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Religious absurdities

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Jennifer1984 On July 20, 2022
Returner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#1New Post! Jan 06, 2015 @ 18:32:53
I thought I'd start a thread for the absurdities that abound in religion. It's not about major issues or denigrating any particular faith, just a bit of light hearted bantering about how religion manages to shoot itself in the foot with its inconsistencies and self-contradiction, whilst at the same time continuing to take itself far too seriously.

Kicking off with a bit of number crunching:

2015: The number of years since the Angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and told her "Thou art highly favoured. The Lord is with thee"

2014: The number of years it took the Church to appoint a woman as a Bishop.
GreenAppleKing On April 23, 2015

Deleted



, United States (general)
#2New Post! Jan 06, 2015 @ 18:45:05
Perhaps the woman Bishop couldn't pass the sniff test with the same ease as the mother of our Lord. That said, there's no excuse for any assembly which calls itself "Christian" according to biblical standard to violate the instruction from 1 Timothy 2:12.
Jennifer1984 On July 20, 2022
Returner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#3New Post! Jan 06, 2015 @ 19:02:18
@GreenAppleKing Said

Perhaps the woman Bishop couldn't pass the sniff test with the same ease as the mother of our Lord. That said, there's no excuse for any assembly which calls itself "Christian" according to biblical standard to violate the instruction from 1 Timothy 2:12.



Perhaps, being a married woman, she's lucky to be alive, according to Levicticus, if she wasn't a virgin on her wedding night.

Or wore clothing of mixed fibres.

Or enjoyed the occasional plate of Winkles.

Or perhaps she once laddered her tights (tearing of clothes. We've all done it, haven't we girls..?) and God got very angry with her.

Perhaps she cut the grass right up to the border (reaping the field to the very edge). Ooooooh, that's a nasty one...


Using dishonest weights and scales shouldn't be penalised in my opinion. That's another one we've all done eh, girls..? Especially just after Christmas.

Dontcha just loooooooooooooove Levicticus..?
Willi On August 21, 2018




northinmind,
#4New Post! Jan 06, 2015 @ 19:22:44
@Jennifer1984 Said

I thought I'd start a thread for the absurdities that abound in religion. It's not about major issues or denigrating any particular faith, just a bit of light hearted bantering about how religion manages to shoot itself in the foot with its inconsistencies and self-contradiction, whilst at the same time continuing to take itself far too seriously.

Kicking off with a bit of number crunching:

2015: The number of years since the Angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and told her "Thou art highly favoured. The Lord is with thee"

2014: The number of years it took the Church to appoint a woman as a Bishop.


people kill for a God that blasted 2 cities to ruble.
I guess we need to feel needed, so we kill for God?
Allah?
chaski On about 13 hours ago
Stalker





Tree at Floydgirrl's Window,
#5New Post! Jan 06, 2015 @ 20:59:55
A guy swam around for 3 days in the stomach acids of a big fish.

What's just as funny is that while the OT clearly states it was a fish, various translations of the NT sometimes call it a fish and other times call it a whale.

Willi On August 21, 2018




northinmind,
#6New Post! Jan 06, 2015 @ 21:02:18
@chaski Said

A guy swam around for 3 days in the stomach acids of a big fish.

What's just as funny is that while the OT clearly states it was a fish, various translations of the NT sometimes call it a fish and other times call it a whale.




think in got a ride in a sub or spaceship?
chaski On about 13 hours ago
Stalker





Tree at Floydgirrl's Window,
#7New Post! Jan 06, 2015 @ 21:09:28
@Willi Said

think in got a ride in a sub or spaceship?


Willi On August 21, 2018




northinmind,
#8New Post! Jan 06, 2015 @ 21:50:13
@chaski Said




sky of blue
and sea of green.
Erimitus On July 01, 2021




The mind of God, Antarctica
#9New Post! Jan 07, 2015 @ 01:41:14
@chaski Said

A guy swam around for 3 days in the stomach acids of a big fish.

What's just as funny is that while the OT clearly states it was a fish, various translations of the NT sometimes call it a fish and other times call it a whale.




I believe that belly of the beast (whale) was idiom at the time for lost at sea or missing in action.

Anyway, The king asks Johana to run up to Nineveh and tell them to give up their god (moral code) and accept the Hebrew god. That would be like sending a Christian missionary to a Taliban stronghold and asking to give up Allah and accept Jesus. I just would not work out well. The smartest thing that Johana to do would be to get as far away from Nineveh as he could. And that is what he tried to do, and he might have succeeded if there hadn't been a storm.
chaski On about 13 hours ago
Stalker





Tree at Floydgirrl's Window,
#10New Post! Jan 07, 2015 @ 01:46:52
@Erimitus Said

I believe that belly of the beast (whale) was idiom at the time for lost at sea or missing in action.

Anyway, The king asks Johana to run up to Nineveh and tell them to give up their god (moral code) and accept the Hebrew god. That would be like sending a Christian missionary to a Taliban stronghold and asking to give up Allah and accept Jesus. I just would not work out well. The smartest thing that Johana to do would be to get as far away from Nineveh as he could. And that is what he tried to do, and he might have succeeded if there hadn't been a storm.


As a metaphor...aka parable.. the Jonah story is a good one... you cannot escape your responsibilities, trying to escape your responsibilities causes severe problems for everyone around you...

As historical story based in fact, it it utter nonsense... especially when the religion it belongs to cannot decide which version of historical events are the accurate correct ones.

And thus falls in the category of the OP.... Religious absurdities
Erimitus On July 01, 2021




The mind of God, Antarctica
#11New Post! Jan 07, 2015 @ 05:42:27
@chaski Said

As a metaphor...aka parable.. the Jonah story is a good one... you cannot escape your responsibilities, trying to escape your responsibilities causes severe problems for everyone around you...

As historical story based in fact, it it utter nonsense... especially when the religion it belongs to cannot decide which version of historical events are the accurate correct ones.

And thus falls in the category of the OP.... Religious absurdities


I, somehow, got the idea the story is based on fact.
psycoskunk On December 24, 2020
Funky-Footed Skunk





A fort made of stinky socks, C
#12New Post! Jan 07, 2015 @ 08:21:33
@chaski Said

A guy swam around for 3 days in the stomach acids of a big fish.

What's just as funny is that while the OT clearly states it was a fish, various translations of the NT sometimes call it a fish and other times call it a whale.



Pfft... That's nothing. Gepetto survived in Monstro's gut for a much longer time when he was trying to rescue Pinocchio from Pleasure Island.
Hitting40 On November 20, 2016




The middle of nowhere, United
#13New Post! Jan 07, 2015 @ 08:43:20
The Virgin Mary is the best one. If it was in this day and age, this "cough cough" lady, would of been summoned on Jeremy kyle faster than you could blink.

"who's the daddy" D.N.A tests revealed.....
Sifr On February 13, 2015




, India
#14New Post! Jan 07, 2015 @ 09:06:15
The best I've heard is by late great comedian George Carlin: "Religion has convinced us that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches every moment of our lives. He has a list of 10 things he does not want you to do. And if you do them, he'll send you to hell to burn and suffer for all of eternity BUT he LOVES you"
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