Skunky's Zombie Slaughter Shop

I don't know why I haven't been posting in the zombie threads much, but that's all about to change with my Zombie Slaughter Shop! We have everything for all your zombie killing needs! We offer a wide variety of bats, clubs, swords, knives, guns, kanabos, wood planks, shovels, flamethrowers, grenades, pikes, axes, you name it, we got it!

Not only do we offer a wide variety of traditional zombie killing gear, but also some unconventional weaponry, like the Monkey Bomb here:



This cute little guy is stuffed with enough 115-enhanced explosives to paint an entire house red with zombie blood. Just twist the key at the back, wait for the cymbal clangs, then give 'em a toss. In seconds, any zombie hellbent on chewing through your skull will be drawn to our silly simian friend as he plays his little tune. And like musical chairs, once the music stops, it's GAME OVER for the zombs.

We also offer a full selection of your favourite Perk-a-Colas and Energy Drinks. We're having a sale on Deadshot Daiquiri this week too. Buy any Perk-a-Cola and get a free bottle of DD! What's so great about Deadshot?

*He twists the top off a bottle, drinks it in a few gulps and pulls out a magnum. He points it behind him, not even aiming, and pulls the trigger. The dummy zombie stand behind him gets shot perfectly between the eyes.*

That! You'll be popping skulls in no time! And if your weapon's seen better days, no problem. We repair gear, even modify it for you, too. Is your regular knife missing some spark? With just a few wires, some batteries, duct tape and a wrist***ch, you too can have an electrified timebomb to toss at those zombie bastards.

And of course, what zombie store would be complete without the Random Crate? It's been bolted to the floor, so it won't run off with your money. Only $100 for a go. You could get something completely amazing, like an alien Ray Gun, or even a chain gun, or you could get stuck with a stick. Are the odds in your favour?

So come on down to Skunky's Zombie Slaughter Shop! Where the undead come to lose their head!!!

Well, at least no one stole anything while I was away.

But yeah, the store is officially open now.

..................... So yeah.... store's open....... for all your.................zombie killing................. needs............... So, y'know........... don't everyone rush in at the same time......

*Opens up a large metal chest in the back and starts going through it.*

*Pulls out a bunch of metal police batons and sets them up on a shelf. He goes back to the chest and pulls out two shotguns and puts them into the glass display case behind him.*

*walks in* got any nice dragon's breath shells for a shotgun?

Yep. You're the first customer, so they're fully stocked. How many do you need? A box of 64 shells costs $30 and you can get 2 for $50.

Enough to kick some a** and chew bubble gum... the only problem is that I am all outta gum

We sell gum too. *Points to the candy aisle.*

*Pulls out four boxes of shells. He motions to a large crate with golden question marks inlayed into the top.*

The random crate's here too, if you'd like. Only $100 to use it, but you won't know what you'll get until you get it.

*goes and gets 4 packs of gum and comes back* only a hundred bucks eh?
How does it work?

Allow me to demonstrate.

*He pulls out a $100 bill and walks in front of the crate. The dollar appears to vanish in a bright light as the crate's top popped open. The first weapon that hovers out appears to be a pistol, but it rapidly changes to something else every tenth of a second, making it nearly impossible to determine what weapon it would be. A little jingle plays in the background, similar to that of a child's music box. As the music ends, the weapons stop changing and it stops on a Molotov Cocktail. It slowly starts to go back into the box.*

You pay the box, then it opens. You get one weapon per purchase, but the weapon you receive is entirely by chance. If you take too long accepting your weapon, then it goes back in the box. You could get the most powerful weapon in the box, or be stuck with an extra pistol.

*The Molotov slowly descends back into the box, the lid closes and locks.*

*gives the box $100 and watches the guns rapidly change* Round and round it goes where it stops nobody knows

*Watches the crate. It hangs on a Makarov pistol for a while for some reason, but changes into a Metal Baseball Bat wrapped in barbed wire, nails and blades sticking out horizontally along the top.*

Oooh... a Devastating Home Run! Nice. That'll have zombies squirting blood like crazy. Plus, the force behind it will be enough to drop almost any zombie in a few hits. Probably completely smash its head too.

Nioce *picks up the bat*

*The crate makes a "Ca-Ching" sound as Delta accepts his prize.*

Pretty cool, huh? However, it only recognizes two of your weapons at a time, so if you have two weapons and want something else, you'll have to trade it into the box.