I recently found my son's three children with whom contact had been lost after a divorce. There are three-one stepdaughter and two biological children. The stepdaughter, child one, remembered me and we have established a wonderful relationship. Child two didn't answer my attempt to contact her but a cousin she'd lived with two years emailed me that Amber had been hurt and I'd better not hurt her again. I assured her I had no intention of finding a grandchild just to hurt her. Then Amber and I emailed and talked on the phone. After about a month Amber announced that she, her husband, baby, and cousin plus child one and her husband and two children were coming for a visit (they would staying with me). I am 73 years old, lost my husband in January and am in the process of getting my house ready to sell so I can move closer to my daughter. Was I wrong not to want eight house guests, only one of whom I really know, to come uninvited at this time? Was I wrong not to want a stranger-cousin who had already threatened me not to hurt my own granddaughter coming to my home to check me out in person?
That is wonderful that you have been able to make contact with her.
I agree with treebee and white swan. IMO, it's very presumptuous of her to want all these people to stay at your place.
Meeting for a few hours would be much better. If you two don't live too far from each other that is. Though you could meet have way so there would be less travel for you both.
She may be worried about getting hurt again, but she has no right to bring her cousin along. She would have her husband with her. How could she not feel secure enough with him there? Also, for your first
face-to-face meeting, I would think it would be better if she didn't bring children along. Just her and her husband would be best.