Speed of getting over it

In my history of relationships the longest time it took me to get over someone is only a month. Now don't get me wrong, I had serious relationships, once of which lasted 2 years and 4 months, yet I get over them so quickly. In all seriousness, it bothers me. I definately had feelings of love for the two relationships I am refering to (I have had plenty more it's just the two most recent ones were by far the most serious) and I'm bothered at my ability to get over it. My only thought is I detach myself so much right away and so intensely that I get out a long time worths of sadness in a short time. Do you think I'm correct in this idea? When I lost my last relationship, being the most serious by far, I pretty much died for a solid week. I didn't eat more than a slice of cheese a day, and I didn't do a damn thing other than watch an anime show I like for hours on end. I ignored calls and was a complete a** to my mom and anyone trying to help me. I did it with my other serious relationship but not quite as harsh. I don't understand why I get over that so quickly or why I am so devistated as drastically as I am. Anyway, if you have any ideas for me let me know but also how do you guys cope? How long does it usually take for you to be okay and ready for the next thing life has to bring you?

It takes as long as it takes. Can't put a time on these things

Usually i get over it real quick, i always figure i dont want to be with someone who could hurt me or doesnt want to be with me. So if im dumped i think, well i would rather he ended it than stay with me out of pity or avoiding the akwardness. Then i think f*** it, i can live without you, i felt this way before i can again.

The longest break ups for me have been the on/off guys, just as you get on with your life there they are back on your doorstep.

Bur generally i have a switch in my head that goes from loyal, loving, warm hearted girlfriend to cold, callous, unfeeling b**** in literally seconds flat.

mine is opposite! I don't get over it that quickly.

I wish I had the ability to do that.

For example, Lee and I split up about a year and a half ago, I found out yesterday that he proposed to Erin - the girl he cheated on me with - and for some reason, even after all this time, it still felt like a kick in the teeth.

I worry that I wont ever completely get him out of my head.

The only advantage is, whenever anyone else hurts me I tell myself "If I can get over Lee and what he did to me, I can with anyone else"

Yeah everynow and that something will happen and I'll hear about my ex gf and her new boyfriend (who WAS a friend of mind until she cheated on me with him, sounds like the same story =P) and it stings to hear them being happy and such. When you think about it though, what would you do if you were in a relationship but then found somenoe who you had stronger feelings for? I wouldn't cheat but I wouldn't want the person I'm with to me angery at me for seeking happiness. I don't even fully get over any of my ex's, whether I ended it or them as dumb as that may sound. There is always something that will happen, I will see, or I will hear that reminds me of someone. But I get over it in the sense that I move on quickly, to someone new or to the single life ready to do whatever. But there are still those times I will just think "Wonder how Lana is going." (Lana = my last gf, most serious).

i usually get hit hard when something ends but most of my relationships have been long term with the past two lasting 7 years so there is a lot vested in them and that makes things a lot harder to get past, last time i split with a partner it took about 8 months of me to be "right" again - i don't sit around mopping though

Awwwwww id like to let you know, i totally know how you feel...i have been in the same boat, twice....

about 6 months ago i split up from my boyfriend i was with for 5 months, i was gutted, i loved him totally, its taken till now, to get over him, and im STILl not completely there....

about 2 years ago, i was with a guy for 3 months, and he was a best friend aswell....and that took me a year and a half to get over!

i think it varies to be honest!

Yeah I mop and mop and mop and mop and mop...you get the drift. I basically become lifeless and would rather sit in my room alone than hang out with friends to take my mind off of it. I think that's why I get over things so quickly.

To howaboutsavalife (I think thats right...):

Yeah see your what I consider normal. Me? Pfft. I don't spend that long at all getting "over it" it only takes me so far the longest was a month after a 2 year 4 month relationship than ended with her cheating on my with a friend whom of which I thought I was close to. I think I'm like messed up. Reason it bothers me is because people looking at the situation, such as my ex's, think that I lied when I said I loved them or think anything I saw was bs because of the speed I got over things. I hate that...everything I said was true and even to this day I still do think of them and such (I only had 2 serious relationships) so my conclusion is I'm messed up or something...

your not messed up, you say ur 'over them' but seriously think about it....if you think about them?? do you have feelings when you think about them??

i have a feeling this 'fast recovery' isnt a recovery at all, this is how YOU deal with the pain

some people take years. I. E me, i cry and am sick and stuff


this is your way of dealing with it.

True. When I say I'm over it I should say I'm already ready to go into another relationship, but if I was still single at the time and my last girlfriend (Lana) called me and asked if I wanted to be with her again then I would jump on that without hesitation. She was the most serious relationship I ever had and everything was perfect, then her parents blackmailed her and caused us to break up. She couldn't be in a serious relationship if they were going to pay for all of her college expenses because they want her to have no distractions so they get their "moneys worth" and they talked to me and said "If this wasn't the case we wouldn't mind you dating her it's just blahblahblah not youblahblahblah" -_- So I was forced to accept that fate. Even now (though it's only been a little over two weeks) I still hope that I will get a call from her saying she wants to be with me again. It's very confusing though because at the same time there is somenoe very important who wants to be with me that I've known forever. Now you see why I am a mess =P