Stalkers

has anyone ever been stalked or followed? how did it make you feel? what did you finally do about it? i have an ex (the one who used to beat me) whos been popping up lately. he lives three hours away and i know hes been following me. i dont really know what to do, and it kind of scares me.

Phone the police and report him , if you know he is following you then you need to, when he beat you before did you report it ?

Yeah tell the police. Stalking is agaisnt the law.

i know its against the law. i dont know, something keeps holding me back, i just cant do it

I had one once, I was in high school and out of town for a period of time, good thing was, when I went back home he had no way of finding out where I lived or anything. I guess I was lucky.

I would at least tell your parents, your underage, they can help you contact the police and be there for you.

I had a stalker...my first boyfriend. He was obsessed with me, and wanted me to marry him when I was 16. 16!! I was like...I can't promise you forever! So he couldn't deal with that and kept harping me and I broke up with him. He went insane. He followed me everywhere. He would climb up on the roof of the porch that was in front of my bedroom window and cut the screen and crawl into my bed while I was sleeping...my dad had to replace the screens a few times. He followed me to church camp...which was a good 5 and a half hour drive from where we lived. He rode his bike there. He appeared there with dozens of roses. He would be everywhere I was...no matter what I did...and I was going to put a restraining order on him, but fortunately he ended up going to jail or something instead. I haven't heard from him for years.

It's a really scary thing. If you really feel that he is following you, you need to put a restraining order on him. Call the police and tell them what is happening. Don't let it get to the point I let it get to, where he was waiting for me everywhere I went.

I had a stalker- she tried to kill me twice when we went to school together- she even bragged about it publicly and in front of me. The school told her parents to get a restraining order against me. She did. She admitted in court I hadn't done anything, and she committed purjery and contempt of court. The judge decided to let her get one against me. Then, I tried to get one against her. She got a five minute lecture from a judge, and I was told if she did anything else, then they'd think about giving me an order against her. It was great because for a years time, I had to constantly worry that she was going to lie again and have me arrested, on top of her threats and attempts to kill me- and I had to go to school with her too. I eventually dropped out, then she found me at work. I changed my name and moved 1300 miles away- she apparently dropped out shortly after I moved and no one that I know knows where she is.

In your case, given that there was a history of domestic violence, and assuming that you are female (most reported cases of domestic violence and stalking the victim is), it'd be pretty open and shut. Head to your district court and file a petition for either a protection/no contact order, if they so much as speak to you you can have them arrested. A restraining order creates a distance barrier. Many people cannot take their own steps to ending the cycle of abuse. I volunteered at an emergency support shelter (I was the only man in the entire history of the shelter allowed to enter it without supervision), and I know that many areas have these, they offer classes in learning to cope.

i'm sorry. you should file a report with the police right away. get a restraining order. if the person harmed you before this could be a potentially dangerous situation. you have a right to feel safe. maybe you should get some mase. i don't know.

When he would climb into your window did your dad call the police and report a break in?

grr. i dont want to do that. hes dating one of my ex best friends. shes pregnant and theyre engaged. its a huge story, you dont know all of it. i dont know, he has problems and locking him up wont do anything. and getting a restraining order im afraid wont stop him. hes quite adamant that we will get back together. last night i told him just to go home to his fiancee and he got pissed. if hed been drinking he wouldve hit me. getting a restraining order im sure would piss him off to the point that hed come after me again

He didn't because he wouldn't believe me that I didn't want this guy there. He thought that I was inviting him in. Because I dated him, you know? I happened three times, and each time, I got in more and more trouble.

That wasn't very nice of your dad to not believe you.

thats crazy. i havent told my parents about dating him. i didnt tell my cousin about him showing up last night either. i just dont know what to do

The restraining order is so that he CANNOT come around you, honey. When you have a restraining order, if he comes within a certain proximity of you, you can call the police and have him escorted away IMMEDIATELY, no questions asked. Please, don't let it get to the point where he'll hit you again. Locking him up will make it so that he cannot get to you!!

Not to be harsh, but seriously, been...don't be stupid. If he's hit you before, he's gonna do it again. You are better than that, and yu need to stand up for yourself like a real woman would.

Coming from someone who has been in your exact situation...please, don't let it get too far....

You have two choices that I can see. Sit and do nothing or call the police and have him stopped. The fact he is dating one of your ex-best friends who is pregnant is irrelevant. You need to put an end to it before he takes it beyond stalking.