Why African American predominated groups are ok...

@iwannano Said

I have seen where you have said that you showed some of your white friends some of the posts in TFS racism forums and they
".they were stunned at the level of disrespect.....and lack of knowledge about blacks" (direct quote)
I have a friend that I have known for several years , we first met as co workers . As a matter of fact she was the first black person I had ever been in contact with in my life. No, we don't dine or dance or drive or play or whatever together. We worked together for close to 3 years , she has been to my home and sat down to my table and had dinner with my family a few times and I have sat at her mothers table and had dinner with her family a few times. She married and moved out of state a few years ago and so the only contact we have now is emails and phone calls.
With that said , I decided to see what she felt about some of the posts in the TFS racism forums . So I sent her a link to the forums. She lurked for a few hours last nite . Now, there are somethings that just not acceptable for a person of one race to say to a person of another race . While IMing with her about her 'take' on the forums she used words like ' self hate' and 'denial' when talking about a few of the posts . She also pointed out that when a person has become convinced that where they are in life today is the fault of something or someone else's problems or actions whether it be in the past (resent or long gone) there just isn't much anyone else can do or say that will change anything. She told me of a few experiences she had as a black kid growing up in a Spanish speaking neighbor hood and some that happened when as a young teenager she went looking for a part time job . She experienced some pretty ugly racism from both the Spanish people and whites , let me tell you from what she said it's a hard spot to be in when your one of about a dozen black kids in a school of over 3000 kids and the 'accepted' minority is Spanish and Native American. She was discriminated against by some people on all sides . She also told about the people that paid no attention to her skin and treated her as a person . She said looking back there were more that treated her as a person then ones that seen only the color of her skin. I re framed from pointing out any one member or any one thread when I sent her the link . and I did not ask her for 'details' afterwards. I did tell her my user name . She ask me to please mention that there is no one posting on these forums that can say they know a **** thing about how she as a black woman thinks or feels , that the only person anyone can truthfully say they know anything about is themselves.

@Spinkiegirl Said

I'am not real sure I get what you are saying here.....I can only comment on my life experiences.....

@Spinkiegirl Said

Where I am in my life today....is a direct result of my loving black father and white mother....who instilled in their children, honor,respect,resposibility, good work ethics,tolerance,goals,community and so on.....I don't know what you think of me.....but I have a history of slaves and slave owners in my family....and yet I turned out just fine.....I have a great job, a pretty good car, a home that's almost paid for, friends that I adore...and a strong family I can depend on for anything.....I got where I am today by shear HARD WORK......nothing else!

Quote:
She also pointed out that when a person has become convinced that where they are in life today is the fault of something or someone Else's problems or actions whether it be in the past (resent or long gone) there just isn't much anyone else can do or say that will change anything.

@iwannano Said

When a person has just thier personal experiences to form thier thoughts and opinions about a 'topic' ,if they don't go out and talk with lot's others of the same background or race or belief's in different areas of a country that have experienced 'life' because of their backgrounds or race or belief's . That person is not qualified to debate what others may or may not think or feel on a 'topic'. That person is able to share thier experiences with others in discussions . That person can give a personal opinion and the reasons behind that opinion . But to try and debate a 'topic' against someones personal opinions is impossible .If a person enters into a debate with documented information about how certain groups think or feel about a 'topic' . Or has documented info from about the history of a 'topic' .Then the reasons behind the topic's history , the ways taken to stop or continue the 'topic' . The rights or wrongs of stopping or continuing the 'topic' can be debated.

@iwannano Said

Good, I'm glad to hear this.
Out of all my friend had to say about what is posted in the forums and her opinions of black people in general ,I find it strange that the one statement that was directed towards some people is the one that you took personal and choose to reply to.
A quote from a post by me of something a friend said

@Spinkiegirl Said

Well, I can only say, you and your friend have a very WRONG idea of who I am and how I feel, and that's my fault because my passion for this subject clouds my thinking sometimes, forgive, i'am working on it! .....but it's all good....i'am not here to impress anyone.....and for the record, I don't blame anyone for anything bad that has happened in the past...it is what it is......i'am a product of loving home!

@Spinkiegirl Said

I'am both white and black...surly with my diverse background....I can discuss this 'topic' with authority and knowledge!

