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young_nick On December 11, 2010
The Dude





Auckland, New Zealand
#1New Post! Nov 05, 2009 @ 13:06:47
5 months ago, I showed my best friend a website called grouphug.
It's a website where you can go an anonymously "confess" whatever's on your mind and the website displays it. It's truly depressing to read through it.

She and I, her name's Stevie, got along very very well. We had known each other a while, but never really been that close up until then.
One night she left a confession on grouphug saying "I'm falling for my best friend :]"

One thing led to another, and we realised we really liked each other.
One day she came around, and in the middle of watching a movie together we kissed. I had never wanted anything so much. That night we lay in my bed and stared at each other in the moon light. I asked her out that night, we became a couple. That was the 7th of June.

Fast forward a month, we're the happiest couple in the world. We devote sundays to each other and she usually comes around to my house. We just make out, take my dog for a walk, watch movies, or play cards. We pretty much just enjoy each other, it's perfect.

After two months, three months, pretty much the same. We're totally in love. We'll send big txts to each other in the middle of the night when we think the other is asleep. She calls me when she has nightmares. We make pizza for dinner and take photos of us smiling together. Eventually, I introduce her to the friends of mine she doesn't know, and start bringing her to parties. She makes friends with them really fast. I'm the guy with the cool girlfriend. We are the couple that always turns up to the party together. We have sex. It's amazing. I am totally in love with this girl and she's totally in love with me.

Then, she wants me to meet her dad. We go away for a week to her dads house, with her brother and sister, who I get to know, and who seem to like me a lot. Even her dad likes me, even though I'm sleeping in the same bed as his daughter. While we're there, is our four month anniversary. I meet her auntie and uncle, they seem to like me too. Her cousins like me. I'm pretty popular with the Watson family right now.

But while we were away at her dads place, we kind of started to get annoyed at each other. We hardly ever get annoyed, but there we are, sitting in uncomfortable silence watching The Office.
Despite that, of course, we still love each other. I can't imagine ever not loving her.

After we get back home, we start our routine again, but it's different now. She hardly ever wants to kiss me, we start to argue. I have no idea what it is, but it hurts.
Over time it gets worse. Each week, she gets more distant. Every time I look at her I want to kiss her. I adore her. Every time she looks at me she just gets annoyed. I don't know what I've done.

Last weekend I went to the beach with her. I got a grand total of one kiss all day. She told me she wanted to have a talk that night, to tell me some things she "wanted me to know."
Then she tells me how she doesn't have fun anymore. Everything's always the same. I sleep in until midday, I'm wasting my life. I don't have a job. I don't have a car to take her places. And somehow, she doesn't feel the same anymore.

I say I want to fix this, I want to sort it out. She says she's been trying to sort it out for a month now. I start going to bed earlier, waking up earlier, I get an interview with a uni to take a course in Digital Media next year. I've started to do something with my life. It sounds stupid, but it's for her.

But simply put, she just doesn't feel the excitement anymore.

I'm devastated. It's 2am here, which makes it the 6th of November. Tomorrow, the 7th, is out 5 month anniversary. A mutual friend is having a massive birthday party then. Stevie tells me she does love me, but if the spark isn't there when we're together at the party, then she can't carry on going out with me.

Despite the emptiness she feels now, I still feel full of love. I still adore her, she's my rock, she keeps me sane, she's my best friend, who I turn to with everything. Now I'm faced with the very real possibility of losing her.

I can't sleep. I can't concentrate. I'm hardly eating. I'm hardly talking to anyone. I couldn't cry when my grandfather died, yet thinking of losing Stevie has had me bawling my eyes out all day yesterday and today.

I miss her so f***ing much and she's not even gone yet.


I guess the weird part is, I've given her three chances to break up with me already, but she says no. She tells me she really does love me, she WANTS to kiss me, she WANTS to be mine, she WANTS to come around on a sunday and walk my dog with me. But she just can't.

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't even expect anyone here to say anything that will help. I just needed to tell the story. I guess I'll tell what happens tomorrow at this party, if anyone's interested in hearing it. Hell I'll probably post it it even if nobody is.
plebian_angel On April 25, 2012
Intergalactic hussy





a great future,
#2New Post! Nov 05, 2009 @ 13:12:30
Wow that is harsh. I don't know what to tell you. Seems her mind is made up at this point.
treebee On April 13, 2015
Government Hooker

Moderator




London, United Kingdom
#3New Post! Nov 05, 2009 @ 13:12:54
The best advice i can give you is to try as hard as you can to keep yourself calm.

That spark when we first get with someone who actually gets us is the most amazing high in the world but it can never last.

Now comes the real test to see if you guys can make it past where what was new and exciting is comfortable and familiar.

You are now under incredible pressure because she wants you to magic up that brand new feeling and that is more or less impossible i am sorry to say.

