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deep thoughts (jokes)

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sourskittles On August 12, 2005




San Antonio, Texas
#1New Post! May 10, 2005 @ 07:32:17
If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while your ahead"?!


Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dogs face he gets mad at you but when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
sourskittles On August 12, 2005




San Antonio, Texas
#2New Post! May 10, 2005 @ 07:40:13
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
sourskittles On August 12, 2005




San Antonio, Texas
#3New Post! May 10, 2005 @ 07:40:41
I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, 'The whole time.'

So what's the speed of dark?

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
sourskittles On August 12, 2005




San Antonio, Texas
#4New Post! May 10, 2005 @ 07:41:17
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
misswonderful On July 03, 2006




Hampshire, United Kingdom
#5New Post! May 10, 2005 @ 12:45:52
shardsofwinter On September 23, 2008




Lost in the gray, Colorado
#6New Post! May 10, 2005 @ 21:21:16
Those are pretty good! I like that mime one!

-Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
-Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
-Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
-If a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the gum, or also for swallowing it?
-If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players?
-Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
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