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The Step-parent

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Kristy69 On September 14, 2014
Carly's Mommy





Underneath the Cyanide Sun....
#1New Post! Apr 11, 2009 @ 14:38:06
Parents, if you've divorced the father/mother of your kids, and they re-married, how hard is it to accept that your child has another "parent" in the picture? How does it feel?

I pretty much loathe that idea, I don't want another mother in my child's life ever. I should be their only mother. I'm selfish with my kids (even though I haven't had any, lol. I can jsut tell I will be) and I have a hard enough time as it is seeing my exes move on.

Would you prefer to get full custody of your kids than share them with the step-parent and your ex?

And how about those of you who are step-parents yourselves? Is it awkward? How does it feel?
annski729 On July 24, 2016




, United States (general)
#2New Post! Apr 11, 2009 @ 14:41:12
Well, it's hard to say how I would feel about it as a parent, but as a daughter, I don't really consider my step mother another parent. My mother who raised me will always be #1 and she knows that.
Kristy69 On September 14, 2014
Carly's Mommy





Underneath the Cyanide Sun....
#3New Post! Apr 11, 2009 @ 14:42:34
@annski729 Said

Well, it's hard to say how I would feel about it as a parent, but as a daughter, I don't really consider my step mother another parent. My mother who raised me will always be #1 and she knows that.


It's different with me, the mom I live with is my stepmom, but she's the only mom I've ever known and I love her as my mom. My biological mom's not in the picute.
annski729 On July 24, 2016




, United States (general)
#4New Post! Apr 11, 2009 @ 14:45:18
@Kristy69 Said

It's different with me, the mom I live with is my stepmom, but she's the only mom I've ever known and I love her as my mom. My biological mom's not in the picute.


I know a few people in that situation whose step parents would most likely be the ones feeling the negativity you mentioned in your first post. Their bio moms probably wouldn't care too much. Not saying that's the same for you, but just that the feelings you mentioned are probably flexible.
sweetheart5545 On November 06, 2013




, Florida
#5New Post! Apr 11, 2009 @ 14:45:45
@annski729 Said

Well, it's hard to say how I would feel about it as a parent, but as a daughter, I don't really consider my step mother another parent. My mother who raised me will always be #1 and she knows that.



the same with me
evababy1 On July 29, 2010
Speechless





lodi, New Jersey
#6New Post! Apr 11, 2009 @ 14:49:18
My dad had no problem letting my mother get full custody. After they divorced, he sent a check every 2 weeks. We barely stayed at his house after that. And I'm glad. I don't really like him. And none of us like his stupid wife. So I guess it worked out.
Dark_Tink On December 30, 2018
<3 Boobie <3





, Canada
#7New Post! Apr 11, 2009 @ 14:54:32
I'm not in that situation now, but I did go through a custody case with my ex when my 13yr old was 1. I was granted full custody....I also left him when she was 6months old(abusive relationship) and he did not see her, or even try to see her until he got with his new GF and tried to get FULL CUSTODY!!!(when she was2yrs old) If he was a decent guy, 1: I wouldn't have left...2: I wouldn't have had an issue with joint custody and his new GF being a part of her life. (side note....when he ahd to start PAYING for the supervised visits at the center we went to...guess what??? He stopped seeing her. Shows how much he cared much about her.}

Too many parents in divorces or break-ups seems to want to 'claim' the kids. They use them as a 'power source' to dangle over the other parent. It sickens me. If one parent breaks off the relationship and wants to fight for full custody and not want the ex and their possible new BF/GF//husband/wife to be involved, or think they will 'be replaced', they need to stop and think..REALLY think, objectively "how 'awful' is the ex and their new spouse??? If the ex and new spouse are not evil, controlling, mean ppl, they deserve every right to be in that child's life. It's just the resentment of the one parent trying to control the role the ex and new spouse are to play in the child life.
boxerdc On December 18, 2012

Deleted



,
#8New Post! Apr 11, 2009 @ 15:02:36
As a youth, I referred to any older woman who fed me as "mom".
My biological mom didn't seem to mind, as it meant that she'd get some free time.
Kristy69 On September 14, 2014
Carly's Mommy





Underneath the Cyanide Sun....
#9New Post! Apr 11, 2009 @ 15:04:37
@boxerdc Said

As a youth, I referred to any older woman who fed me as "mom".
My biological mom didn't seem to mind, as it meant that she'd get some free time.


"Hey, you gave me food! You're my mom. "
boxerdc On December 18, 2012

Deleted



,
#10New Post! Apr 11, 2009 @ 15:07:39
@Kristy69 Said

"Hey, you gave me food! You're my mom. "


It was that kind of neighborhood.. Of course, it also meant that if I misbehaved, that 'mom' could smack me around for it as well..

funny, but my real mom didn't mind that either, again, it gave her some time off.
Kristy69 On September 14, 2014
Carly's Mommy





Underneath the Cyanide Sun....
#11New Post! Apr 11, 2009 @ 15:09:45
@boxerdc Said

It was that kind of neighborhood.. Of course, it also meant that if I misbehaved, that 'mom' could smack me around for it as well..

funny, but my real mom didn't mind that either, again, it gave her some time off.


Lol, Idk. I'm a jealous person when it comes to people. Not objects, people.
boxerdc On December 18, 2012

Deleted



,
#12New Post! Apr 11, 2009 @ 15:13:22
There were LOTS of kids in the hood.. I really think that the moms had a set up where they just passed us all around and each one got a day off to just sleep and watch television..
chisa96 On December 29, 2014
Supreme Goddess





Out in Nature, Wisconsin
#13New Post! Apr 12, 2009 @ 08:57:51
sharing my kid would kill me... its not even really a jealousy thing-- even if my b/f was single, the idea of not seeing my kid for a few days at a time makes me miserable...

to take custody away from him and not let my kid be with his daddy enough would be wrong though... unless the dad's abusive or otherwise unfit, it's wrong to deny your child experiences with their daddy...
unicorn On March 18, 2010

Deleted



The Oaks, Australia
#14New Post! Apr 22, 2009 @ 01:26:02
I'm a mother of two kids from previous marriage, I felt no jealousy about my ex moving on even when it was to a good friend of mine, but everything changed when she starting and continues to force my kids to call her mum. It is devastating and it is still the single biggest issue I have with my ex and his wife.

My kids hate it, but it but at the moment are too young to really step up and confront it.

So in answer to your question when it is forced upon the kids in an attempt to eradicate the birth mother from history the present or the future it is very detrimental to all involved, and IT WILL backfire against my ex and his wife just have to wait.

All you can really do is empower your kids, set the better example and hope for the best.
hazuki0chan On July 18, 2012
Zombie Slayer





San Francisco, California
#15New Post! Apr 22, 2009 @ 01:30:10
I wouldn't want my kids to have another mother. I would try my best to get full custody of my children and then the fat pig can get the hell out of my life and just visit the kids every weekend or so.

I don't know... I guess I'll find out when that happens
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