@iwannano Said

I am both German and Irish. I can speak with authority and knowledge
about what it's like to live as a German / Irish person in the place I live. I am not qualified to debate with others about what a Irish immigrant had to survive and deal with back when they were viewed and treated as less than a good black slave by society. I cannot tell any one else how they thought or what they felt . I can not forgive society of the 1700 and 1800's for treating my great grandparents in the way they were treated . Forgiving England's king and the American society for what happened to my grandparents is moot . Not only is it a waste of my time and energy but the people alive back then that was doing the wrong wouldn't care less nor even want forgiveness for thier actions. I can share what I have learned from my elders about what my great grandparents went though to survive as Irish back then starving to death when the English king had them turned out off thier land and made to live with out shelter or food , watching thier loved ones die of hunger during the potato famine etc... But I cannot debate these topics because I have not studied the history extensively nor did I live during those times.

@Spinkiegirl Said

That's really funny cause I was married to a German for 5yrs. and now i'am dating an Irishman..... Anyway...I just wanted to say that maybe you don't want to forgive them...and that's fine....but I have found that forgiveness is for you, not the wrong that was done......it works for me anyway.....you seem like a very wise person...and I do enjoy your post.....let's me see another side of the coin if you know what I mean.....try the forgiveness thing.....it might make you feel better.....all the best to you!!

@Spinkiegirl Said

and you did in fact misquote me.....I went back and read what I posted!

@Spinkiegirl Said

Well.....what I guess I was trying to say is.......what would you say if a person was telling you a story about a loved one that was killed in the 9/11 terrorist attacks......if it were me, and someone told me that they lost a loved on 9//11......and knowing that I had NOTHING to do with their lost.....I would simply say "oh i'am deeply sorry for your loss and pain." I know maybe more than 1500 blacks......and i've interacted with at least that many.....i'am half black myself.....so I can say with great understanding and knowledge........89% of blacks in America, could careless about whites telling them they are 'sorry' for slavery.......they care about being understood and more IMPORTANTLY.....EQUALITY!!!!! I ask you.....even if a white person did say they were sorry for slavery....what would it hurt?

@ThePash Said

The problem is is that minorities want equality but they set themselves aside purposefully in order to maintain their culture and heritage. They cannot expect the majority to embrace their culture nor do they want them to. What we have here is a silent civil war, unfortunately one side is using weapons of the past and the other side keeps trying to ignore it exists in the hopes that it will go away. I honestly don't think slavery is an issue as much as it is an excuse to keep things separated. But why? We are all different and we are all the same. I have friends that listen to country,rap and many other genres of music whereas I listen to metal and industrial, etc. that does not mean we are not still friends, we just learn to accept the differences and focus on the similarities. Why can we not do that as a nation and as a world? Because we are all to scared that we may lose something of our own nature, we may be altered in some way. The fact is with every new person we meet, every in depth conversation we have we are altered in some way.
I don't think separate groups are wrong, as long as everyone can have them. You can not have preferential treatment and equality at the same time..it just cannot work.
To every race, creed, faction, religion, etc.....Make up your mind what you REALLY want and then take action. I would suggest starting by shaking the hand of your neighbours.

@ThePash Said

The problem is is that minorities want equality but they set themselves aside purposefully in order to maintain their culture and heritage. They cannot expect the majority to embrace their culture nor do they want them to. What we have here is a silent civil war, unfortunately one side is using weapons of the past and the other side keeps trying to ignore it exists in the hopes that it will go away. I honestly don't think slavery is an issue as much as it is an excuse to keep things separated. But why? We are all different and we are all the same. I have friends that listen to country,rap and many other genres of music whereas I listen to metal and industrial, etc. that does not mean we are not still friends, we just learn to accept the differences and focus on the similarities. Why can we not do that as a nation and as a world? Because we are all to scared that we may lose something of our own nature, we may be altered in some way. The fact is with every new person we meet, every in depth conversation we have we are altered in some way.
I don't think separate groups are wrong, as long as everyone can have them. You can not have preferential treatment and equality at the same time..it just cannot work.
To every race, creed, faction, religion, etc.....Make up your mind what you REALLY want and then take action. I would suggest starting by shaking the hand of your neighbours.

@shinobinoz Said

I agree with much of this.
There remains however some "preferencial treatment" better stated an more true as affirmative action (and no though they may not be entirely unrelated- they are quite different)
Stating "preferencial treatment" demeans the attempt to insure equality and tells the reader a bit about where another "chip on the shoulder" is lurking.
Equality is not yet here. When it finally does arrive, then, and only then will the need for affirmative action to drop off.

Soon I hope. Very soon.