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Ten signs that you are a fundamentalist christian:

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matthemod On December 10, 2012

Banned



Gillingham, United Kingdom
#1New Post! Nov 29, 2006 @ 14:30:43
I got this in an e-mail thought i'd share it with all you nice people



10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanised" when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" - including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving".

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
brainfarmer On February 09, 2007




huddersfield, United Kingdom
#2New Post! Nov 29, 2006 @ 14:33:04
sorta sums it up for me.
markfox01 On October 29, 2018
innit!





Welshman in Brum.., United Kin
#3New Post! Nov 29, 2006 @ 14:54:45
Yep sounds right..
sono_hito On November 09, 2007




Provo, Utah
#4New Post! Nov 29, 2006 @ 14:55:06
Thats freaking awesome. Kudos to you. Im stealing it and emailing it around to my christian family.

EDIT: My idiot christian family that still doesnt know im pagan.
treacle On July 11, 2009




B/Stoke, United Kingdom
#5New Post! Nov 29, 2006 @ 14:55:46
Spot on
Kasabian On May 25, 2009

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#6New Post! Nov 29, 2006 @ 15:01:22
All I can say to that is .....

now, I'm off for a good ole pray
brainfarmer On February 09, 2007




huddersfield, United Kingdom
#7New Post! Nov 29, 2006 @ 15:04:38
who was that guy in the bible who killed 1000 silly swines with the arse bone of a giraffe?
chaski On 29 minutes ago
Stalker





Tree at Floydgirrl's Window,
#8New Post! Nov 29, 2006 @ 17:04:05
11. You run around telling people what god thinks and what god can or cannot do.
alysedai On November 25, 2014




Newport News, Virginia
#9New Post! Nov 29, 2006 @ 17:10:22
Yeah...the whole tolerance thing bothers me about fundamentalists. Who says that the divine can't choose to reveal him/her/itself to people in different ways? Who's to say that we aren't all right...or wrong for that matter? I do so enjoy pondering the questions of the universe.
perspicacious On November 28, 2014




?, United Kingdom
#10New Post! Nov 29, 2006 @ 17:12:13
@matthemod Said
I got this in an e-mail thought i'd share it with all you nice people



10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanised" when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" - including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving".

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.




Should be titled,

'Definition of a militant hater of religion.'
sono_hito On November 09, 2007




Provo, Utah
#11New Post! Nov 29, 2006 @ 17:21:11
@perspicacious Said
Should be titled,

'Definition of a militant hater of religion.'


why? most of those can very easily be used to describe most of my 15 siblings and all of my parents.
perspicacious On November 28, 2014




?, United Kingdom
#12New Post! Nov 29, 2006 @ 17:55:36
@sono_hito Said
why? most of those can very easily be used to describe most of my 15 siblings and all of my parents.


It's the dedication needed to produce the document.
shaggyjebus On August 26, 2008

Deleted



Goodlettsville, Tennessee
#13New Post! Nov 30, 2006 @ 06:31:05
@perspicacious Said
Should be titled,

'Definition of a militant hater of religion.'


I wouldn't say the person who made this hated religion, only Christianity.

If he/she liked all the other religions and only hated Christianity, isn't that better than only liking Christianity and hating all other religions?
nine_days On May 09, 2007

Deleted



, California
#14New Post! Nov 30, 2006 @ 08:02:31
@perspicacious Said
Should be titled,

'Definition of a militant hater of religion.'


It amuses me that this pathetic drivel is the best retort you could muster. Where is the grand defense of Christianity? Surely you can do better. Perhaps not.
Lili On July 12, 2019
....................





Sunshine Land,
#15New Post! Nov 30, 2006 @ 08:10:22
love it!
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