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Should I apologize?
I believe So
Nah. It's done with
I don't know
Leave the Country
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Cpat92 On about 7 hours ago
Why So Serious??





Lauderhill, Florida
#1New Post! Feb 05, 2019 @ 19:13:03
So, I may have touched up on this a while ago, but back in 2017 after my grandfather passed away, my "cousin" pressed charges against me and my younger brother after our rough altercation. The police called us as soon as we got to Virginia and asked to speak to us. Once I got home and my dad found out, he told me to apologize to my cousin (which I didn't do and refuse to do) and speak to the law enforcement concerning the situation. I reached out to the cops and they never replied. Fast forward almost a full 2 years later, my dad still wants me to make amends. He's more afraid that my 'image' within the family may be tarnished. He's more worried that I may get arrested for what happened back then.

Personally, I feel like what's done is done. I could care less about how my family would feel about me. The only ones I need by my side is my immediate family (my brothers, my sisters and my parents). I also feel like, if the cops in New Jersey wanted to arrest me, they would have done so already. While I could be wrong, I am positive, I will not have any regrets if anything happens. I have no remorse. I don't believe I can still potentially be arrested either. My father is worried and I know if I apologize for his sake, it won't be genuine at all.

Anyway, should I apologize, or let it die?
Erimitus 4 minutes ago




The mind of God, Antarctica
#2New Post! Feb 05, 2019 @ 20:06:38
@Cpat92 Said

So, I may have touched up on this a while ago, but back in 2017 after my grandfather passed away, my "cousin" pressed charges against me and my younger brother after our rough altercation. The police called us as soon as we got to Virginia and asked to speak to us. Once I got home and my dad found out, he told me to apologize to my cousin (which I didn't do and refuse to do) and speak to the law enforcement concerning the situation. I reached out to the cops and they never replied. Fast forward almost a full 2 years later, my dad still wants me to make amends. He's more afraid that my 'image' within the family may be tarnished. He's more worried that I may get arrested for what happened back then.

Personally, I feel like what's done is done. I could care less about how my family would feel about me. The only ones I need by my side is my immediate family (my brothers, my sisters and my parents). I also feel like, if the cops in New Jersey wanted to arrest me, they would have done so already. While I could be wrong, I am positive, I will not have any regrets if anything happens. I have no remorse. I don't believe I can still potentially be arrested either. My father is worried and I know if I apologize for his sake, it won't be genuine at all.

Anyway, should I apologize, or let it die?


what was the fight about?

Point of interest (at least to me) Many people do not know how to mourn. When they lose someone they love they mistake the strong feelings of grief they have for anger. Then they direct that anger at someone. Maybe you were both feeling grief and you unloaded on eachother. This happens a lot. Forgive him; if he apologizes to you tell him you understand and that there are no hard feelings.
Cpat92 On about 7 hours ago
Why So Serious??





Lauderhill, Florida
#3New Post! Feb 09, 2019 @ 06:25:19
Negative. We weren't both grieving. I'm related to him through my mother. This is my father's dad. I can admit that I was quite emotional. HIs actions was fuel to the fire. I would have left him alone, but he pushed me to the edge. He wasn't grieving at all. How can I forgive, if he refuses to apologize.
Erimitus 4 minutes ago




The mind of God, Antarctica
#4New Post! Feb 09, 2019 @ 07:19:30
If you were both grieving and did not know how to an altercation was an inevitability.

you used eachother as a vent for your emotions.

Do you even know what the fight was about?

Anger, as you probably know, is deadly. let go of it.
Cpat92 On about 7 hours ago
Why So Serious??





Lauderhill, Florida
#5New Post! Feb 09, 2019 @ 07:44:31
@Erimitus Said

If you were both grieving and did not know how to an altercation was an inevitability.

you used eachother as a vent for your emotions.

Do you even know what the fight was about?

Anger, as you probably know, is deadly. let go of it.



I already told you only I was grieving. There is no if. He tried to cyber bully my younger brother, attacked us on social media and cut all contact when we wanted to confront him. To top it off, he threatened my mother.
Erimitus 4 minutes ago




The mind of God, Antarctica
#6New Post! Feb 09, 2019 @ 14:19:18
@Cpat92 Said

I already told you only I was grieving. There is no if. He tried to cyber bully my younger brother, attacked us on social media and cut all contact when we wanted to confront him. To top it off, he threatened my mother.



You instigated the fight?
mrmhead On 44 minutes ago




NE, Ohio
#7New Post! Feb 09, 2019 @ 21:11:11
Let it go ...

You can pick your friends.
And you can pick your nose.

but you can't pick your friend's nose,

or your family.
Erimitus 4 minutes ago




The mind of God, Antarctica
#8New Post! Feb 10, 2019 @ 09:06:06
There is no sense in apologizing. WE can always explain what we did. WE have no right to expect anybody to accept anything we do. Ultimately there is no defence for any of our actions.
gakINGKONG On 55 minutes ago




Lutz, Florida
#9New Post! Feb 10, 2019 @ 15:18:59
The only reason I voted leave the country is because. That’s just a really good thing to do and doesn’t really make a difference either way on how close you are to family. Sometimes family will forgive you even if you never say sorry. That’s a love song from the 1970s
darkman666 1 minutes ago




Saint Louis, Missouri
#10New Post! Feb 10, 2019 @ 16:11:08
pat- I think hire a lawyer just see if there is a warrant out for you, and get some legal advices, and then see what your opinions are.
Cpat92 On about 7 hours ago
Why So Serious??





Lauderhill, Florida
#11New Post! Feb 11, 2019 @ 08:47:26
@Erimitus Said

You instigated the fight?



