the same friends and im not she never calls the girls when i have them and i miss them when i dont masn this is the hardest thing in my life its like she died? is that weird or what?it all started when we lost everthing in our lifes went bankrucpt loss a aunt and uncle in a car crash with the car we lent them about 2yras ago
its just seems like we where struggling all our life?if this makes sence?

A lot of sense, the saying when it rains it pours comes to mind, but do the best you can and hopefully the hurt will lessen with time, did she say that you might get back together again or not? if not then you're going to have to go through the whole range of emotions and it's painful and hard, but doable. Believe it or not it's when it's the darkest that you learn to see the lights if you get my meaning, there is some good in there somewhere, you just have to find it and hold on to it.

what she says is she doesnt know "right now is no"
im telling you im trying my best my kids are my life my world they keep me going and living
i want to show them the world! tell me about the hurt it seems to worsen everyday? maybe i shouldnt show her that? what do you guys think she knows i"ll be here for her anytime ,anything she needs ill give it to her?