SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING.

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from our employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees
well-trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING...(S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than
anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of
the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers ,who are especially skilled at
S.H.I.T. like this, will see that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can
handle. Since all of our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were
promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of
S.H.I.T. already.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. seriously will be placed in
the DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAM (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to get into D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. will have to go to the
EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.) and are encouraged to take
TECHNIQUES ON UTILIZING GOOD HABITS(T.O.U.G.H. S.H.I.T.)

If you enjoy taking S.H.I.T., you may be interested in job-training
others and begin giving S.H.I.T. In order to give S.H.I.T., you must
obtain a BEHAVIORAL UNDERSTANDING LECTURER LICENSE(B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).
Only those full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get all the S.H.I.T. jobs,
and can later apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING
(D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have any further questions, please feel free to direct them to
our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Sincerely,


BOSS IN GENERAL.
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING.
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Lol, we have that training where I work