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Pros and Cos of NOT having children

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EoWyN On April 01, 2015
Lucky Me!


Deleted



Under your bed,
#1New Post! Sep 02, 2014 @ 01:18:48
Let's list some, these days I'm debating on whether I want children or not, Some people tend to look at me odd if when I say I would be okay if I did not have children. Others tend to agree with me. A lot of women I speak to these days say they don't want children,there is no real reason I just don't want them.

So, Let's list the Pros and Cons of NOT having children...
Mothers out there how has your life changed? Do you think things would of been easier or better if you had not had children???
Electric_Banana On September 18, 2020




, New Zealand
#2New Post! Sep 02, 2014 @ 01:43:06
If you want my HONEST opinion - I wouldn't bother unless you have a great legacy of wealth stashed away to rescue that kid in the instance life ostracizes him and he can not find employment or financial aid.

Here is the falling of many whom find themselves stuck between the decision of killing themselves or taking up a gun and riding with gangs who have also stumbled into the same fate.

Here's an example:

You spend all resources on a good education for the kid.
The kid become a high paid doc.

Kid feels he can afford a decent sized family, a couple of cars for the family and large enough house for them all.

Kid takes out a loan on all this.

While working as a doctor certain folks coming and going get to know his religious/political agendas and don't agree with them.

Kid winds up with a (bogus) lawsuit for malpractice

Bankruptcy follows because he can't afford to keep up all those loans

People affiliated with the guy who sued for malpractice offer the bankrupt doc's kids and wife a better, richer life and larger d***.

Doc is now sleeping in a truck wondering if he should do himself in or run with a mob.

While you can only look down on your child from beyond the grave feeling horrible for him.
Cpat92 On August 16, 2020
It's all or nothing





Lauderhill, Florida
#3New Post! Sep 02, 2014 @ 01:43:52
I don't have kids, but I want kids one day.

Pros:

Happiness
New experiences
Leads to becoming a role model

Cons:

More stress
Less time for yourself (maybe idk)
More chores(until the kids reach a certain age)
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#4New Post! Sep 02, 2014 @ 01:53:00
i don't have kids myself, i have kids it is a lot of responsibility. not like have a puppy. once you have a kid, you are stuck him or her for life. you can't return a kid to pet shop after him or her. i know from experience, when i was born after awhile. during this time, we had a dog ( i barely remember see a the dog's tail, when it past by my brother and i's bedroom. ), one day, the dog ran way, it was named happy. anyway, bring up a child and keep a dog expensive. the parents almost condersiding donating me to a pet shop. i am glad happy ran away.

you are still young enough to wait have kids. you could wait in 30's, to have one, or get a puppy. what you are feeling is normal. if you are not ready, don't worry about it. you always read about parenthood in books and articles, watch dvds. that will you a sense of what prepare for. only way, you are ready when you are pregency. you feel the baby inside you. the odds, you get rosemary's baby, pretty good. maybe?
Electric_Banana On September 18, 2020




, New Zealand
#5New Post! Sep 02, 2014 @ 01:58:38
@twilitezone911 Said

the odds, you get rosemary's baby, pretty good. maybe?



More like the odds our children will be FED TOO Rosemary's baby.
Electric_Banana On September 18, 2020




, New Zealand
#6New Post! Sep 02, 2014 @ 02:01:15
I'm happy to sit, aid and play Big Brother to others kids whom are sort of floating due to parents not being old enough to deal with them, imprisoned or maybe the kids have even been orphaned.

I would rather care for those who are already here seeking care them pump even more into an already over-populated environment.
JorieJukebox On about 16 hours ago
...





Right Here, Not There,
#7New Post! Sep 02, 2014 @ 04:22:00
Honestly, I am afraid to think of where I'd be at this point in my life, had I not had my youngest. I was not heading into a good place, I'd have probably lost my job, and thusly my apartment... And I was kind of beyond caring.
About a second and a half after reading 'pregnant' on the Clear Blue Easy test stick, my entire outlook changed. Gave up everything cold turkey. Made healthier choices...
Since I've had him, I've also hit some milestones, however late, in my life... I kind of Peter Panned it until then...
Would I have ever finally grown up and got my driver's license? My first car? My first house? Seriously doubt it.

Not all choices for parenthood come down to all this, but this is just my story, abridged.
Conflict On about 6 hours ago




Alcalá de Henares, Spain
#8New Post! Sep 02, 2014 @ 09:01:52
I want children, but only when I am financially secure and I now I can raise them in a reasonable community. By this, I mean, if I can rear them among people that don't crave power or prestige. Those are the worst kind. To have a fair and feasible environment and the means to give your children a life of fun and interest are the biggest considerations for any would be parents, in my experience.
Hypnotica On June 11, 2020

Banned



Steel City (Sheffield), United
#9New Post! Sep 02, 2014 @ 12:03:10
@Conflict Said

I want children, but only when I am financially secure and I now I can raise them in a reasonable community. By this, I mean, if I can rear them among people that don't crave power or prestige. Those are the worst kind. To have a fair and feasible environment and the means to give your children a life of fun and interest are the biggest considerations for any would be parents, in my experience.


