The Forum Site - Join the conversation
Forums: Relationships:
Breaking Up

Tell me that it would be ok..

Reply to Topic
AuthorMessage
Pages: << · 1 2 3 4 5 · >>
boxer On June 16, 2016

Deleted
Banned



, Zimbabwe
#31New Post! Nov 10, 2013 @ 02:08:38
@Verstehen Said

nono no my dear.. you see know you just told me you think i was wrong.. great I can accept that.. but some otehrs esp ppl like boxer is more than just the your wrong.. its more like your wrong, he should be running form you kinda s***.. I mean all that wasnt called for.. I think people that that suffer from superiority complex... rolls eyes.. ( yes now im defensive)


I'm terribly sorry that my pointing out the complete and absolute truth, as stated by you in your own words, has made you defensive.

I will now leave this thread, and block you so you'll never have to roll your eyes at me again.
VeRsTeHeN On April 29, 2015




St Agustine, Trinidad and Toba
#32New Post! Nov 10, 2013 @ 02:21:28
@boxer Said

I'm terribly sorry that my pointing out the complete and absolute truth, as stated by you in your own words, has made you defensive.

I will now leave this thread, and block you so you'll never have to roll your eyes at me again. [/QUOTEits a free world bru
chaski On about 21 hours ago
Stalker





Tree at Floydgirrl's Window,
#33New Post! Nov 10, 2013 @ 03:13:08
@Verstehen Said


your only fooling yourself if you say you never dreamt of someone in your past before .. thats normal to everyone.. rolls eyes


You can emotionally abuse your boyfriend over this sort of BS reasoning, but it won't work on me.

You were wrong, you just don't want to admit it.

Judas On September 02, 2015




, Canada
#34New Post! Nov 10, 2013 @ 03:26:11
@Verstehen Said

im sorry I dnt care what any of you think... the answer was mostly about why he lied.. wasnt if he dreamt of her.. of course I know thats normal.. so all of you who think im wrong or whatever... psssht suck it..if you think im going to accept being lied to.. then um.. no... I told him I was dreaming of other random ppl.. so why should I be upset if he does...maybe my journals on this site have made me seem.. like im always unhappy...but I only use this site to vent... the only peson has ever made me sad is him.. as for the idiot who wants to say that my ex has been walking on eggshells around me.. dam straight.. he lied to my whole family and and me about his past.. ut wasnt until I left him he hooked up back with his ex until he realized she wnt let her man go and he was second place... so plz shut up if you donno the dam info..


Well, hun, you asked for opinions and you got it. I'm sorry we all didn't jump to your side. I hope you're happy.
If this wasn't the first time, maybe you should have walked a long time ago
sAeGeSpAeNe On October 05, 2021
Part-time Nidologist





The other Bristol..., Connecti
#35New Post! Nov 10, 2013 @ 03:52:22
@Verstehen Said

Dear reader... im sorry to alwys having to be the one to write the most depressing of entries.. for people who do know me... they know im funny, smart.. giving loving caring... one of my friends actually called me a 2nd Guardian angel to others and I am grateful for that title.. However... over the last few days .. I have been having a tough time with my boyfriend of 3 years.. if you're a previous reader of my journals you would realize the hell ive been thru..so anyway...the other day I came upon a question... I asked him if he ever dreamt of his ex.. i mean she was his first everything... and that to me seems natural that in the past.. he would have done that.. he looked at me at said he never did.. that enraged ever part of me.. because I have been forgiving of almost every hurtful deceiving lying s*** he has ever done to me... but days later after time apart.. I called off our 3-4 year relationship... It hurts alot.. and I know many of you may think this is minor.. but to me.. its like for him to be lying over this .. it seems like he is putting her over me.. I walked away and ended our relationship..never to return again... plz tell me if I am wrong..


