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Single Person Giving Advice

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Cpat92 On August 16, 2020
It's all or nothing





Lauderhill, Florida
#1New Post! Apr 28, 2012 @ 18:00:33
What is your take on a single person giving a person in a relationship advice? I often catch myself giving my friends advice, even though I never been in a relationship. I hear it's a bad idea and I always try to bite my tongue. Sometimes it's hard to stay quiet when you have an opinion. I never been in a relationship, but I from what I learned through friends and from what I seen, I sometimes think that I know a bit due to what I view. I tried to tell my friend I shouldn't give advice and I could ruin things. He told me shut up because even though I never had a girlfriend, I have an opinion and I give good advice as well. I don't know if he used it, but him and his girlfriend ( both are really close friends) are still together.
Leon On September 19, 2020




San Diego, California
#2New Post! Apr 28, 2012 @ 18:02:12
You can still learn from observation and dialogue. So I don't think it is too far off to say that single people could still have good insight and advice.
Sparklegirl On December 13, 2019
LL.M





Cumbria, United Kingdom
#3New Post! Apr 28, 2012 @ 18:11:52
I have taken advice from single friends before. Although they have had some experience with their own relationships.

But the way I look at it- I see clients as a counsellor when I have not experienced the exact same problems but I do not feel that makes me any less able to help them though.
sTreetAngeL On November 27, 2019
root tedt ree





in a paradox,
#4New Post! Apr 28, 2012 @ 18:19:44
Well we all have a sense of right and wrong about things in general. We all have perspective and experience to a degree. We all know when treatment is either right or wrong; and this all regardless of whether or not we have ever been in a relationship...
Some things are just universally recognized..

When we are in a relationship, often times our emotions are overwhelmed and we can't always see things and situations clearly.
It is then that the advice of a friend is most welcomed; If that friend happens to be single and therfore without bias,.. it can be all for the better.

Naturally, the things to do with 'experience', should remain for the experienced. But that's just common sense.
Cpat92 On August 16, 2020
It's all or nothing





Lauderhill, Florida
#5New Post! Apr 28, 2012 @ 18:20:45
Sometimes I just feel like I'm setting them up for failure.
x_Laura_x On February 19, 2020
Majestic Unicorn





Nowhere, United Kingdom
#6New Post! Apr 28, 2012 @ 18:21:16
I don't think you have to experience something to be able to give advice.
sTreetAngeL On November 27, 2019
root tedt ree





in a paradox,
#7New Post! Apr 28, 2012 @ 18:26:40
@Cpat92 Said

Sometimes I just feel like I'm setting them up for failure.



Ultimately, people are going to do what 'they' choose to in the end. However, if the one you are giving advice to is the type who just 'does' without regard if it is the wisest move, then I'd say if you are aware of this and you are unsure that your advice is sound enough, to refrain from giving any. Simply say "I'm not sure myself how I'd handle that." - Or something to that effect.
sAeGeSpAeNe On August 18, 2020
Part-time Nidologist





The other Bristol..., Connecti
#8New Post! Apr 28, 2012 @ 18:38:15
@Cpat92 Said

What is your take on a single person giving a person in a relationship advice? I often catch myself giving my friends advice, even though I never been in a relationship. I hear it's a bad idea and I always try to bite my tongue. Sometimes it's hard to stay quiet when you have an opinion. I never been in a relationship, but I from what I learned through friends and from what I seen, I sometimes think that I know a bit due to what I view. I tried to tell my friend I shouldn't give advice and I could ruin things. He told me shut up because even though I never had a girlfriend, I have an opinion and I give good advice as well. I don't know if he used it, but him and his girlfriend ( both are really close friends) are still together.



Always searching for new bits of knowledge, I try to glean, from the observations of others, those elements that will become a part of a new knowledge-base for future research. I have highlighted some bits and pieces from above, so that I might contemplate their overall impact on our society.

I have just several questions about what you have said.
1. Why is it that, even though you recognize it to be a bad idea, while giving your friends advice, you always manage to bite your tongue?

2. Doesn't that render anything that you might be saying as some sort of unintelligible babble, or are your friends so overcome with awe, thinking that you know so much, and just assume that they don't understand you, because they are less educated than you?

