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People that criticize you, yet never say anything kind

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4000Earthquakes On April 25, 2009

Banned



Joshua Tree, California
#1New Post! Feb 19, 2009 @ 04:14:40
I noticed that my sister always says negative things about me, to me, whenever we talk.

We were talking about me coming to visit, and I said "I could cook for you guys!" and she said "You don't like to cook, you like to burn things. You always burn everything".

Huh? Um, I've been cooking for many years, and I've never had that problem, many people have complimented my cooking -- but she is bound and determined to eek away at every single thing I might do well -- and insult it -- and take away my self-esteem. Why?

Do you have a boss like that?
Do you have a mother or father or sister or brother like that?
Do you have a friend like that?
Do you have a co-worker like that?

What do you think?
What are your words to others to encourage them to recognize this situation -- and not let it get to them?
backseatcynic On January 19, 2010




Henryetta, Oklahoma
#2New Post! Feb 19, 2009 @ 04:21:35
My ex-boss, but he's got no hope. He's a lost cause. That's why he's my ex-boss.
4000Earthquakes On April 25, 2009

Banned



Joshua Tree, California
#3New Post! Feb 19, 2009 @ 04:23:06
When you are dealing with it -- how should you respond?

I decided to hang up on her -- whenever she starts. Do you think this is a wise way of handling it?

How would you suggest dealing with someone face-to-face -- when they do it?
backseatcynic On January 19, 2010




Henryetta, Oklahoma
#4New Post! Feb 19, 2009 @ 04:26:07
You have to confront them with your problems, or else they'll eat away at you inside.
4000Earthquakes On April 25, 2009

Banned



Joshua Tree, California
#5New Post! Feb 19, 2009 @ 04:28:35
What "problems"? I don't have a problem, she does. Always criticizing.

What if she is always drunk when she says that crap? Stop taking the calls and end the relationship? With your sister?

What about with a boss, or coworker?
backseatcynic On January 19, 2010




Henryetta, Oklahoma
#6New Post! Feb 19, 2009 @ 04:35:18
The problem is the stress it's causing you. That's what I'm talking about. And if she's drunk, you know people are never sociable in that condition. That's why it takes being drunk yourself to put up with it. But she is still your sister. You need to talk to her when she has a clear mind.
With a boss is difficult, especially when the entire company is him and you. I left him. But she's sister, and always will be. So you have to deal with the bad, but because of the good (being sisters) you'll get through it.
ReAdSaLoT On September 23, 2019




,
#7New Post! Feb 19, 2009 @ 04:38:05
My mother was this way, she thought that she was helping me. I miss her everyday, so don't take this wrong. Finally, I confronted her in my late thirties. I said,"Mama, you think that every time I make a mistake people will see it as a reflection of you as a mother. You raised me well, taught me right from wrong; let it go. You must be a good mom your children have done well for themselves and work very hard to be good people. You and Daddy did your best; that was excellent in my book." We got past the issue that day and until her death, except for a few minor motherly comments, things were great.
I didn't confront her when we were angry; I spoke up when I thought she was open to listening. Confront with anger, you'll get anger in return. You know that you can cook, she may be jealous. My sister in law is a freakin lunatic; with her, I just gave up. ( It's the family consensus that the woman is nuts) Insecurities in oneself cause people to act this way; it's usually them, not you.
Catcherintherye On December 11, 2010




Bumfuk, United States (general
#8New Post! Feb 19, 2009 @ 04:42:29
I have that problem with my Dad.He criticizes every thing I do.He goes off on me because he thinks I'm a spaz when I knock something over.He has never ever told me he loved me or was proud of what I've done and even now when I succeed at things I'm doing,he dismisses it as being asinine or no way to make a decent living with that.I gave up on him when I was fifteen.I went to school,skipped an entire grade while managing three letters in three varsity sports, none of which he ever went to see me play.I also worked all of the hours I could get at the hospital so I could buy my own car.He never gave me any credit for anything.I decided that it wasn't worth my time or energy to defend myself to a man who was determined to rip me a new a** hole every other night at dinner for one stupid mistake I had committed or in some case didn't do at all.
ReAdSaLoT On September 23, 2019




,
#9New Post! Feb 19, 2009 @ 05:00:12
Catcher- if you're doing better in life than your father, his insecurities are the problem. My husband's father was like this, called him stupid, etc. My family raised my husband's self esteem. He was ADD, when all children who acted differently were hidden and called retarded. This embarrassed his father. Time told the truth; my husband is a genius. It took someone to believe in him to bring that out. Someone in your life must think you're great, listen to them. The criticizers have their own issues and won't empathize with your problems. Look for positive people, life will get better and your father's voice will become a whisper.
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