Dear Friend,
I had read your posting on the night you placed it here. I didn't respond to it, then, because you had already told me, in a different 'place' that you were severing your involvement with me, on all levels, and I felt that it would be unwise to push the issue.
[For any casual readers here, I wish it to be understood that I am not the boyfriend that Verstehen is referring to in her OP.]
Since then, however, you have decided to open your mind to my thoughts again, and have requested that I add my opinion to this thread, and I shall do so, forthwith:
Your dilemma is, as others here have pointed out, of your own making; and you have accepted, or can appreciate, what Eaglebauer has told you. The brains of each of us are filled with a complicated mix of thoughts and memories. Some of those thoughts continue to evolve, seemingly, even while we are having them, but there is no guarantee that two people will ever have exactly the same thoughts about a particular subject, or experience the same kinds of psychic behavior... The respondents to this thread have, for the most part, been critical of you for even posing the question that you did, "Do you ever dream of your ex...?" without attempting to understand why you would even ask. Instead, some offer their own logical reasons why you should not be asking that question, at all! I am going to postulate that you have had a very good reason to ask that question, only because I believe I know a bit about your temperament and sensitivity, as well as the information that you have revealed to me about your own personality, because of your health, life-style and studies, and past experience with this boyfriend. So, while you may have every right and reason to ask your (now) ex-BF about his dreaming, you cannot, with certainty, determine that his response is either truthful or not. Whatever it may have been, it certainly did not meet your expectations! Your suspicions of him, now, are the same ones that you had confirmed, earlier. He had left you once before, and returned to his ex-girlfriend, and put you through misery. Correct me if I am wrong, but you took him back, under your wing, so-to-speak, and gave him another chance at forging a lasting relationship with you. You have had your own doubts as to his loyalty and devotion, since he returned to you, and you have been trying to ignore those doubts. Finding that to be impossible, you had decided to give him a chance to remove those doubts by posing the question that you did. His response did little to remove the doubts that you had. Your own personality seeks the confirmation of the love and devotion of your partner. Would it have made a difference if he had told you that he never dreams of his ex, but he does dream of you constantly? Perhaps,... but, he didn't say that. By his not saying that, you feel that he had (without words) declared that he doesn't dream of you, either. This is why you have come to the decision that you have arrived at. Based on his answer to your question, I cannot say whether breaking up with him was the right thing to do. However, I do feel that you did the right thing, based on other things that you have either showed or told to me. I speak here, for instance, of the pictures of the two of you, together, and the dispassionate look, the absence of even a hint of affection....

You have decided that this (now ex-) boyfriend was not going to be your life-companion, and you feel depressed because the dream of an everlasting love seems to have vanished. Pick up your head, and continue the search. All is not lost forever. You just have not found the right one, yet.
VeRsTeHeN On April 29, 2015




St Agustine, Trinidad and Toba
#36New Post! Nov 10, 2013 @ 04:50:49
@Judas Said

Well, hun, you asked for opinions and you got it. I'm sorry we all didn't jump to your side. I hope you're happy.
If this wasn't the first time, maybe you should have walked a long time ago



I didnt want everyone jsut on my side.. i values the opinion just do not appreciate the extend of some people views as they do not know me.. its it same from the one that did I would have understood..Im not going to let sexist ppllike chaski get to me..
Judas On September 02, 2015




, Canada
#37New Post! Nov 10, 2013 @ 06:08:47
@Verstehen Said

I didnt want everyone jsut on my side.. i values the opinion just do not appreciate the extend of some people views as they do not know me.. its it same from the one that did I would have understood..Im not going to let sexist ppllike chaski get to me..



I doubt that Chaski is sexist. But to be honest you made it sound like you're an tempermental person. You made it sound like his answer (which sounds like he was just trying to make you happy) didn't matter because you were set on an answer that you expected. What if he was really being truthful? Did you talk to him or just quit?
Sparklegirl On December 13, 2019
LL.M





Cumbria, United Kingdom
#38New Post! Nov 10, 2013 @ 12:21:20
As Eagle said, I have to agree that I also do not dream of my ex (having said that now, I bet I will tonight!) so it is very possible he was telling the truth. However, I have a feeling that it was not this singular incident which was the 'straw that broke the camels back'

From reading this, I get the impression that whatever else he has done in the past that you have forgiven him for, might have left such emotional scars which you have not subconsciously and deeply forgiven him for. So this appeared to be the reason you left him on the surface but deep down could it have been something else?