No.
Eaglebauer On 32 minutes ago
FOSSOR SAPIENS

Moderator




Saint Louis, Missouri
#12New Post! Feb 11, 2019 @ 13:41:32
I don't remember the original incident...I assume things got physical between you two? And this happened in New Jersey?

You don't have to worry about being arrested, even if it was physical, as long as you didn't cause him grievous bodily harm or something else that would have made it a felony.

First, in New Jersey, the statute of limitations for misdemeanors is one year. If you didn't cause him serious physical injury (like put him in a hospital or cause him harm to the point where his life was actually in danger), New Jersey considers it simple assault which is a "disorderly persons offense," which means a misdemeanor.

Second, even if there wasn't a breach of statute of limitations and there was a warrant out for your arrest (which at this point, I'm sure there isn't), if it was for a misdemeanor they aren't going to extradite from out of state. Basically, if you have misdemeanor warrant, it's HIGHLY unlikely and extremely out of the ordinary for any police department to bring you in on it unless they catch you or another police department catches you within 50 or so miles of the venue where the warrant was issued. It usually is just seen as not worth the time and money to transport someone that far for something and hold them for that long unless it's a more serious charge.

That's all kind of a moot point though because like I said, I'm pretty positive you don't have a warrant anywhere.

Bottom line...as far as being arrested goes, I can almost guarantee you can put your mind to rest about that.

As far as apologizing to your cousin and making amends...that's only for you to decide. Not your family, not your friends..you. You need to weight out if it's more important to you to stand on whatever principle is keeping you from extending the olive branch or if it's more important to compromise for the sake of peace in your family. Maybe you should talk to your father more and try to get him or someone else to see if your cousin will make the first move toward amends?
Erimitus 4 minutes ago




The mind of God, Antarctica
#13New Post! Feb 11, 2019 @ 17:21:36
@Eaglebauer Said

I don't remember the original incident...I assume things got physical between you two? And this happened in New Jersey?

You don't have to worry about being arrested, even if it was physical, as long as you didn't cause him grievous bodily harm or something else that would have made it a felony.

First, in New Jersey, the statute of limitations for misdemeanors is one year. If you didn't cause him serious physical injury (like put him in a hospital or cause him harm to the point where his life was actually in danger), New Jersey considers it simple assault which is a "disorderly persons offense," which means a misdemeanor.

Second, even if there wasn't a breach of statute of limitations and there was a warrant out for your arrest (which at this point, I'm sure there isn't), if it was for a misdemeanor they aren't going to extradite from out of state. Basically, if you have misdemeanor warrant, it's HIGHLY unlikely and extremely out of the ordinary for any police department to bring you in on it unless they catch you or another police department catches you within 50 or so miles of the venue where the warrant was issued. It usually is just seen as not worth the time and money to transport someone that far for something and hold them for that long unless it's a more serious charge.

That's all kind of a moot point though because like I said, I'm pretty positive you don't have a warrant anywhere.

Bottom line...as far as being arrested goes, I can almost guarantee you can put your mind to rest about that.

As far as apologizing to your cousin and making amends...that's only for you to decide. Not your family, not your friends..you. You need to weight out if it's more important to you to stand on whatever principle is keeping you from extending the olive branch or if it's more important to compromise for the sake of peace in your family. Maybe you should talk to your father more and try to get him or someone else to see if your cousin will make the first move toward amends?



Good post
DiscordTiger On about 8 hours ago
The Queen of Random

Administrator




Emerald City, United States (g
#14New Post! Feb 11, 2019 @ 20:22:04
@Eaglebauer Said

I don't remember the original incident...I assume things got physical between you two? And this happened in New Jersey?

You don't have to worry about being arrested, even if it was physical, as long as you didn't cause him grievous bodily harm or something else that would have made it a felony.

First, in New Jersey, the statute of limitations for misdemeanors is one year. If you didn't cause him serious physical injury (like put him in a hospital or cause him harm to the point where his life was actually in danger), New Jersey considers it simple assault which is a "disorderly persons offense," which means a misdemeanor.

Second, even if there wasn't a breach of statute of limitations and there was a warrant out for your arrest (which at this point, I'm sure there isn't), if it was for a misdemeanor they aren't going to extradite from out of state. Basically, if you have misdemeanor warrant, it's HIGHLY unlikely and extremely out of the ordinary for any police department to bring you in on it unless they catch you or another police department catches you within 50 or so miles of the venue where the warrant was issued. It usually is just seen as not worth the time and money to transport someone that far for something and hold them for that long unless it's a more serious charge.

That's all kind of a moot point though because like I said, I'm pretty positive you don't have a warrant anywhere.

Bottom line...as far as being arrested goes, I can almost guarantee you can put your mind to rest about that.

As far as apologizing to your cousin and making amends...that's only for you to decide. Not your family, not your friends..you. You need to weight out if it's more important to you to stand on whatever principle is keeping you from extending the olive branch or if it's more important to compromise for the sake of peace in your family. Maybe you should talk to your father more and try to get him or someone else to see if your cousin will make the first move toward amends?


Wait, I thought "everything is legal in New Jersey"?

(Hamilton reference, because not everyone else quotes from it on the daily.)
Cpat92 On about 7 hours ago
Why So Serious??





Lauderhill, Florida
#15New Post! Feb 13, 2019 @ 06:14:27
Got an update. Kind of. My friend (who's dad is the Bishop, who also told my cousin to call the police) (who is in law enforcement) assured my mom that it's unlikely there's anything out for me. Neptune PD isn't going to go all out for a family situation like this. They don't try to get involved. I'm hoping she tells my dad so he can relax. My older brother didn't like the fact that apologizing and talks about police possibly looking for me was brought to my attention.
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