domestic violence.....

Wayne8559

?ber Two Hat

Plymouth, United Kingdom

#16

Mar 24, 2009 @ 23:51:13

@crankshaft Said

A gal pal stabbed me in the stomache once. The knife didn't go in far enough to penetrate anything vital. I treated the wound myself. If I had gone to the emergency room, the cops would have been involved.
It hurt my feelings more than anything. Never, ever, had I hit a woman nor cheated on my wife when married. The explanation she gave was that she was still mad because I missed her birthday the day before. Sheese!

Good god

remind me to never miss any future gf's birthdays !

0

DevilsPurity

other side of the comp screen,

#17

Mar 24, 2009 @ 23:51:28

@crankshaft Said

I got shed of her pretty fast.

lol I'm sure; I meant with anyone else too though.

0

bizgrad

,

#18

Mar 24, 2009 @ 23:53:30

As a teenager I was a victim of dating violence. I never did anything about other than breaking up and getting away.

Now I have found myself working within the court system. While many cases are dismissed there are still a good portion that are not. It sickens me to hear the testimony provided. There's many forms of violence like: Dating, Repeat, sexual and Domestic. If you are a victim do something about it. You may save someone else from being a victim.

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taffy

Pontypridd, United Kingdom

#19

Mar 24, 2009 @ 23:56:47

ive seen my sister go throu this when i was younger she left him in the end but unfortunetly they have a kid together so she can never be completely rid of him, wouldve loved to give him a couple of slaps back but i was just a kid at the time

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CaLyPsO

spankable deity

kent, United Kingdom

#20

Mar 24, 2009 @ 23:57:12

@bizgrad Said

As a teenager I was a victim of dating violence. I never did anything about other than breaking up and getting away.

Now I have found myself working within the court system. While many cases are dismissed there are still a good portion that are not. It sickens me to hear the testimony provided. There's many forms of violence like: Dating, Repeat, sexual and Domestic. If you are a victim do something about it. You may save someone else from being a victim.

i thought id got away but what can you do if they follow you but keep reporting them...and in all seriousness that has done me no favours...all he got was probation for a year.

0

bizgrad

,

#21

Mar 25, 2009 @ 00:03:06

@Calypso Said

i thought id got away but what can you do if they follow you but keep reporting them...and in all seriousness that has done me no favours...all he got was probation for a year.

Have you filed for an injunction? You may want to consider it. Domestic Violence is serious.

0

CaLyPsO

spankable deity

kent, United Kingdom

#22

Mar 25, 2009 @ 00:12:00

@bizgrad Said

Have you filed for an injunction? You may want to consider it. Domestic Violence is serious.

yes i did previously and it worked for a while but he just dosnt care for authority...i hit back once but was cautioned by the police for it..which to me was laughable because he was known to hit me

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bizgrad

,

#23

Mar 27, 2009 @ 00:00:24

You can never be to safe. No system is perfect. Laws do help.

0

HiImDan

Cleveland, the boil on the but

#24

Mar 27, 2009 @ 03:10:17

First off, my cousin was involved with a piece of garbage she thought she could change by marrying it. Nobody knew what was going on until she divorced it, it held a knife over their son and she figured she had enough. Her son was still a toddler at the time. She got her divorce and a restrianing order on the piece of garbage (I got the dog, poor thing was definitely abused).
Second, I had a friend named Tom who was telliing me about "this dog" who "attacked him". His wife was just laughing away while he kept showing me bruises and claw marks on various parts of his body where "this dog bit/scratched" him.

Turns out it was his wife who beat the crap out of him. Why? No reason, just felt like beating him. Evidently it was something he "just learned to live with". That marriage ended in divorce as well.

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bizgrad

,

#25

Mar 27, 2009 @ 15:19:33

I don't understand how some people can be so mean and why. If a person isn't happy in a relationship and that person makes you fighting mad-it's time to part ways no hurt feelings about it. If you love a person, you should love them enough to let them go. Why people feel they can abuse someone and then when they try to walk away they go after them and harm/kill that person before taking themselves out-I will never understand. I don't believe in suicide as a way out-but if someone's going to do it- take your own life not that of others.

