Verbal abuse and Emotional Manipulation

@floYdgIrrl Said

You need to get help and try to remove yourself from the person/people doing this to you. It's not right and do what you can to get out.

@Jennifer1984 Said

Verbal abuse is anything the receiver personally considers it to be. Negative comments about the content of my posts are fair game, in my opinion. I don't ask that anybody agrees with what I say... in fact, I welcome challenges to my posts provided they are based on the content of the message.

But there are those who seem to think that calling me offensive names is somehow debunking my argument. How ridiculous..!!

I freely admit that I have, at times, acted inappropriately. But I have recognised this fault in myself and am overcoming it. I think we all get upset at times, and say or do things we shouldn't. But these are usually isolated incidents, quickly resolved.

When I see negative comments I look to see who they are coming from. Mostly, negative remarks are one-offs and as such can be shrugged off. Somebody not quite getting the message.... having a bad day... taking personal offence themselves, even. It happens, and mostly I roll with it.

But when it becomes part of a systematic campaign of bullying....attempted intimidation.... an attempt to silence my voice... then that is simply not right.

There are individuals on here who completely lose all reason and objectivity over any issue. Theirs is the abuse of vitriol... anger... loss of self control. They no longer see a message, they simply see every post by the person against whom they hold their grudge as an opportunity to vent their own rage.

I think perhaps they have feelings of inadequacy to cope with criticism. They would like to stop somebody from speaking, but they can't. They would like to be able to remove somebody from the site, but they can't. For all practical purposes, they are totally impotent and therefore they lash out with the only weapon they have. Personal abuse.

Yes, it does irritate me, I admit that. It irritates me, not because they have physically or mentally hurt me in any way, but because they are deflecting discussion away from the subject at hand.

I come here to discuss issues.... that's what the site is for, for goodness sake..!! I don't ask that anyone agrees with me, but I do expect my right to express my opinions.... whatever they may be.... to be respected.

The abusers' kind of thread disruption is something that goes beyond mere abuse of an individual, it is an abuse of the privilege of free speech. On every occasion that such a person does this, he subtly denies everybody their right to discuss the issue at hand, turning it instead into a case of "Everybody look at ME".... "It's all about ME ME ME".... "Me and my anger".... "Me and my inability to cope with the discussion".

I do feel that the moderators and owners of this site don't do enough to eliminate this kind of rage. Personal abuse is against TOS and yet, those responsible for monitoring the behaviour of offenders don't do enough to stop it.

I agree there has to be a level of tolerance.... We are all human and can all get annoyed occasionally. We all react inappropriately at times, but there are some who go too far and yet, seem to get away with it.

In my opinion, the failure of the owners and moderators to respond to excessive anger, intensely targeted at a specific individual over a prolonged period of time is a dereliction of duty to those who only wish to discuss issues..... regardless of what those issues may be, or in respect of whomsoever's country the issues are raised.

As I said earlier.... we all get kranky sometimes and we all say things in the heat of the moment. But overwhelmingly, these are isolated incidents and are usually quickly resolved through reason and common sense between the individuals concerned.

But when it goes too far, then the owners and moderators have a duty to act.

I call upon them to do so.

@howmuchisthatdoggie Said

Is it "verbal" if it's over the internet.?? Maybe that would be "textual assault" {boom-boom}

@Erimitus Said

Why do some people call other people offensive names?

@sister_of_mercy Said

I think it's only abuse if you let it get to you. If you don't then it's just words. I find it more amusing than anything, what annoys people even more is to stay calm and composed. It shows that what they're doing is useless and will only make them more annoyed(which again is amusing as it's showing that the angry kind of behaviour doesn't work as it reflects onto them).

@Mysteria Said

I agree with you to an extent.

This has been going on for decades, though, and I can no longer tolerate it.

@sister_of_mercy Said

I think it's only abuse if you let it get to you. If you don't then it's just words. I find it more amusing than anything, what annoys people even more is to stay calm and composed. It shows that what they're doing is useless and will only make them more annoyed(which again is amusing as it's showing that the angry kind of behaviour doesn't work as it reflects onto them).

@Mysteria Said

I agree with you to an extent.

This has been going on for decades, though, and I can no longer tolerate it.

@sister_of_mercy Said

I think it's only abuse if you let it get to you. If you don't then it's just words. I find it more amusing than anything, what annoys people even more is to stay calm and composed. It shows that what they're doing is useless and will only make them more annoyed(which again is amusing as it's showing that the angry kind of behaviour doesn't work as it reflects onto them).

Quote:
Laughing at these people and/or remaining silent isn't productive in this situation.

@Mysteria Said



You're plenty smart, but you ain't got any common sense.

@Mysteria Said

Ah, the block feature is wonderful.

Here is an example of something that was said to me recently when I made a mistake. If you heard this from a parent or someone you adore, would it bother you?

"I just don't understand it, (insert name here). I've always been strong. I get down for a couple of days but I'm not weak. I bounce back pretty quick.

You're plenty smart, but you ain't got any common sense. It's like these educated idiots who've got several college degrees. That old boy I just got off the phone with doesn't know a thing about what he's talkin' about." *laughter*

(He uses lots of slang.)

Then you comment about what your plans are for the future, i.e. studying psychology, for instance, to HELP people. The response is, "You just have a negative attitude ALL the time. That's your problem." (This all sounds negative to me. Correct me if you feel that that is the way any person should be talked to whether they just made a mistake and were upset about it or not.)

You ask, "How is doing something to HELP people considered 'negative'?" followed by, "Your car is too old to drive back and forth and you can't afford the gas."

You say, "Yes, but I can take some of the courses online."

Loved one says, "Well, that might be okay. You just need to go to church."

I don't know why but I found that last statement funny when I typed it. It wasn't funny at the time. I was feeling very bad.

Just reading the conversation doesn't impact me that much. I was in shock after it was over with, though. This is only the tip of the iceberg.

I feel that anyone who resorts to those kind of insults is insecure and is trying to belittle someone in order to maintain control over their life and how they feel about themselves. It might not mean a thing as far as he's concerned. I think some people don't think they're causing harm when they aren't calling someone names and/or yelling. How can you tell someone you love them and then say they're weak, negative, and have no common sense? Who needs to hear those things? Really?

@someone_else Said

That would really, really bother me. Especially if it was after I just made a little mistake. Or, did something wrong that only seems like common sense because it's something they're exposed to all the time, but you aren't.

There is no reason to belittle someone over something that they didn't know.