Be calm, kind and patient. Keep your head, keep your dignity, if she needs space give her it.

Try and sleep
ReAdSaLoT On September 23, 2019




,
#4New Post! Nov 05, 2009 @ 13:14:12
Her family loves you, sometimes that can scare one of the couple. Perhaps she's afraid of too much too soon. I'd say she's frightened. Perhaps you need to talk about what you expect for the future, if anything. Major discussion due.
PaNda On January 28, 2010
is Mysteria!


Deleted



, Texas
#5New Post! Nov 05, 2009 @ 13:26:44
@young_nick Said

5 months ago, I showed my best friend a website called grouphug.
It's a website where you can go an anonymously "confess" whatever's on your mind and the website displays it. It's truly depressing to read through it.

She and I, her name's Stevie, got along very very well. We had known each other a while, but never really been that close up until then.
One night she left a confession on grouphug saying "I'm falling for my best friend :]"

One thing led to another, and we realised we really liked each other.
One day she came around, and in the middle of watching a movie together we kissed. I had never wanted anything so much. That night we lay in my bed and stared at each other in the moon light. I asked her out that night, we became a couple. That was the 7th of June.

Fast forward a month, we're the happiest couple in the world. We devote sundays to each other and she usually comes around to my house. We just make out, take my dog for a walk, watch movies, or play cards. We pretty much just enjoy each other, it's perfect.

After two months, three months, pretty much the same. We're totally in love. We'll send big txts to each other in the middle of the night when we think the other is asleep. She calls me when she has nightmares. We make pizza for dinner and take photos of us smiling together. Eventually, I introduce her to the friends of mine she doesn't know, and start bringing her to parties. She makes friends with them really fast. I'm the guy with the cool girlfriend. We are the couple that always turns up to the party together. We have sex. It's amazing. I am totally in love with this girl and she's totally in love with me.

Then, she wants me to meet her dad. We go away for a week to her dads house, with her brother and sister, who I get to know, and who seem to like me a lot. Even her dad likes me, even though I'm sleeping in the same bed as his daughter. While we're there, is our four month anniversary. I meet her auntie and uncle, they seem to like me too. Her cousins like me. I'm pretty popular with the Watson family right now.

But while we were away at her dads place, we kind of started to get annoyed at each other. We hardly ever get annoyed, but there we are, sitting in uncomfortable silence watching The Office.
Despite that, of course, we still love each other. I can't imagine ever not loving her.

After we get back home, we start our routine again, but it's different now. She hardly ever wants to kiss me, we start to argue. I have no idea what it is, but it hurts.
Over time it gets worse. Each week, she gets more distant. Every time I look at her I want to kiss her. I adore her. Every time she looks at me she just gets annoyed. I don't know what I've done.

Last weekend I went to the beach with her. I got a grand total of one kiss all day. She told me she wanted to have a talk that night, to tell me some things she "wanted me to know."
Then she tells me how she doesn't have fun anymore. Everything's always the same. I sleep in until midday, I'm wasting my life. I don't have a job. I don't have a car to take her places. And somehow, she doesn't feel the same anymore.

I say I want to fix this, I want to sort it out. She says she's been trying to sort it out for a month now. I start going to bed earlier, waking up earlier, I get an interview with a uni to take a course in Digital Media next year. I've started to do something with my life. It sounds stupid, but it's for her.

But simply put, she just doesn't feel the excitement anymore.

I'm devastated. It's 2am here, which makes it the 6th of November. Tomorrow, the 7th, is out 5 month anniversary. A mutual friend is having a massive birthday party then. Stevie tells me she does love me, but if the spark isn't there when we're together at the party, then she can't carry on going out with me.

Despite the emptiness she feels now, I still feel full of love. I still adore her, she's my rock, she keeps me sane, she's my best friend, who I turn to with everything. Now I'm faced with the very real possibility of losing her.

I can't sleep. I can't concentrate. I'm hardly eating. I'm hardly talking to anyone. I couldn't cry when my grandfather died, yet thinking of losing Stevie has had me bawling my eyes out all day yesterday and today.

I miss her so f***ing much and she's not even gone yet.


I guess the weird part is, I've given her three chances to break up with me already, but she says no. She tells me she really does love me, she WANTS to kiss me, she WANTS to be mine, she WANTS to come around on a sunday and walk my dog with me. But she just can't.

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't even expect anyone here to say anything that will help. I just needed to tell the story. I guess I'll tell what happens tomorrow at this party, if anyone's interested in hearing it. Hell I'll probably post it it even if nobody is.



I'm sorry this is happening, Nick. The good thing is that she still loves you. I've heard people say they've been bored with their relationships at some point.

My son broke up with his girlfriend because she seemed to be losing interest in him and didn't show him any affection. He dated other girls for a short time but found that he missed her. They got back together and things are even better than before.