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treebee

Government Hooker

Moderator

London, United Kingdom

#26

Mar 27, 2009 @ 16:16:29

I believe its about control. Some people can control others with words. Some people cannot be controlled with words alone so guilt and shame is used. Where that fails to work then physical force is used to control a partner.

Its a common mistake people make, we want to control the person we are in a relationship with.

Its also a common mistake to think that a person will change the whole time they are being allowed to continue controlling.

Once we have had time to be alone and question what went wrong and we can identify that trying to control a person is the problem and that we should let them be themselves and either love them for that or leave them, then all is good.

Unfortunately not everyone will learn this lesson because people will continue to tolerate bad behavior and actually reward it with love.

I have seen both men and women tell their partner not to do something and like a red rag to a bull the partner will go right out and do it and i have seen them fly across the room as a result of it and smack them in the face.

People need to take off blinkers and rose tinted glasses and see that the person they are with are actually no good for them and that they will never change their ways as long as they are being allowed to control them.

I believe its a childhood trait that some cannot drop.

1

Lillyanna

Deleted

Somewhere, United Kingdom

#27

Mar 27, 2009 @ 16:31:22

I was the victim of a violent domestic drunk for a pitiful 10 years...bastard...he threatened to kill my kids and put a pick axe in my face..set the house alight nearly and was mentally abusive in so many ways....tis manipulation and control...I called the cops on him twice.

He was caught for drink driving and had his licence taken away...but when he got it back (after having points added to it) he realised he could drive abroad...he was a native of South Africa

On the quiet he procured 4 credit cards with a credit limit of ?5,000 on each - maxed them out - stole cheques from my cheque book and emptied my bank account

Oh and he (with the help of my neighbour

) had the car shipped to South Africa

All under the guise of going to his brothers wedding....

I've not seen him since....thank god

0

Lillyanna

Deleted

Somewhere, United Kingdom

#28

Mar 27, 2009 @ 16:33:34

@treebee Said

I believe its about control. Some people can control others with words. Some people cannot be controlled with words alone so guilt and shame is used. Where that fails to work then physical force is used to control a partner.

Its a common mistake people make, we want to control the person we are in a relationship with.

Its also a common mistake to think that a person will change the whole time they are being allowed to continue controlling.

Once we have had time to be alone and question what went wrong and we can identify that trying to control a person is the problem and that we should let them be themselves and either love them for that or leave them, then all is good.

Unfortunately not everyone will learn this lesson because people will continue to tolerate bad behavior and actually reward it with love.

I have seen both men and women tell their partner not to do something and like a red rag to a bull the partner will go right out and do it and i have seen them fly across the room as a result of it and smack them in the face.

People need to take off blinkers and rose tinted glasses and see that the person they are with are actually no good for them and that they will never change their ways as long as they are being allowed to control them.

I believe its a childhood trait that some cannot drop.

Sorry treebee I don't agree that it's a childhood trait.....we choose to behave the way we do

0

treebee

Government Hooker

Moderator

London, United Kingdom

#29

Mar 27, 2009 @ 16:36:57

@Lillyanna Said

Sorry treebee I don't agree that it's a childhood trait.....we choose to behave the way we do

Let me explain it a little more then, a baby will scream for attention, its survival instinct, a child will lie to get what they want also. A child will smack another around the face if it disagrees with them. Some of us learn that this is not acceptable in adult life and some do not.

It may be a choice, some bullies never grow up because they happily go through life never being challenged.

I am certainly not defending them, what i am saying is they have a childhood trait that should have been dropped at puberty.

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Lillyanna

Deleted

Somewhere, United Kingdom

#30

Mar 27, 2009 @ 16:47:35

Mmmmmm still not sure I agree...bullying and control are close I think...but domestic violence often happens behind closed doors...when on the surface everything appears rosie

"Behind the painted smile"

Domestic Violence is a cycle where the perpetrator loses contol...can be for many reasons...to get there own way may be a lot of the time

And it's not always phisical...there are a lot out there that play mind games and apportion all the blame on the target

My son is doing a project on the very subject...there's a face book group somewhere..he is studying photography and he has chose this subject for his dissertation

He is taking photographs of survivors of domestic violence...he is home in a few weeks to take mine...I'm very proud of him

I think he forgets he too is a survivor

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