You guys think you've got things bad over there...? You've got trump. That's bad. Waddya think of this then......
I have culled this from Hansard (the daily verbatim record of the proceedings of the House of Commons). It's an exchange that took place on Wednesday between MP's and Mr Jacob Rees-Mogg (Conservative), Official Title: Leader of the House of Commons. More risibly known by the people however, as the Minister for the Nineteenth Century. The following exchange will explain why:
Selaine Saxby (North Devon) (Con)
"As we have noticed on being back in the Chamber this week, many of us across the House are in desperate need of a trip to the hairdresser. As we begin to look at measures for such businesses to reopen in July, when can the House expect an update, so that hairdressers, hotels and other hospitality businesses can adequately prepare to reopen with social distancing measures in place?"
"When I was a child I remember there being a song called “Long Haired Lover from Liverpool”. I have never aimed, in my whole career, to end up looking like the long-haired lover from Liverpool, but I fear I am heading in that direction. I have never had longer hair and I am beginning to wonder whether I ought to ask nanny if she can find a pudding bowl and put it on and see if something can be done as an emergency measure."
Chris Bryant (Rhondda) (Lab)
Does nanny count as part of your household?
"Of course nanny is part of the household. What a daft question. But I am pleased to tell my hon. Friend that the Government are working with industry representatives to develop safe ways for some industries, such as hairdressers, to reopen at the earliest point. I think many of us will feel there is a burden lifted from our shoulders when the hairdressers are reopened."
Mr Deputy Speaker (Mr Nigel Evans)
"Sadly, Leader of the House, not all of us have a nanny."
Mr Rees-Mogg had no response to this. It has been speculated that he is completely unaware that not all households have a nanny.
Yes folks.... this is how the Mother of all Parliaments is functioning at this time.