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My parents are getting a divorce :(

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hazuki0chan On July 18, 2012
Zombie Slayer





San Francisco, California
#1New Post! Mar 05, 2009 @ 04:02:36
Yeah, so my parents had a huge fight the other day over how bad their marriage has been going. Naturally, I didn't know this until yesterday since I don't live at home anymore. Anyway, I'm surprised they made it to 20 years without killing each other. Apparently, my father snapped and blew up on my mom and brought up every single emotion he's bottled up since who knows when. Anyway, long story short, they're thinking of divorcing, my sisters are emotional wrecks, and I'm the only one who agrees to their decision. But I'm actually pretty upset about the whole thing since it won't be the same without my father home.

I just wanted to ask how I should react to the whole thing. I mean, I'm old enough to understand why.

Has anyone here gotten divorced and how did your children deal with it. Some advice would help. Thanks
aceuvclubs On August 22, 2020
You with the face!





Seattle, Washington
#2New Post! Mar 05, 2009 @ 04:07:48
My parents divorced when i was 15...

Thankfully i got a car for myself the very next year

If you love both of your parents, its important to keep the time you spend with them even so one parent doesn't feel the other is preferred

It's a complicated process for the kids, even when you're grown up.
tickleme On January 28, 2014




somewhere in the world., Antar
#3New Post! Mar 05, 2009 @ 04:08:39
I am product of parents who were constantly bickering and at each others throats, this had a devestating effect on me and my childhood and the way in which i grew up.
About 18 months ago my parents decided to seperate, i live with my father and my mother lives about 1600kms away and i dont get to see her often.
I miss her very much but its so much better now, there are no arguments and conflicts, peace and quiet all the time.
Divorce and seperation isnt always seen in a positive light and it sure is hard for everyone involved but it can lead to wonderful results in the future.
Be strong!
Allyson On January 20, 2010

Deleted



, Michigan
#4New Post! Mar 05, 2009 @ 04:13:10
thats sad. I think just to be there if one wants to talk,and who know it might even cool over
loveis On January 15, 2010
brat-inella


Deleted



In the mirror,
#5New Post! Mar 05, 2009 @ 04:56:28
@Allyson Said

thats sad. I think just to be there if one wants to talk,and who know it might even cool over



That's true Allyson, because the OP did say they were only 'thinking' about it.

I wish your family well though.
hazuki0chan On July 18, 2012
Zombie Slayer





San Francisco, California
#6New Post! Mar 05, 2009 @ 05:31:14
thanks guys!
x_Laura_x On July 30, 2021




Nowhere, United Kingdom
#7New Post! Mar 05, 2009 @ 06:52:06
How old are your sisters, if you don't mind me asking?

My parents divorced when I was 10/11 and I took it very, very badly. I was one of those kids who thought that their parents would be married forever and everything was wonderful. I think the hardest part of it was that I knew that my mum was cheating on my dad before she even told us.

It caused me a lot of problems in later life, I had a lot of problems with being unhappy and when I finally saw a shrink about it, they traced all my emotions back to my parents getting divorced and everything that came with that.

I'm really sorry I didn't mean to write that much about myself

Anyways what I'm saying is if your sisters are young just look out for them and make sure that they're dealing with it OK

You said your parents are only thinking about it, so there's time for things to get better.

hazuki0chan On July 18, 2012
Zombie Slayer





San Francisco, California
#8New Post! Mar 05, 2009 @ 07:04:12
@x_Laura_x Said

How old are your sisters, if you don't mind me asking?

My parents divorced when I was 10/11 and I took it very, very badly. I was one of those kids who thought that their parents would be married forever and everything was wonderful. I think the hardest part of it was that I knew that my mum was cheating on my dad before she even told us.

It caused me a lot of problems in later life, I had a lot of problems with being unhappy and when I finally saw a shrink about it, they traced all my emotions back to my parents getting divorced and everything that came with that.

I'm really sorry I didn't mean to write that much about myself

Anyways what I'm saying is if your sisters are young just look out for them and make sure that they're dealing with it OK

You said your parents are only thinking about it, so there's time for things to get better.




it's ok. I was asking for advice anyway. Uh, my sisters are 17, 14, and 12. They're all younger than me. I'm the oldest. I've called them all to see how they're hanging, and they all cried to me. I don't really know what to do since I'm taking it hard too but not that much. At least I haven't cried over it. I called my dad this morning and he said it was just one of those days when everything's going wrong so I guess he just needed to vent, but he said that my mom's still upset over it and that he might actually let him go but he's not sure... we'll see how it goes.

Thanks for the advice, love! I appreciate it
x_Laura_x On July 30, 2021




Nowhere, United Kingdom
#9New Post! Mar 05, 2009 @ 07:06:47
@hazuki0chan Said

it's ok. I was asking for advice anyway. Uh, my sisters are 17, 14, and 12. They're all younger than me. I'm the oldest. I've called them all to see how they're hanging, and they all cried to me. I don't really know what to do since I'm taking it hard too but not that much. At least I haven't cried over it. I called my dad this morning and he said it was just one of those days when everything's going wrong so I guess he just needed to vent, but he said that my mom's still upset over it and that he might actually let him go but he's not sure... we'll see how it goes.

Thanks for the advice, love! I appreciate it



I cried a lot... I think it's OK to cry
hallucinogenic_lipstick On July 30, 2021
Cocksocket.