Maybe you could try doing different things sexually and in general. Please do let us know how things turn out. Best wishes.
boobagins On August 03, 2013
SPICY HOT TAMALES





Astral Weeks, Florida
#6New Post! Nov 05, 2009 @ 14:17:25
I'm sorry to hear that. Just keep calm and she will come around because she loves you.

I have been in the situation before and I was the girl in it. I understand both sides and it sucks I know. It just gets really confusing and hard when you're a person that has all these dreams, all these things you want to do, goals you want to reach and you find someone that you connect with so well, have fun, and can share anything with but they don't have the same drive as you. It not that she doesn't love you, its that she's scared of loosing herself if things become too complacent. If she loves you, she will stay longer and try.

The best piece of advice I can give you is to find your drive. You can't change because you're afraid of loosing her, or because she wants you to because that won't work. You need to WANT to do it for yourself, not her. Doing something with your life should be outside of the relationship because its something that adds to your relationship.
Lili On July 12, 2019
....................





Sunshine Land,
#7New Post! Nov 05, 2009 @ 14:44:52
Interesting that it all seemed to start when you went to meet her dad. I wonder if some family member didn't have a talk with her about some of those things she listed, they do sound like parental concerns. Not that you shouldn't have aspirations or anything, but I'm just thinking the timing isn't a coincidence.
Lili On July 12, 2019
....................





Sunshine Land,
#8New Post! Nov 05, 2009 @ 14:48:21
I mean, family has a way of planting little seeds of doubt, and sometimes those seeds take root, especially if they're backed up by her own observations. She may be concerned about her parents approval.
taken_4life11 On March 30, 2010




Kville Iowa,
#9New Post! Nov 05, 2009 @ 15:27:30
Wow that was really sad to me. Like i mean its amazing how love can happen and all.
I've sorta been in a situation like that.
Im not good at advice.
But i hope things will get better for the two of you.
I wish u the best of luck
acidron On November 26, 2011




a wee country town, Canada
#10New Post! Nov 05, 2009 @ 16:02:40
@young_nick Said

5 months ago, I showed my best friend a website called grouphug.
It's a website where you can go an anonymously "confess" whatever's on your mind and the website displays it. It's truly depressing to read through it.

She and I, her name's Stevie, got along very very well. We had known each other a while, but never really been that close up until then.
One night she left a confession on grouphug saying "I'm falling for my best friend :]"

One thing led to another, and we realised we really liked each other.
One day she came around, and in the middle of watching a movie together we kissed. I had never wanted anything so much. That night we lay in my bed and stared at each other in the moon light. I asked her out that night, we became a couple. That was the 7th of June.
You sound like such a gentle beautiful person. I kinda see something....because I'm out of the circle looking in. You're so in love with this girl, your blind. You went to see her family. You met everyone...this, thinking will be your future family. Your girlfriend was home with the people she grew up with. Sweetheart, I really think that something happened while you were there with the family. One of her family members, perhaps an older sister...whatever, sat her down and said "what the f*** are you doing with this guy? He has no job, no plans....lose him" If I'm wrong, I'm sorry, but this is the first thing that came to mt mind. You are just so sweet, I feel really bad for you and if she leaves you, she's missing out on a beautiful future...Good Luck Luv
Fast forward a month, we're the happiest couple in the world. We devote sundays to each other and she usually comes around to my house. We just make out, take my dog for a walk, watch movies, or play cards. We pretty much just enjoy each other, it's perfect.

After two months, three months, pretty much the same. We're totally in love. We'll send big txts to each other in the middle of the night when we think the other is asleep. She calls me when she has nightmares. We make pizza for dinner and take photos of us smiling together. Eventually, I introduce her to the friends of mine she doesn't know, and start bringing her to parties. She makes friends with them really fast. I'm the guy with the cool girlfriend. We are the couple that always turns up to the party together. We have sex. It's amazing. I am totally in love with this girl and she's totally in love with me.

Then, she wants me to meet her dad. We go away for a week to her dads house, with her brother and sister, who I get to know, and who seem to like me a lot. Even her dad likes me, even though I'm sleeping in the same bed as his daughter. While we're there, is our four month anniversary. I meet her auntie and uncle, they seem to like me too. Her cousins like me. I'm pretty popular with the Watson family right now.

But while we were away at her dads place, we kind of started to get annoyed at each other. We hardly ever get annoyed, but there we are, sitting in uncomfortable silence watching The Office.
Despite that, of course, we still love each other. I can't imagine ever not loving her.

After we get back home, we start our routine again, but it's different now. She hardly ever wants to kiss me, we start to argue. I have no idea what it is, but it hurts.
Over time it gets worse. Each week, she gets more distant. Every time I look at her I want to kiss her. I adore her. Every time she looks at me she just gets annoyed. I don't know what I've done.

