Some more

@rondetto Said

This chap came up to me and offered Wembley Stadium, Wembley Arena and Wembley Conference Centre.
I thought, he's trying to give me a complex.

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I find it really difficult to separate fact from fiction.
I must be the world's worst librarian.

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ME: "Can we see the menu please?"
FRENCH WAITER: "Mais Oui."
ME: "Ok fusspot, MAY we see the menu please?"

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My wife reckons my eyesight is getting worse. I keep walking into things......pubs and betting shops mostly.

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My wife said 'l can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis'
I replied 'That's 15 love'

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If you‘re in a 70’s Swedish pop band and need to be measured for a watch, there’s a great place in Wales - ABBA wrist width.

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Today I've been listening to a Cassette of protest songs..
It's a Demotape....

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My wife took off her shirt and bra during an argument where I was winning.
I was powerless, it was a booby trap.

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