Not worthy of a title

The hardcore hate inside of me
is building up so you can see
Being rid of "friends" and angry poems
Im just hopeing all of this will show em
Show people how i really feel
After everytime they chew at my heel
Im sick of people pretending to be
That oh so great, wonderful friend to me
Take the bad and leave the good
I dont think i have fully understood
Understood why people do this to me
But finally now i can really see
They do it as to not hurt your feelings
f*** that, Id rather have you hang me from a ceiling
Pretending you care hurts more than you not
People that do this, i hope you rot


--sooo yea really short and not so much of a good rhyming going on...which i try to aim for in my poems but didn;t work out so well here...and also i know all my poems keep repeating the same feelings haha oh well i guess....dont be too cruel haha but i do want opinions..thanx-

I really really think you have the hang of poetry have you ever sent one in for publishing or are you just practicing at this time,I use to write poetry in school and was told I was very good, go with it why don't you try to get a professional opinion and just keep at her, you absolutely have what it takes even if it needs polishing flow with your talent let IT take you don't take it, get my meaning, I for one really enjoy reading your poetry it's so REAL right from the core.JMO And the most important point is that you got your point thru I felt what you were saying. How about the title " All The Great Pretenders"

It's not your usual work, but definitely good stuff..
so your work keeps repeating it's self?
That's because you have so many unanswered questions just eating you up inside.
...but that's the beauty of a good writer, being able to say basically the same thing, over and over again, in different words each time.
...bet through going back time and again, and analyzing your work, you are giving yourself some good therapy ~ definitely learning things about yourself.

Alot of anger and confusion..but there's no such thing as a wrongly written poem.
..it's about your secret places..no one can tell you how to write you soul.

Your post implies that you have other poems? Now, I haven't read any other ones, but judging from what you say, that "all my poems keep repeating the same feelings", I was wondering if those feelings were portrayed in the same way?
In your current poem, the feelings are <i>told</i>. It would be nice if they were somehow <i>shown</i>.

For example,
"Id rather have you hang me from a ceiling"
Shows the pain you'd rather endure than being told a lie. That's pretty powerful. It creates a stronger emotion for the reader.
You could say something like this instead:
Toxic fumes of hatred spiral
its course down my spine
as it hangs me from the ceiling
of lies you think are fine.

Also,
"hate inside of me is building up"
Maybe you could add some literary devices. In this case, a <i>simile</i> would work. Add more to that line.
You could say something like this instead:
hate inside of me is building up
like a (insert comparison here).

Oh wait, I just realized that your posting style and rhyme structure conflicts with my example above. Oh well, you get my point, right?

Hell, you could even try making a poem that doesn't rhyme after every line. That's something new.

Oops, double post.

this poem is as good as the others that you have written and posted here, which I have read...Poems for me are to some extent what we are feeling inside, thus they echo are emotions...even though it is filled with anger I still enjoyed reading, keep writing.

Exactly!
And in my opinion, not meant to be tampered with unless by the author due to his/her own personal disatisfaction for whatever reason.

I too write, and you may have a look in my profile under started topics..a good maybe 16 of them or so..to get ideas, or just to browse and compare.
Yours here however, is very good work.
..remember too that adding/deleting words, can change the entire context of what you are trying to convey.
..this particular peice seems to have been written in a moment of passion - I would leave it alone.

I agree with you there, sometimes that which is written in a moment of passion speaks the loudest...Again, you are correct changing a word or phrase can change the affect and meaning of the poem, and in the end, it is all up to the creator.