On paper that sounds fine and dandy. But in reality, if your children then move from your fair and feasable environment, they are actually gonna be at a disadvantage. They wont know how to deal with the s*** the world throws at them.
Drgnfly83 On September 02, 2014




, Virginia
#10New Post! Sep 02, 2014 @ 12:09:40
You know, I think about this all the time. If I had it to do all over again, would I choose to bring a little life into my family. The answer is yes, every single time. I never knew love, real honest, true, lay down my life love until my blind date with my daughter. The day they handed her to me, was the greatest day of my life. I felt like God had decided to bless me and my life and our family. While some days are harder than others, I would never trade this feeling for anything in the world. While as hard as it is to be a parent, the reward of it out-weighs any negative you might find.

If "you" (not the OP, just generalizing) are a selfish person, then I am not sure I would opt for a kid. Once you bring another human being into your world, it is no longer about you and your life. You now live for that little baby. If "you" enjoy private time, sleep, going out, having friends, being clean, and many other things, lol...I would tell you to think twice. I no longer have private time, nights of sleep, sleeping in, dates with 2 AM, my original group of friends, or the 30 minute showers anymore. My original group of friends gave up on me once they realized I was no longer able to go out and "party" (Extremely pleased they are no longer a part of my life). I no longer get time to myself. I find my time goes to cleaning, laundry, washing bottles, or whatever else has piled up because my time is spent with my little lady love. I am okay with not having time to myself, because she makes it all worth it. When I said I lost my friends, I have since gained a different group of friends, which I love dearly. They are now known as my friends with little ones or AKA "Mother-friends"!! Again, I am okay with the different group I now regularly hang with. They are all about their little ones in the their life as well and could care less about that party life.

The last few things I want to note.....

I don't care how amazing of a marriage you are in, or how crappy of a marriage you are in.....babies are a lot of work, a lot of give and take, a lot of sleepless nights....lack of sleep causes tempers to run short, and in turn brings on arguments. Be prepared. Perfect marriage or not, you will fight, about stupid stuff that has zero baring on anything....just because. Babies add strain to marriages at least for the first few weeks/months. It is hard work. It isn't a walk in the park....but it is worth it.

Lastly, make sure you are financially able to take care of a child. Make sure you have room to wiggle if things don't go as planned. By that, I mean....make sure you can afford formula if breastfeeding doesn't happen to work out. I mean, why on earth would you buy formula when your body produces free food for your child? Well, to be honest, sometimes, you can't help it. Sometimes, it just doesn't work. Hence, wiggle room. Everything doesn't always go as planned, and if it does, kuddo's to you for being the worlds only person to have everything fall in place in your life all the time. Kuddos!

Those are the things I can say about bringing a small itty bitty into your families. I don't think you can mentally be prepared for it ever, even after said little ones arrive. It is forever a learning process, but a fun one! Good luck in your decision.
Eaglebauer On July 23, 2019
Moderator
Deleted



Saint Louis, Missouri
#11New Post! Sep 02, 2014 @ 12:28:24
I never really truly feared anything until I became a father because until then I never had anything that big to lose.

I never really truly felt loved until I became a father either.

These are my experiences though. When I wasn't a parent sometimes I wished I was. Now that I am I haven't wished I wasn't.

In the end though, it's no one's decision but yours to make if it's the right thing for you.
GreenAppleKing On April 23, 2015

Deleted



, United States (general)
#12New Post! Sep 02, 2014 @ 13:38:41
In the worst of times you may have to rescue your adult step-daughter from the her live-in man-child boyfriend.

That's what my wife and I did yesterday.

The girls (wife 2xstep-daughters) and I stayed up last night---sitting around our dining room table and ate take-out and made dumb jokes.

Even crisis events don't have to be.

I can't see the down-side of having children.
x_Laura_x On February 19, 2020
Majestic Unicorn





Nowhere, United Kingdom
#13New Post! Sep 02, 2014 @ 17:54:38
EoWyN On April 01, 2015
Lucky Me!


Deleted



Under your bed,
#14New Post! Sep 02, 2014 @ 19:31:44
@GreenAppleKing Said

In the worst of times you may have to rescue your adult step-daughter from the her live-in man-child boyfriend.

That's what my wife and I did yesterday.

The girls (wife 2xstep-daughters) and I stayed up last night---sitting around our dining room table and ate take-out and made dumb jokes.

Even crisis events don't have to be.

I can't see the down-side of having children.



we need to msg
Corey On October 07, 2019




Sacramento, California
#15New Post! Sep 03, 2014 @ 07:10:56
Having children is definitely a growth experience. I look at the me before I became a father and the me after I became a father and raised children is a big difference. I am much more compassionate and willing to help others, I tolerate life's little problems more easily. I have some thing much bigger than myself to worry about. Children I feel expanded my world view and gave me many things to learn about. Understanding what a difference parenthood made for me, I know that I would never vote for a Presidential candidate who was not a parent. If I try to balance the gains of parenthood against the minor inconveniences of sleep deprivation, expense, arguments, and problems, there is really no comparison. Arguably, because of many personal circumstances some individuals may just not be able to adjust to having children. And if that is the case, parenthood may not be for that individual. Parenthood should be a personal choice.

Corey.
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