Ely, Cambridgeshire, United Ki
#10New Post! Mar 05, 2009 @ 07:32:36
The best thing my parents ever did was divorce, sometimes it's a blessing in disguise.

Who wants to see their parents unhappy all the time?
sunandsurf13 On June 29, 2009

Deleted



Sydney, Australia
#11New Post! Mar 05, 2009 @ 08:41:18
@hazuki0chan Said

Yeah, so my parents had a huge fight the other day over how bad their marriage has been going. Naturally, I didn't know this until yesterday since I don't live at home anymore. Anyway, I'm surprised they made it to 20 years without killing each other. Apparently, my father snapped and blew up on my mom and brought up every single emotion he's bottled up since who knows when. Anyway, long story short, they're thinking of divorcing, my sisters are emotional wrecks, and I'm the only one who agrees to their decision. But I'm actually pretty upset about the whole thing since it won't be the same without my father home.

I just wanted to ask how I should react to the whole thing. I mean, I'm old enough to understand why.

Has anyone here gotten divorced and how did your children deal with it. Some advice would help. Thanks



Any reaction you have is normal - and I'm sorry this is happening to you and your family.

As an older sibling, you may feel able to tell your parents you hope they will have some counselling before they finally do call it quits.
Essentially it's between your mum and dad, however, it would be ideal they left no stone unturned to resolve this before they finally do call it quits. If you feel strong enough to encourage your parents to have some counselling, do so. I would understand perfectly if you said you weren't up to this though.

The main way a divorce impacts on a family is not the decision itself, in my experience, but what transpires afterwards. If one parents moves out but keeps in touch with the children on a regular basis it can be quite positive. Personally, I spent more quality time with my dad in my teenaged years and early 20's because he moved out. If my parents were still married, I doubt I would know my father as well as I do now.

Ideally both parents support their children and don't insist their kids take sides. Unfortunately in our family, my parents spoke badly of each other for years after the decision was made & that meant my sister and I often doubted both our parents intentions and love for us. If I had my time back, every time my parents said something about each other to me, I would have told them I didn't need to hear it. But I didn't know that at 15.

Your parents have a responsibility to ensure this decision - whatever it is - impacts on you and your siblings as little as possible. Be honest about how you feel with your family and encourage them to do the same. There's not much more I can say really, except that I hope you stay strong and have some good friends & other family members you can talk to.
SimplyxComplicated On July 20, 2021




Fort Worth, Texas
#12New Post! Mar 05, 2009 @ 09:03:58
My parents divorced when I was 5, I dont remember much of him even being there, so I dont know.. but from what I do remember, I can see why they divorced, regardless of the one reason my mother gave me. Im sure they would have divorced eventually. Even to this day, I still hear both of them b**** about one another. Depending on how old your siblings are, and how your father was with them, theyll take it differently, most definitely.

With me and my sister, my father didnt really help the situation. He had a habit of coming and going from our lives, a lot. He always lived in the area, it was just a matter of him "wanting" to come see us or whatever. And, he'd take turns favoring one of us over the other. He still does it, actually. He and my sister got into a fight just this weekend about it. They keep blowing each other off. They're just WAY too much a like. I love my sister to death, but she's like a 17 year old girl clone of him.

And, since their divorce, my mother has been married two more times. Neither one of them do my sister and I like, at all. My mom's second husband, they dated for like 10 years before they got married. When they finally did, they got an annulment 6 months later, because he told her he was gay. Why he waited until after they dated for so long AND got married, I still dont know, but my mother didnt take it very well. She started taking it out on me and my sister. A few years later, she met my stepdad, online. At first when they started dating, she didnt tell us about him. When we found out and met him, my sister and I got bad vibes from him from the get-go.
Not long after we met him, they got married. They're still married today, but my sister and I dislike him a lot more now than we did then. When they first got married, for 2 and a half years, he hit only my sister. It pissed me off SO much, because one, he wouldnt touch me, no matter how much I provoked him to leave my sister alone AND my mother left my father for hitting HER but when my stepdad hits my sister, and they start fighting, my mother ran to her mothers or her sisters and hid for a few hours. Eventually, after one of his beatings, CPS got called on him by our school. Magically he stops. Go figure. And then when they backed off, he started again.

Anyways, needless to say, my sister and I didnt take my mothers relationships very well. The only good thing that came out of them is that her and I are closer than ever. Sorry I said so much.. I kind of realized that most of it is irrelevant to what you were saying in your OP... but that was just my experience with divorce...
Heath3r On February 21, 2010




Somewhere Sunny, California
#13New Post! Mar 05, 2009 @ 15:46:19
@hazuki0chan Said

Yeah, so my parents had a huge fight the other day over how bad their marriage has been going. Naturally, I didn't know this until yesterday since I don't live at home anymore. Anyway, I'm surprised they made it to 20 years without killing each other. Apparently, my father snapped and blew up on my mom and brought up every single emotion he's bottled up since who knows when. Anyway, long story short, they're thinking of divorcing, my sisters are emotional wrecks, and I'm the only one who agrees to their decision. But I'm actually pretty upset about the whole thing since it won't be the same without my father home.

I just wanted to ask how I should react to the whole thing. I mean, I'm old enough to understand why.

Has anyone here gotten divorced and how did your children deal with it. Some advice would help. Thanks




Im sorry to hear about your parents. there is no one way for someone to act. everyond deals with things very differently. i think the most important thing is be there for your sisters. they are younger and probably dont understand and they probably just want it to work so that they are happy. let your parents work it out themselves. just make sure your there for your sisters.
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