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Breaking Up

Should I?

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AuthorMessage
Should I explain to him why I broke up with him?
Nope!
Yes!
Maybe. :/
Depends on the situation.
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astrohamgirl On June 16, 2012




Melbourne Beach, Florida
#1New Post! Apr 17, 2011 @ 16:21:56
I broke up with my BF of almost 5 months about 2 weeks ago. Maybe before that. He just wasn't meeting my expectations. Blake (my ex) was also very self absorbed. When my grandmother broke her femur (she is turning 88 this week) he didn't give a damn. When my best friend's mom was being threatened by his father he told me to be careful not to hook up with my friend. (My friend Wyatt.)

And then when 3 family members that I loved dearly were in a car crash he never contacted me even though he knew and he promised he would. My uncle almost died for Christ sakes!

The stress of my family and friends plus Blake was making me ill all the time. I kept coming down with fevers and I was just worn down.

But the thing is I don't feel like I have any closure about this relationship. I ended it but I really don't think he understands why I ended it. My mom thinks I should explain it to him but I'm so confused.

I guess I'm also hurt because he now has a girlfriend who he he takes everywhere with him and he likes to torture me with that on Facebook. It's like rubbing in my face, "You weren't good enough to deserve this."

This whole process has been mentally degrading. And since you all have now read my story on our relationship can you please tell me what you think? Should I explain and get closure or leave it?
galastaray On June 08, 2016
honey bucket


Deleted



Honey Bucket, Reunion
#2New Post! Apr 17, 2011 @ 16:25:43
Well it's obviously not bothering him. He just moved on and got himself another girlfriend. Do you think he really cares how you feel? You have to learn to cope with this and understand that you've got to go through lots of relationships in life to learn about yourself and how you react to different people.
Dark_Tink On December 30, 2018
<3 Boobie <3





, Canada
#3New Post! Apr 17, 2011 @ 16:30:52
Is he asking you "Why did you break up with me?" If not, then don't worry about. I'm just guessing here, but probably not, since he has moved on.

He sounds like an ass. I'd advise you delete him from FB as well.
astrohamgirl On June 16, 2012




Melbourne Beach, Florida
#4New Post! Apr 17, 2011 @ 16:32:10
@Dark_Tink Said

Is he asking you "Why did you break up with me?" If not, then don't worry about. I'm just guessing here, but probably not, since he has moved on.

He sounds like an ass. I'd advise you delete him from FB as well.



Oh he is an ass.
KittyCatRawr777 On July 12, 2011

Deleted



Oxford, United Kingdom
#5New Post! Apr 17, 2011 @ 16:57:00
although he seems to take pleasure in rubbing his new relationship in your face, maybe explaining what a jerk he was to you and why u broke up with him will give you a sense of closure. You deserve to fully move on from him and have a happier life, if telling him will do that then go for it, of not just move on and make a good life for yourself without him.
ThePainefulTruth On May 06, 2013
Verum est Deus


Deleted



Peoria, Arizona
#6New Post! Apr 17, 2011 @ 20:38:56
If he's like Jackthef***ingRipper, it could even be dangerous not to move out of town.

But if he's just a run-of-the-mill a*****e, you might get a few kicks out of twisting the blade a bit.
xRuby_Kissesx On June 14, 2011

Deleted



Sailing the high seas..., Unit
#7New Post! Apr 17, 2011 @ 20:53:50
I wouldn't waste my breath or time on the loser. If he was so uncaring when you were together his reaction to what you would tell him as to why you broke up could infuriate you further. Thank your lucky stars you're rid of him. Oh and I bet the latest gf won't last either.
Electric_Banana On February 05, 2024




, New Zealand
#8New Post! Apr 17, 2011 @ 21:07:51
@astrohamgirl Said

I broke up with my BF of almost 5 months about 2 weeks ago. Maybe before that. He just wasn't meeting my expectations. Blake (my ex) was also very self absorbed. When my grandmother broke her femur (she is turning 88 this week) he didn't give a damn. When my best friend's mom was being threatened by his father he told me to be careful not to hook up with my friend. (My friend Wyatt.)

And then when 3 family members that I loved dearly were in a car crash he never contacted me even though he knew and he promised he would. My uncle almost died for Christ sakes!

The stress of my family and friends plus Blake was making me ill all the time. I kept coming down with fevers and I was just worn down.

But the thing is I don't feel like I have any closure about this relationship. I ended it but I really don't think he understands why I ended it. My mom thinks I should explain it to him but I'm so confused.

I guess I'm also hurt because he now has a girlfriend who he he takes everywhere with him and he likes to torture me with that on Facebook. It's like rubbing in my face, "You weren't good enough to deserve this."

This whole process has been mentally degrading. And since you all have now read my story on our relationship can you please tell me what you think? Should I explain and get closure or leave it?


I'm bad about keeping a poker face when someone informs me someone they knew died.

It's not that I'm cold or thoughtless

It's just that I regard death as natural and somewhat believe that those dying are exiting from here only to find themselves in a better situation after realizing what we're in now is a prison of sorts.

I don't believe in heaven but do believe in other dimensions where most people are a bit more sane and functional.
GSnap On March 02, 2019




Over the Rainbow,
#9New Post! Apr 18, 2011 @ 00:29:43
Closure is overrated. When you break up with someone - that's your closure. The only good closure after a break up IMO is from within yourself. Seeking it externally is a lost cause most of the time, at the end of the day, it didn't work out...time to move on. Explaining yourself to him at this point, especially with him flaunting a new g/f, will likely only annoy him or he'll just ignore what you say. Nothing you have said makes it sound like he is compassionate...to put it bluntly, do you really think he is that concerened about it? Not sure why your mom thinks you need to explain yourself. He probably realizes he was an ass.

I agree with Electric Banana about the death thing - a lot of people just don't know how to handle it, and they simply do NOT know what to say to someone who is grieving a loss like that, but it doesn't necessarily make them 'bad' people. He might not have known what to say to console you, and could have been afraid of saying the wrong thing. And then there are others, like electric said, who don't view death the same way you might.

Other things you have said about him tho definitely makes me think this is a very good decision to have broken up with him. I just strongly advise leaving out the search for closure, and call it a day. It was only a five month relationship...I know that might seem long to you, but in the grand scheme of things that is a brief relationship. I'd really just let it go.

((HUGS))

EDIT: And please delete him from Facebook! That is not a good idea to keep an ex who is making you feel badly on your friendlist!
sTreetAngeL On January 24, 2022
root tedt ree





in a paradox,
#10New Post! Apr 18, 2011 @ 14:25:17
First of all, who gives a s*** if he "understands" why you ended it? YOU understand, and that's all that matters. It is the ONLY thing you should concentrate your energys, or thoughts on.

This guy is insensitive and uncaring.
The fact that he put zero engery into the fact that you almost lost people you love, yet he put much energy into rubbing your nose into his new relationship, should in it's SELF be the party you are having now. - For having the sense to get this guy out of your life.
I feel sorry for his new girl, - or any girl he hooks up with; especially if they are lonely and vulnerable, and don't have the strength that you do to do what is needed for themself and their own well being.

In addition, you've only known him five months; be glad you didn't invest years into this creep.

It sounds to me that you still like this guy? So I am very sorry it worked out like this for you. - What the f***! No I'm not sorry; I'm glad he showed you his true colors so early on. - We should all be so lucky!

Now forget him, and open yourself up to someone who deserves you. - And for god's sake, don't forget this lesson you've learned. (It might not feel it at the moment, but he really did do you a favor in the long run. )
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