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Breaking Up

She got engaged

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aneil On May 02, 2019




Freeport, Trinidad and Tobago
#1New Post! Jul 09, 2010 @ 00:43:22
About a month ago i made a forum about some relationship problems i was having. this is it here.

since then we've tried to talk a few times. i insist that the last time we saw each other we were practically exclusive and that she shouldnt have just stopped talking to me just like that.

she keeps on trying to claim that i dont give her freedom and that she wants to be able to date when she's in barbados and i supposedly knew that all along.

well anyway, she told a friend of hers online that shes engaged!

its a guy she used to like and supposedly "reconnected" with.
someone_else On August 30, 2012
Not a dude.


Deleted



American Alps, Washington
#2New Post! Jul 09, 2010 @ 00:47:10
I'm confused and I don't want to read a different thread!

So...she told her friend that she's engaged. Is the friend the guy she used to like? Or is that who she said she was engaged to?

And you said "I insist"...does that mean, that is what you think or that you demanded that you be exclusive?
aneil On May 02, 2019




Freeport, Trinidad and Tobago
#3New Post! Jul 09, 2010 @ 00:53:59
@someone_else Said

I'm confused and I don't want to read a different thread!

So...she told her friend that she's engaged. Is the friend the guy she used to like? Or is that who she said she was engaged to?

And you said "I insist"...does that mean, that is what you think or that you demanded that you be exclusive?



i'll explain it to you:

we started spending alot of time together around october last year, in feb. this year i wanted to get together but she said she's going Barbados in a few months and didnt want a long distance relationship, at the same time she said she would be hurt if i have a girlfriend when she's in Barbados.

In May we decided that neither of us would date anyone else and we would talk alot when she's in Barbados and when she comes back we could get together.

At about the middle of last month she started being distance, not texting or calling so i ask her a question about something i saw a guy write on her wall in facebook, she tells me i'm too jealous and possessive and she wants space.
I give her some space and try to apoligize after a while, then 1 day i get a text; she says she wants to talk again.

But we end up arguing and thats the last we spoke.

The friend she told is a guy that i know too.
someone_else On August 30, 2012
Not a dude.


Deleted



American Alps, Washington
#4New Post! Jul 09, 2010 @ 00:57:31
@aneil Said



The friend she told is a guy that i know too.



So there's 3 guys involved here? 1) You, 2) the guy friend and the 3) guy she's supposedly engaged to? Or did she tell the guy friend that she was engaged and didn't say who to?
aneil On May 02, 2019




Freeport, Trinidad and Tobago
#5New Post! Jul 09, 2010 @ 01:00:57
@someone_else Said

So there's 3 guys involved here? 1) You, 2) the guy friend and the 3) guy she's supposedly engaged to? Or did she tell the guy friend that she was engaged and didn't say who to?



well she described the guy she's supposedly engaged to and i think i know who it is.
another thing too, she blocked me from seeing her wall on facebook but another mutual friend (gotta love my friends, always helping me snoop ) gave me his password so that i could check up on her account.
on facebook she mentions nothing about the engagement or anything to do with romance.
someone_else On August 30, 2012
Not a dude.


Deleted



American Alps, Washington
#6New Post! Jul 09, 2010 @ 01:03:37
Sounds fishy, my friend. I don't know what to say. I could say something stupid like "If you love her, let her go..." or some other such drivel, but it doesn't help.

I firmly believe that if you're meant to be together, you will...even if it's not right now. Even if there's another person first.
aneil On May 02, 2019




Freeport, Trinidad and Tobago
#7New Post! Jul 09, 2010 @ 01:10:03
@someone_else Said

Sounds fishy, my friend. I don't know what to say. I could say something stupid like "If you love her, let her go..." or some other such drivel, but it doesn't help.

