Ultimatums

So many of you know about the girl I told you about. The one who automatically confided in me after breaking up with her boyfriend. We talk a bit more now. I think we are slowly leaving the acquaintance level and becoming friends. One of my friends however, wants me to stay away because he believes that she will “use me.” In a ignorant rant, this guy told me she won’t EVER be interested in me because I’m not rich and I don’t drive an expensive car like a Maserati (her ex drives a busted up pick up truck. Her and I each have way better cars). I feel he is being insecure, but he claims I am following the typical Lance Corporal route, which ends in getting a car for 30% apr and all this other bulls***. He was divorced while active duty, so I think that’s one problem. We had another argument over her because his opinion is still the same. I wanted to tell him the progress we made. I don’t think I would ever bring her up to him again. On top of that, this man had the nerve to tell me I’m risking our friendship over her. I told him his assumptions is what is making it worse and calling her a hoe and all this when he clearly doesn’t know her. So far, she’s pretty cool. Due to his ignorance, he may never know that. I don’t have feelings for her. I admitted that she interests me, but not in the way it would be if I were to fall for someone.

He gave me an ultimatum stating I choose either, “a chick that uses you to feel better about herself and her bf baggage, or a fellow Marine who’s been there for you even through all the drama good and bad.”

Well that sucks.

I’ve never taken well to being given ultimatums. Like it never goes well for the person giving it. I mean I’m not going to do anything to f*** myself over just to get them, but I have lost a lot of respect for people and basically cut ties cause I don’t play those games.

Not saying you need to do that, just that I know it’s a really s***ty situation to be put in.

I really don’t understand why I gotta go through this. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him what happened when she told me everything. He probably took it the wrong way, especially when I said she interests me.

Is this the same guy that's trying to drag you back into the service?

Maybe he's jealous.

worst case scenario :

it is walk away from the both of them. you seem to be over your head. you shouldn't be this position. being their friends, to choice one or other that would a friend has to point.

if you choice one or other, you lose friend and keep a friend. it is possible that eventually, they will walking away from each others or get back together.

you have to decide do want to be in the middle?

Seems to me like this guy either dated her before, wants to date her himself, and/or is jealous or your relationship... unless he has very specific verifiable information about this woman trashing another man.

In any case, short of situations involving things drug addiction or alcoholism that are destroying family & friends, real friends do not give friends ultimatums.

It’s the same exact guy.




He facebook stalked her. He’s judging her based off of her pictures on social media. He doesn’t even know her. He’s been married in the past and divorced.

I must say that I very much feel like delivering an ultimatum today!!! Chaski said "real friends do not give friends ultimatums" BUT real friends do not put someone in a position that would make another person want/need to give them one!!! Had no sleep feeling like crap also!!

Who you date is your business, not your “friend’s”.

In this instance I am talking about who I am dating!!

Don't most relationships have some stipulatory constraints?

If you don’t stop dating that person, I will stop being your friend!!!😡

Yeah ultimatums are just plain silly. Chances are if he's keen on you heading back to military service he clearly see this threatened by your new friend even though you were keen in the first place. He will see this as a new hurdle hence why he's thrown his toys out the pram.

On one side he could be thinking he's looking out for you and if he is clouded by previous relationships he might be thinking he's doing you a solid by saying this girl is no good.

I'd let both situations play out, perhaps not confiding in him as much in the interim, might just be a storm in the teacup

Not funny!!!

I'm warning you!