What's best...the stay at home mum or the career mum?

Or is it neither...and is it really just the quality of care the kids get from decent parents?

What do you think? What is best for the kids?

Doesn't matter.

No child has been f***ed up over having 2 working parents.

You do what you gotta do to put the roof over their head, food on the table, and clothes on their backs.

And if the kid grows up with some kind of resentment, they're ingrates.

If someone has an issue with you supporting your family, f*** them.
Not everyone is in a position to have only one income in a two parent family.

Doesn't really matter I don't think, when I have a baby I want to carry on with my career after a while though, guess it's just personal choices and decisions.

Most kids are f***ed up in this day and age, IMO. Parents are putting them on anti-depressants and then leaving the kids in front of the TV to take care of them. Because the parents are living beyond their means, in debt up to there eye balls and then never spend time together as a family.

And if they can not afford to have one parent stay at home, maybe they should not be having kids?

So in your humble opinion what does f*** kids up?

I agree, but that has nothing to do with working parents.
If anything, that means more parents are starting to work.



Why?
I'd rather my two parents work and have two incomes so we can have a better life and I get more stuff.

I never had a stay at home parent, and I didn't care. I turned out fine.

The f***in kids go to school @ 4 anyway, by the time they even care whether they're parents are around or not, they're out for 6 hours a day.
Time a parent can spend earing a little more money to put towards anything. College, bills, ect.

Parents who just don't give a s***.

You can work 40 hours a week and be a terrific parent.
You can still have time to take them places, clean, do whatever.
People have been doing it for decades.

Fair enough

more stuff.... tsk, tsk, tsk
who judges if you are fine or not?

one solution does not fit all families, but i feel it is better to have a strong family bond than the latest video game

i wanted for my kids what i had.
my dad worked, my mom stayed home.
not sure i should have done that.
i turned out a mess.

When i was young there was only me and my mum, she worked full time so i only got to see her for an hour or so before bed and every other weekend.

When i was 12 she got remarried and had my brother. Because my stepdad had a good job she was able to stop work, she was always around when i got back from school, and look after my brother. Now she works part time so she picks my brother up from school, and can cook family meals and we all get more time together.

I know when i have kids i want to stop work until they are in school. I personally think its better for the whole family.

Indeed.

Actually, what I hear about more are parents who stay home, but the house is messy as hell, they don't do anything for the kids, they just stay home cuz they're lazy.

If you stay home, you need to be busting your a** at home making it more than perfect for your family. Whether it's cleaning, errands, or taking care of small children.
That's your job as a stay @ home parent. It's not a freebie to sit around and chill all day.

What I was thinking about doing (seeing as I would like to be a homemaker) was getting my teaching degree,
having kids,
staying home until my kids were of school age,
then working as a teacher during the school year (I'd then have off when my kids were off school),
and working from home duing the summers when I have off. I can sell Avon or soemthing.

However, if that isn't possible (say I become widowed or divorced or we just can't afford that), I'll just teach.
Either w3ay, I'll be home when they're off school.

Both my parents worked and I'm VERY close to both of them. So I find that kinda insulting...

Some people work not to get their kids video games, but to pay for basic necessities. Not everyone makes enough to have just one income in a 2 parent family.
You got mortgages (or rent), car payments, car insurance, health insurance, property taxes, phone bills, gas and elecric bills, pet hospital bills, water bills, grocery bills, and many other payments.

That's a lot for one person to take on, yeah it can be done (my mom is doing that right now). But it's hard, stressful, and anyone will tell you it makes life easier having more than one income.

Yeah, if one parents makes a hefty salary then cool.

But you know what?
Not everyone WANTS to stay home.

When I was very small, my mom stayed home and she couldn't stand it. She was very isolated, lonely, and bored. She WANTED a job. Not that we needed the income necessarily (it did help) but she wanted to get out of the house.

I can't blame her.

Fair enough, but not everyone wants to stay home, A. And B, not every family wih two working parents are distant from their kids. Plenty of two income homes have family dinners nightly, game night, vacations, ect.

Personally, I like having the house to myself when I get home. I get down time and I can play my music loud to zone out.

Sounds like the perfect setup

I agree with most of your comments, but I will add that I think that is important for the stay at home parent not do'everything' for the children or make things'more than perfect' cause that's really not setting up a realistic ideal IMO.

Kids need to be involved with helping with housework and that seeing that sometimes your mum will be able to take the time to do all that cleaning, washing etc and other times when that baby is not settling she'll be lucky to have a shower and brush her teeth.

Life is messy and kids need to know how to adapt.