Yeah, so my parents had a huge fight the other day over how bad their marriage has been going. Naturally, I didn't know this until yesterday since I don't live at home anymore. Anyway, I'm surprised they made it to 20 years without killing each other. Apparently, my father snapped and blew up on my mom and brought up every single emotion he's bottled up since who knows when. Anyway, long story short, they're thinking of divorcing, my sisters are emotional wrecks, and I'm the only one who agrees to their decision. But I'm actually pretty upset about the whole thing since it won't be the same without my father home.
I just wanted to ask how I should react to the whole thing. I mean, I'm old enough to understand why.
Has anyone here gotten divorced and how did your children deal with it. Some advice would help. Thanks
Any reaction you have is normal - and I'm sorry this is happening to you and your family.
As an older sibling, you may feel able to tell your parents you hope they will have some counselling before they finally do call it quits.
Essentially it's between your mum and dad, however, it would be ideal they left no stone unturned to resolve this before they finally do call it quits. If you feel strong enough to encourage your parents to have some counselling, do so. I would understand perfectly if you said you weren't up to this though.
The main way a divorce impacts on a family is not the decision itself, in my experience, but what transpires afterwards. If one parents moves out but keeps in touch with the children on a regular basis it can be quite positive. Personally, I spent more quality time with my dad in my teenaged years and early 20's because he moved out. If my parents were still married, I doubt I would know my father as well as I do now.
Ideally both parents support their children and don't insist their kids take sides. Unfortunately in our family, my parents spoke badly of each other for years after the decision was made & that meant my sister and I often doubted both our parents intentions and love for us. If I had my time back, every time my parents said something about each other to me, I would have told them I didn't need to hear it. But I didn't know that at 15.
Your parents have a responsibility to ensure this decision - whatever it is - impacts on you and your siblings as little as possible. Be honest about how you feel with your family and encourage them to do the same. There's not much more I can say really, except that I hope you stay strong and have some good friends & other family members you can talk to.