REASONS FOR CHEATING

People (be they men or women) ultimately cheat for the same reason...because they are selfish. Because they are the most important person in the world to them and they always put their own 'needs' or happinness first.

People who cheat are using their partner. They are seeking to have their cake and eat it too. If your partner isnt giving you the amount of sex you want then discuss it with them, accept it or break up with them and look for the sex you want elsewhere. If your partner isn't giving you the amount of attention you want etc etc etc then same deal.

What you shouldn't do is take from them what you want and then abuse their trust and risk causing them great hurt to have other stuff you want from someone else.

men want sex, women want diamonds.

Noticed here that everyone has nice little theories and blah blah blah. What we actually want are some first hand accounts of experiences from cheating and/or being cheated on. And dont tell me everyone on this site is perfect and in the perfect relationship cuz if so ur all a bunch of liars. Thank you now lets get the stories rolling.

Looking for a long term love is like a game of survivor where people vote themselves off.

In other words it's a numbers game or natural selection - people not suited for relationships will run away from the relationships that they commit themselves too.

People who are only looking for money won't want anything to do with you when you are poor.

Girls who base everything on appearance won't be available when your are fat.

So later in life once you've lost all that weight and have a stable living under your belt - the only person you came by in life that was worth having anything to do with will be the one that is there with you.

For myself and hubby, we have had talks about the "what if" situation. In previous relationships, we have both been cheated on, so we know what it's like to be on one side of the fence.

We have both flat out said that if our feelings for each other started to wane, we would end the relationship before we emotionally/sexually got involved with someone else. Knowing what it's like to be cheated on, we wouldn't want to do that to one another.

Cripes, if I wanted to cheat, it would be easy as hell, since his best friend(of 20yrs) has made it obvious in subtle and not so subtle ways that he has the hots for me(he too is married, but he and his wife have an 'open marriage' ). Not interested. I love my hubby just as much now, after 11yrs(9yrs married), then I did when we first told each other "I love you". Even more so really. We have been though much together and knowing that we are there for one another, I can't even fathom cheating on him.

Even for him, if he had wanted to, he could have cheated. He has been hit on many times by women...even AFTER they know he's married.

Well yeah once he is married he is like the forbidden fruit. SO women will want him more just because they cant have him. If anyone reading this is single, stick a false weddingring on and go out on the pull.

You can come up with all sorts of excuses for cheating and call them reasons but at the end of the day people cheat for one reason...it's because they are selfish. It's because they are the most important person in the world to them, because their happiness comes before anyone or anything else. By cheating they are saying that doing someting which brings them happiness is worth betraying the trust of another person, is worth causing another person immeasurable hurt, pain and torment.

Seriously, if you are in a relationship and you are not getting (insert what you feel is missing, or at a level that you are not 'happy' with eg sex, affection etc etc etc)then speak to your partner about it and look to address the issue. If the issue can't be addressed within the relationship then either accept it or end the relationship and then look for what you feel is missing elsewhere. To however remain within the relationship whilst cheating on your partner is appalling and incredibly selfish and dishonest...and it is using the other person.

I really can't understand how people who cheat can say things like "i really love him/her but..." and then go on to try and justify their cheating. How can you say you love someone and at the same time betray their trust and be prepared to cause them an incredible amount of hurt and pain etc...

People get complacent and co-dependent in long-term relationships. They let the new person provide the spark, and their old partner provide the security. I think most people stay because it's comfortable and too difficult to uproot their family and start a new life. I think cheaters love their partners, but they lack the self control and moral grounding to stop themselves from hurting their other half.

"They let the new person provide the spark, and their old partner provide the security. I think most people stay because it's comfortable and too difficult to...start a new life."

In other words they want to have their cake and eat it too. They take the easy way out and simply do whatever is best and easiest for them and dont care what impact their actions may have ontheir partner. How can this possibly be love? Love doesnt focus on the self and yet that is exactly what all cheaters do.

"I think cheaters love their partners, but they lack the self control and moral grounding to stop themselves from hurting their other half."

In my opinion if you can willingly betray the trust of smeone and hurt them for your own selfish gains then you simply do not love them. You really dont, for that's not what love is.

I will completely admit I didn't read any of ^^that^^. I tried, but after "Bottom lin3 is...", I just couldn't take it anymore. The keyboard comes with an "e" for a reason.

I think a lot of people get in a relationship for security not love. They live a secure life, but it misses the spark so they go else where. Where as if they had waited a while for the right person to come along instead of the first thing that showed its head they will have lead a happier life.

People who cheat on their partner/spouse are liars.

There are many "reasons" why people cheat, but there is no justification for it.
The reasons... power, narcissism, sex, money, revenge... many reasons...

Whatever the reason, cheaters are liars.

She was thinner, blonder and tighter.

Love is nurtured as much by giving it as receiving it. Often people, once married, forget this. When one person cuts back on the giving, even if unintentional, whatever form it is, then not only does the other person feel less loved, but the person giving less will start to feel less as well. And all that isnt even touching in how the other person will also begin to negatively respond.

Making a point, by both, of always continuing the display of love that pulled a couple together in the first place will go a long ways towards eliminating desires, by either, to look elsewhere.