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grandchildren I have found

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roakes1019 On June 20, 2012




Terry, Mississippi
#1New Post! Jun 17, 2012 @ 16:22:57
I recently found my son's three children with whom contact had been lost after a divorce. There are three-one stepdaughter and two biological children. The stepdaughter, child one, remembered me and we have established a wonderful relationship. Child two didn't answer my attempt to contact her but a cousin she'd lived with two years emailed me that Amber had been hurt and I'd better not hurt her again. I assured her I had no intention of finding a grandchild just to hurt her. Then Amber and I emailed and talked on the phone. After about a month Amber announced that she, her husband, baby, and cousin plus child one and her husband and two children were coming for a visit (they would staying with me). I am 73 years old, lost my husband in January and am in the process of getting my house ready to sell so I can move closer to my daughter. Was I wrong not to want eight house guests, only one of whom I really know, to come uninvited at this time? Was I wrong not to want a stranger-cousin who had already threatened me not to hurt my own granddaughter coming to my home to check me out in person?
treebee On April 13, 2015
Government Hooker

Moderator




London, United Kingdom
#2New Post! Jun 17, 2012 @ 17:30:36
I think it would be reasonable to actually meet these people before having them stay at your home. I think you are right to be a bit cautious about having complete strangers come and stay in your house.
roakes1019 On June 20, 2012




Terry, Mississippi
#3New Post! Jun 17, 2012 @ 19:24:50
Thank you for your reply. I, too, felt that things were moving along too quickly. Perhaps my granddaughter will eventually stop being defensive and we can resume out getting-to-know each other.
white_swan53 On August 14, 2019




n/a, New Mexico
#4New Post! Jun 17, 2012 @ 21:54:40
I agree totally with treebee .
I would definitely have reservations about having 8 uninvited , unrelated and for all intents and purposes unknown house guests at any time .
roakes1019 On June 20, 2012




Terry, Mississippi
#5New Post! Jun 18, 2012 @ 13:14:05
Thank you, White Swan. Actually, I was outraged. To make the matter worse, the granddaughter invited this cousin, without asking me, because they were afraid I might "hurt" Amber. This granddaughter is 26 and still very co-dependent with her surrogate mother-cousin.
waldo On August 02, 2016
I don't care





lancaster, United Kingdom
#6New Post! Jun 18, 2012 @ 14:01:38
So you have found some. How many more are missing?
Dark_Tink On December 30, 2018
<3 Boobie <3





, Canada
#7New Post! Jun 18, 2012 @ 14:25:59
@roakes1019 Said

I recently found my son's three children with whom contact had been lost after a divorce. There are three-one stepdaughter and two biological children. The stepdaughter, child one, remembered me and we have established a wonderful relationship. Child two didn't answer my attempt to contact her but a cousin she'd lived with two years emailed me that Amber had been hurt and I'd better not hurt her again. I assured her I had no intention of finding a grandchild just to hurt her. Then Amber and I emailed and talked on the phone. After about a month Amber announced that she, her husband, baby, and cousin plus child one and her husband and two children were coming for a visit (they would staying with me). I am 73 years old, lost my husband in January and am in the process of getting my house ready to sell so I can move closer to my daughter. Was I wrong not to want eight house guests, only one of whom I really know, to come uninvited at this time? Was I wrong not to want a stranger-cousin who had already threatened me not to hurt my own granddaughter coming to my home to check me out in person?


That is wonderful that you have been able to make contact with her.

I agree with treebee and white swan. IMO, it's very presumptuous of her to want all these people to stay at your place.

Meeting for a few hours would be much better. If you two don't live too far from each other that is. Though you could meet have way so there would be less travel for you both.

She may be worried about getting hurt again, but she has no right to bring her cousin along. She would have her husband with her. How could she not feel secure enough with him there? Also, for your first
face-to-face meeting, I would think it would be better if she didn't bring children along. Just her and her husband would be best.
roakes1019 On June 20, 2012




Terry, Mississippi
#8New Post! Jun 19, 2012 @ 18:32:01
Thank you all for your replies; I now have confidence I did the right thing. Another thing I did for this granddaughter is pay for her mother's divorce so she would be legitimate. Furthermore, the oldest child, a step-granddaughter, has welcomed me back in her life. Wouldn't she have been a more reliable source of my "safety" for these girls than a cousin who doesn't know me?
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