3. Even though your friend(s) are given fair warning about your relative lack of expertise, are they comfortable with your feeling that just because you have an opinion, it must be good?

4. What flavor is your tongue, anyway, and could you simply be addicted to the taste?
sAeGeSpAeNe On August 18, 2020
Part-time Nidologist





The other Bristol..., Connecti
#9New Post! Apr 28, 2012 @ 18:49:54
On a more serious note,... I've started offering advice to one dear, sweet relative, but caught myself before the words jumped out of my mouth. I felt as if, should she accept my advice, she would perceive it to mean that I was finding fault with a close male friend of hers. I am now plagued with guilt at times, since I told her that I will not be judgemental, but would support her with whatever decision she makes, regarding the continuation of her relationship.

It's been more than a year, and I still have yet to be impressed by any of this guy's characteristics, and I can see that she is in a constant state of mental turmoil. One side of me says that a person has to decide for his/her self, and take responsibility for such a decision, while the other side of me is saying that I can't continue to see how she is being hurt by this individual.

I continue to remain cautious about saying anything, because the contact that I have with my dear one is not daily, and so I cannot even trust my observations to be reflective of what is really going on.

Color me on the outside, looking in.....
Kristy69 On September 14, 2014
Carly's Mommy





Underneath the Cyanide Sun....
#10New Post! Apr 28, 2012 @ 18:51:47
Well they may have had a previous relationship they can give insight using. Or may have witnessed family/friends go through something similar.
sTreetAngeL On November 27, 2019
root tedt ree





in a paradox,
#11New Post! Apr 28, 2012 @ 18:57:05
@sAeGeSpAeNe Said


Color me on the outside, looking in.....



sAeGeSpAeNe On August 18, 2020
Part-time Nidologist





The other Bristol..., Connecti
#12New Post! Apr 28, 2012 @ 18:58:38



Tanks!
vekta On November 18, 2013




,
#13New Post! Apr 28, 2012 @ 19:06:48
Well it is a bad idea...to a certain degree.

There is always a risk of getting sucked into the middle of whatever problem they're having. That being said, sometimes it takes a single person to state the obvious when it's something they don't want to hear.

That's the problem with giving advice, you can't really tell them what they want to hear because it defeats the purpose of giving "advice" in the first place. They can resent you for it. It's a thankless job...unless it turns out good.
lilkatangel On September 01, 2014




Northglenn, Colorado
#14New Post! Apr 28, 2012 @ 19:13:39
Even people who've never been in a relationship can give insight from observation. Singles who are now single, but have been in relationships certainly can as experience is a wonderful teacher. For, example, I told my best friend not to get engaged to her man too quick, that it often leads to heartache. She knows for fact that I am not just full of hot air because she saw me make that mistake 3 times in as many years, and, well I'm not married and never was, so yeah, uniquely qualified to say such.
Electric_Banana On September 18, 2020




, New Zealand
#15New Post! Apr 28, 2012 @ 19:32:15
@Cpat92 Said

What is your take on a single person giving a person in a relationship advice? I often catch myself giving my friends advice, even though I never been in a relationship. I hear it's a bad idea and I always try to bite my tongue. Sometimes it's hard to stay quiet when you have an opinion. I never been in a relationship, but I from what I learned through friends and from what I seen, I sometimes think that I know a bit due to what I view. I tried to tell my friend I shouldn't give advice and I could ruin things. He told me shut up because even though I never had a girlfriend, I have an opinion and I give good advice as well. I don't know if he used it, but him and his girlfriend ( both are really close friends) are still together.



Depends - If it's a Punch and Judy type relationship they'll take anything you contribute, in hopes to help them compromise, and beat each other over the head with and you'll come off looking like an instigator.

There was only real critical time in the past where my input was necessary and that was trying to contact a friend, who happened to be out, but his gf answered the phone and engaged me in a conversation that she was afraid he might be getting to the point of becoming physically abusive.

Knowing the person for years I knew he wasn't the type to haul off and hit a chic so I more or less told her to laugh off his aggression.

More or less, however, and remembering my own past dysfunctional relationships any advice you try to offer non-biased is going to be turned around as some new revelation or weapon for your friends to use against each other.
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