REASONS FOR CHEATING

You can love someone and beat them, control them, steal from them, deface them, etc. A good amount of people are not good, and to assume what an individual is capable or not capable of feeling based on moral purity is a little ridiculous.

A healthy relationship revolves on a balance between doing good to yourself and to your partner. The problems begin when the love spectrum focuses on one partner and as Leon articulated so well you need to give as well as receive in order to feel special and loved. This is ESPECIALLY true in a long term relationship, if one partner is feeling neglected long enough all it takes is one person to show them attention and suddenly feelings of excitement and lust can take over.

I can understand how cheating happens, but I don't sympathize with it or condone it. I've always thought of people who cheat as either weak or flawed individuals. No good person would ever let their feelings of lust dominate their respect and bond with their partner. If they do, they should be ashamed of themselves and take responsibility for their actions.

"You can love someone and beat them, control them, steal from them, deface them, etc. A good amount of people are not good, and to assume what an individual is capable or not capable of feeling based on moral purity is a little ridiculous."

Mate are you serious? To say that you love someone whom you beat, control, steal from, deface etc...that to me is not simply ridiculous, it's absurd.

No reason to cheat ever. If I see some gal I can't live without-I'll pack my bags and go.

Seriously.... Thank you.... I feel the same way about it. NO EXCUSES!!! make up all the reasons you want... you're still f'd up if you do it... could just leave. WE all get to choose. One of the hardest things for me to do is listen to someone that has cheated and done bad things in relationships talk about their fears of others doing it to them. I have even been the person that the fear has been expressed to. It's not that I don't understand that people can change and learn not to do such things... I just don't get why they had to learn that way in the first place. There are enough example of that silly-ness in movies and media and ...ohhh yeah... people around us...ha... Never-mind... I suppose...

my thoughts...

"To do...is to be O K with all possible outcomes...regardless if thought through or not"

NEVER CHEATED....never will... no reason to... ever.

-- good topic though -

Aye well said mate. I reckon if people simply didnt do (or say) to others things they wouldn't like someone to do (or say) to them then we would have a far healthier society.

Back to cheaters. People who cheat do so because it is what THEY decide. THEY are FREELY making that choice. No one is forcing them to cheat. If they feel they are not getting what they need from the relationship then they have a number of choices;
First up they can simply leave and seek what they feel is missing elsewhere.
Secondly they can simply remain within the relationship and accept that they will not necessarily have all of their 'needs' met, or
thirdly they can discuss with their partner what their concerns are, how they feel and what they think is missing. Depending on their partners reaction they can then as a couple choose to work on the relationship or they can end the relationship...

...But cheaters dont do this. They take the selfish and gutless way out and attempt to have it both ways. They make decisions based purely on what they think will most benefit them and they either dont care or dont even consider how their actions may impact upon others.

People who cheat always do so of their own free will. They are never forced to cheat, they choose to cheat, so to say that anyone else ought to take ANY of the responsibility for their actions, their decisions is a nonesense.

wow this topic just made me open my third bottle of wine. let me think this one through

No, there never is a good reason to cheat. Leave the relationship if all your needs are not being met, or take a freezing cold shower. People who cheat will make excuses for just about everything to justify themselves for being idiots. Relationships are like fine china. Once it is broken, you can try to put all the pieces back together again, but it will never be the same.

wow, i don't know how my comment insinuated that i had ever cheated or that I even condoned cheating.

hold your tongue before you accuse anyone of anything next time.

I wasn't accusing you of anything. I am posting from my phone and I accidently touched the 'quote' option, instead of the 'reply'.

Common sense would tell you the two posts have nothing in relation with each other. Maybe you could try thinking about that one, instead of jumping to conclusions.

hahaha, this cracks me up. so defensive girl! it was a misunderstanding then wasn't it? Just forgive me for not knowing that you're phone was doing you one over. I came to the conclusion based solely on the misuse of quotations, therefore producing such a reply.
that's where: "wow, i don't know how my comment insinuated that i had ever cheated or that I even condoned cheating."
came from.

Yes, it was a misunderstanding. I get this sometimes, since I post from my cell when I don't want to fire up the lap sometimes. Please excuse me if I have offended you at first.

its all good on my side
reminds me of damnyouautocorrect.com

no hard feelings!

Old thread so I can't remember or be arsed to read the whole thread to see if I already posted a comment so my comment is.

In my opinion most people cheat [which every person has their own definition of what cheating is], but let's go with sexual cheating is from what I've seen and heard is that the cheater always thinks the grass in greener on the other side mentality.

That said, it's easy to cheat sexually is quite easy to enjoy because it's much easier to please one person every night than to pleasure the same one every night.

The latter is a challenge that not many can achieve without imagination or want. The former can be done by anyone with only one basic move.

Finally, cheating never solves anything in the long run and that's fact. If you're thinking about cheating, leave then go do what you want but to take your partner down with you is just so lame and shows exactly what type of person the cheater really is and that's a narcissus because they are only thinking of 'themselves' and no one else in this situation.

Men and women aren't really all that different at all.

They both are driven by their heart and physical urges.

The main difference between them is in how they express their feelings and urges.