I firmly believe that if you're meant to be together, you will...even if it's not right now. Even if there's another person first.



yeah its wierd because on one hand she says i dont give her freedom, and she wants to be able to date, and then on the other hand shes engaged?
it doesnt make sense.

in any case, i always knew that someone had to come before me if ever we get into a relationship.
i think i do love her despite the fact that she handled this like a child but she's young and has to learn in her own way.
someone_else On August 30, 2012
Not a dude.


Deleted



American Alps, Washington
#8New Post! Jul 09, 2010 @ 01:17:00
I think you're handling it very maturely. Just give her her space and be her friend I guess. She'll either come around or she won't. Nice non advice eh?

aneil On May 02, 2019




Freeport, Trinidad and Tobago
#9New Post! Jul 09, 2010 @ 01:28:30
@someone_else Said

I think you're handling it very maturely. Just give her her space and be her friend I guess. She'll either come around or she won't. Nice non advice eh?




yeah, i'm just giving her space but as far as being her friend i'm not doing that; i find that she behaved immaturely and i'm not just going to ignore it just like that.

i think when she realizes that she's lost me as a friend she'll see what her actions caused and realize how immature she was.

the fact is that she doesn't want to see me again for the rest of the summer so i'm not going to waste time on her for now, i'm trying to get a company off the ground now so i want to focus on that.

i'm actually starting to enjoy the "freedom", i'm just chilling mostly and hanging out with friends so it's all good.

when the summer's over i'll see if i want to try to reconcile or just meet another girl.
i'm sad and jealous sometimes but i try not to dwell on it too much.

and as far as "non advice" goes, advice is just preachy stuff that no one listens to because they've made up their mind already.

non advice is the best because it makes you talk and talking about it is the only way to get through it.
aneil On May 02, 2019




Freeport, Trinidad and Tobago
#10New Post! Jul 09, 2010 @ 02:00:39
the hardest part right now is seeing her online on msn and knowing she's probably talking to him.
townie_guy On May 07, 2013

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#11New Post! Jul 11, 2010 @ 22:34:10
Just dont hold onto her and dismiss all other birds. You never know the right person may come along, without you even knowing it. At end of the day she's given you your freedom. And without dating other people you will never know if she is the right person or not.
LuckyCharms On February 13, 2020
Magically Delicious





,
#12New Post! Jul 11, 2010 @ 22:53:09
Yeah, you're better off just walking away. She obviously isn't worth your time or your love. There are, by far, better fish in the sea.
aneil On May 02, 2019




Freeport, Trinidad and Tobago
#13New Post! Jul 12, 2010 @ 01:20:50
@townie_guy Said

Just dont hold onto her and dismiss all other birds. You never know the right person may come along, without you even knowing it. At end of the day she's given you your freedom. And without dating other people you will never know if she is the right person or not.



yeah, i'm not going to waste time moping over her; of course it hurts like hell sometimes but more often i agree with what you're saying.

I have my freedom again.

I'm glad that i could date whoever i want.
I'm glad that she could date whoever she wants; cause that's the only way that we could ever know if it would have worked.

If she realizes that she f--ked up; then we have alot of years still to patch things up.
If not.....then whatever
aneil On May 02, 2019




Freeport, Trinidad and Tobago
#14New Post! Jul 12, 2010 @ 14:05:03
@LuckyCharms Said

Yeah, you're better off just walking away. She obviously isn't worth your time or your love. There are, by far, better fish in the sea.


i dont mind forgiving her eventually but she has to really want to be forgiven.
as it is i cant even talk to her so im not going to bother about her.
LuckyCharms On February 13, 2020
Magically Delicious





,
#15New Post! Jul 12, 2010 @ 21:32:27
@aneil Said

i dont mind forgiving her eventually but she has to really want to be forgiven.
as it is i cant even talk to her so im not going to bother about her.


I don't blame you for not being able to talk to her. I wouldn't be able to. I'd be filled with anger toward her if I were you.

However, as to the forgiveness thing, give it time. It's something that will do you more good than her. It's not good to carry around the bile for a long time. Remember, learn the lesson and then move on. It'll take a bit of time for that though.
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