Having not read anything else you have posted about your relationship with this guy I am not sure how right or wrong I might be with this. but i do know that an ex can haunt relationships and asking about them merely serves to resurface them in the present
Hypnotica On October 08, 2023

Banned



Steel City (Sheffield), United
#39New Post! Nov 10, 2013 @ 13:19:34
Lets add this question to the stupid questions list.

It either tell the truth and probably have a row, or improve your lying skills to avoid rows.
chaski On about 21 hours ago
Stalker





Tree at Floydgirrl's Window,
#40New Post! Nov 10, 2013 @ 14:30:41
@Verstehen Said

sexist ppllike chaski get to me..



So because I told you that you are wrong, I am a sexist.
restoreone On January 30, 2022




, Ohio
#41New Post! Nov 10, 2013 @ 14:36:39
@chaski Said

So because I told you that you are wrong, I am a sexist.



You don't have time to be a sexist with all the stalking you do.
GreenAppleKing On April 23, 2015

Deleted



, United States (general)
#42New Post! Nov 10, 2013 @ 14:38:39
@Verstehen Said

I didnt want everyone jsut on my side.. i values the opinion just do not appreciate the extend of some people views as they do not know me.. its it same from the one that did I would have understood..Im not going to let sexist ppllike chaski get to me..



I would strongly recommend finding a ladies support group in your area who can give you the encouragement you need.
shadowen On March 22, 2024




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#43New Post! Nov 10, 2013 @ 15:13:13
Your reaction suggests that you have major trust issues with him (and if he cheated on you then i can understand why). In my opinion (and experience) any relationship that exists without trust is doomed to fail and usually turns toxic. I do believe (from what you have posted) that you are better off apart.

Just bear in mind that everyone is different so in this case he may have been telling you the truth (hell, i dont dream about any of my exes).

As an observation, i dont think it is good practise to ask someone a question to which only they know the answer and then simply refuse to believe the answer they give you.

In such situations you need to either accept on face value their answer or dont ask them the question in the first place.
yami On September 11, 2016

Banned



grimsby, United Kingdom
#44New Post! Nov 10, 2013 @ 15:16:23
@shadowen Said

Your reaction suggests that you have major trust issues with him (and if he cheated on you then i can understand why). In my opinion (and experience) any relationship that exists without trust is doomed to fail and usually turns toxic. I do believe (from what you have posted) that you are better off apart.

Just bear in mind that everyone is different so in this case he may have been telling you the truth (hell, i dont dream about any of my exes).

As an observation, i dont think it is good practise to ask someone a question to which only they know the answer and then simply refuse to believe the answer they give you.

In such situations you need to either accept on face value their answer or dont ask them the question in the first place.


It was a lose/lose question. If he told the truth, it was over, if he lied the OP would not have believed him and it was over.
shadowen On March 22, 2024




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#45New Post! Nov 10, 2013 @ 15:18:16
"You have decided that this (now ex-) boyfriend was not going to be your life-companion, and you feel depressed because the dream of an everlasting love seems to have vanished. Pick up your head, and continue the search. All is not lost forever. You just have not found the right one, yet."

Well said
Reply to Topic<< Previous Topic | Next Topic >>
Pages: << · 1 2 3 4 5 · >>

1 browsing (0 members - 1 guest)

Quick Reply
Be Respectful of Others

      
Subscribe to topic prefs

Similar Topics
    Forum Topic Last Post Replies Views
New posts   Philosophy
Sat Nov 05, 2005 @ 01:05
9 2300
New posts   Religion & Philosophy
Thu Jul 29, 2010 @ 11:13
14 1665
New posts   Religion & Philosophy
Mon Jan 26, 2009 @ 14:27
12 1085
New posts   Religion & Philosophy
Sun Aug 24, 2008 @ 01:59
17 1292
New posts   Philosophy
Thu Jul 01, 2010 @ 05:45
196 8263