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Wife is paranoid. I am faithful!

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arteest1969

Deleted

Dec 20, 2005 @ 17:28:04

What do you do when I wash dishes, do the laundry take care of my 2 stepsons 10 and 12, and our daughter 5, and stay home all the time unless I am at the library, and she still treats me like I am going out to the bars and cheating on her or something.She is very insecure!
Where do I go for some help?

cinnamin

houston, Texas

Dec 20, 2005 @ 17:31:20

@arteest1969 Said
What do you do when I wash dishes, do the laundry take care of my 2 stepsons 10 and 12, and our daughter 5, and stay home all the time unless I am at the library, and she still treats me like I am going out to the bars and cheating on her or something.She is very insecure!
Where do I go for some help?

Maybe you need to go to see some one that specializes in marrige problems.

AZcuriousm4U

Gilbert, Arizona

Dec 20, 2005 @ 17:33:48

A divorce attorney... and then get full custody of the kids. What a loser she is! Sorry, you are a model husband we other husbands hate... LOL. j/k Seriously, tell her you love her bi looking her straight in the eyes, holding her hands, and that you have no desire for anyone but her. If after that she doubts you, then ask her if she thinks she'll do better with someone else. She won't.

sweetrnsugar77

Deleted

My Apartment, Oregon

Dec 20, 2005 @ 17:34:46

Its really hard when a woman is insecure to convince her otherwise. Try not just staying home, but spending time with her. Watching tv while she is cooking doesnt really count. You need to be "together". Sitting in the same room, talking to each other.

Maybe if you do go out you should call her while youre out to tell her you miss her, or maybe take her along a few times so she sees you arent going out for the chicks.

silenthunder

Halliburton, Texas

Dec 20, 2005 @ 17:39:17

I think you answered your own question with the observation made in your last sentence. Loss is something feared by everybody. Sometimes our closest loved ones have difficulty in expressing love. If you react to this with anger, you maybe driving her fear home and making it much worse. It would help to know how long you have been married. You mention everything you do around the house, are you employed? Is your wife employed? Could your wife's jealousy be a mask for financial insecurity? Trust is very hard to earn sometimes. It would be helpful to know whether or not either of you have a previous relationship that was ended because of betrayal. The place that you should seek your answers is at home, but you must look at the entire situation without judging it, be objective. If you see something that you or she can do better, you are not powerless to change it...above all communicate your feelings to each other...good luck!!

cinnamin

houston, Texas

Dec 20, 2005 @ 17:41:31

@silenthunder Said
I think you answered your own question with the observation made in your last sentence. Loss is something feared by everybody. Sometimes our closest loved ones have difficulty in expressing love. If you react to this with anger, you maybe driving her fear home and making it much worse. It would help to know how long you have been married. You mention everything you do around the house, are you employed? Is your wife employed? Could your wife's jealousy be a mask for financial insecurity? Trust is very hard to earn sometimes. It would be helpful to know whether or not either of you have a previous relationship that was ended because of betrayal. The place that you should seek your answers is at home, but you must look at the entire situation without judging it, be objective. If you see something that you or she can do better, you are not powerless to change it...above all communicate your feelings to each other...good luck!!

Yeah, what he said

reiko

Deleted

New York, New York

Dec 20, 2005 @ 18:35:20

You need to sit down and have a serious talk with her about. Explain to her that this can't continue. You are supposed to have trust in a relationship.

tlynn

Mordor, Canada

Dec 20, 2005 @ 20:02:56

Well if you ever cheated in the past you'll just have to put up with it or leave. I am of the opinion that once that trust is broken you can never go back. No matter how much people profess they can forgive I just don't believe it is in human nature.

Now if you have never cheated...then you have a big problem!

Either way you should seek professional help if for no other reason than the children and please dont every argue in front of them.

xxalleycatxx

Gainesville, Georgia

Dec 20, 2005 @ 20:07:39

well have you ever done something to make her believe that? If you have cheated in the past or was caught "almost" cheating, then its something that you will have to deal with or leave. Because well, that is your own problem that you created.

If you haven't then i would go see a therapist for couples or marriages. Let her talk to someone and tell them why she feels or acts the way she does. You will prolly get a lot of answers that way. She will most likely tell the therapist why than just you.

Good Luck.

tlynn

Mordor, Canada

#10

Dec 20, 2005 @ 20:08:45

Haha...see!! 2 girls can't be wrong

ann

Deleted

london, United Kingdom

#11

Dec 20, 2005 @ 22:24:18

Aww! you poor thing you sound like Cinderella and she's the wiked witch.

WildChild

Perv Magnet

Southern Middle, Tennessee

#12

Dec 21, 2005 @ 03:05:47

If you give her your love , your heart and your soul then theres not much more you can do. Raising her to children speaks volumes for you. Maybe she's just insecure and it could have nothing at all to do with you. Some people just live their whole life being insecure and believing that no one could possible be faithful to them. Sad but true. Just try to let her know daily that you love her very much and if you are fatihful to her then don't beat yourself up over it, it's most likely a problem of her own rather than a problem with you.

justvr

, Wallis and Futuna

#13

Dec 21, 2005 @ 03:09:40

@arteest1969 Said
What do you do when I wash dishes, do the laundry take care of my 2
stepsons 10 and 12, and our daughter 5, and stay home all the time unless I am at the
library, and she still treats me like I am going out to the bars and cheating on her or
something.She is very insecure!
Where do I go for some help?

Do you have a job, or are you the house parent?

arteest1969

Deleted

#14

Dec 28, 2005 @ 00:10:01

Thanks for the comments people. I have had some of the same thoughts too. My family says I am doing the right thing. But man it is hard to stay with her and put up with it.
If I had another place to go to I think I would just take my daughter and leave. What an insecure nut!

sweetrnsugar77

Deleted

My Apartment, Oregon

#15

Dec 28, 2005 @ 00:14:49

Well its really hard to be in a place of insecurity and not know a way out. A little family therapy wouldnt hurt. Or having her/or your fam talk about how wonderful you are to her....so she hears it reinforced in her mind. She may want to believe you but not know how.

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