Last weekend I went to the beach with her. I got a grand total of one kiss all day. She told me she wanted to have a talk that night, to tell me some things she "wanted me to know."
Then she tells me how she doesn't have fun anymore. Everything's always the same. I sleep in until midday, I'm wasting my life. I don't have a job. I don't have a car to take her places. And somehow, she doesn't feel the same anymore.

I say I want to fix this, I want to sort it out. She says she's been trying to sort it out for a month now. I start going to bed earlier, waking up earlier, I get an interview with a uni to take a course in Digital Media next year. I've started to do something with my life. It sounds stupid, but it's for her.

But simply put, she just doesn't feel the excitement anymore.

I'm devastated. It's 2am here, which makes it the 6th of November. Tomorrow, the 7th, is out 5 month anniversary. A mutual friend is having a massive birthday party then. Stevie tells me she does love me, but if the spark isn't there when we're together at the party, then she can't carry on going out with me.

Despite the emptiness she feels now, I still feel full of love. I still adore her, she's my rock, she keeps me sane, she's my best friend, who I turn to with everything. Now I'm faced with the very real possibility of losing her.

I can't sleep. I can't concentrate. I'm hardly eating. I'm hardly talking to anyone. I couldn't cry when my grandfather died, yet thinking of losing Stevie has had me bawling my eyes out all day yesterday and today.

I miss her so f***ing much and she's not even gone yet.


I guess the weird part is, I've given her three chances to break up with me already, but she says no. She tells me she really does love me, she WANTS to kiss me, she WANTS to be mine, she WANTS to come around on a sunday and walk my dog with me. But she just can't.

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't even expect anyone here to say anything that will help. I just needed to tell the story. I guess I'll tell what happens tomorrow at this party, if anyone's interested in hearing it. Hell I'll probably post it it even if nobody is.
boobagins On August 03, 2013
SPICY HOT TAMALES





Astral Weeks, Florida
#11New Post! Nov 05, 2009 @ 16:12:52
@Lili Said

I mean, family has a way of planting little seeds of doubt, and sometimes those seeds take root, especially if they're backed up by her own observations. She may be concerned about her parents approval.



I think so too...Parents are a huge factor. They may like you, but at the same time want the best for thier daughter and if you go saying you're not doing anything as far as job or school it creates doubts.

My parents would freak..I know that much and its enough to scare me.
MlissaBeth On February 13, 2013
Wait for it!





Tucson, Arizona
#13New Post! Nov 05, 2009 @ 16:15:55
@Lili Said

I mean, family has a way of planting little seeds of doubt, and sometimes those seeds take root, especially if they're backed up by her own observations. She may be concerned about her parents approval.



I was thinking the same thing. Comments from the family.



The route I would take, be calm, tell her you love her but you're not a magician. If she wants to be with you, then great. If not, tell her it was nice and you'll see her around.

Maybe the thought of her losing you will actually awaken her.


I know that I can play the cold one and so can a lot of women. We convince ourselves that we're just not that happy anymore but don't want the relationship to end. As soon as the guy threatens to leave, we change our minds very quickly. It could just be a rut she's going through. Something she needs to work on and is putting it off on you.
Lili On July 12, 2019
....................





Sunshine Land,
#14New Post! Nov 05, 2009 @ 16:31:26
@MlissaBeth Said

I was thinking the same thing. Comments from the family.



The route I would take, be calm, tell her you love her but you're not a magician. If she wants to be with you, then great. If not, tell her it was nice and you'll see her around.

Maybe the thought of her losing you will actually awaken her.


I know that I can play the cold one and so can a lot of women. We convince ourselves that we're just not that happy anymore but don't want the relationship to end. As soon as the guy threatens to leave, we change our minds very quickly. It could just be a rut she's going through. Something she needs to work on and is putting it off on you.


I agree with this too.

It seems like this girls is stringing you along, and it's not a nice thing to do to a person, as I'm sure you can see for yourself. At some point she either needs to get in or get out, she needs to make a decision. To not do so is not fair to you, since you're left in a tortuous state of limbo until she does. Either you wait for her to make up her mind and continue feeling horrible until she does, or you make the decision and allow yourself the closure she can't provide.
Dark_Tink On December 30, 2018
<3 Boobie <3





, Canada
#15New Post! Nov 05, 2009 @ 16:37:06
@readsalot Said

Her family loves you, sometimes that can scare one of the couple. Perhaps she's afraid of too much too soon. I'd say she's frightened. Perhaps you need to talk about what you expect for the future, if anything. Major discussion due.

@Lili Said

Interesting that it all seemed to start when you went to meet her dad. I wonder if some family member didn't have a talk with her about some of those things she listed, they do sound like parental concerns. Not that you shouldn't have aspirations or anything, but I'm just thinking the timing isn't a coincidence.
-------------------------------------------------------
I mean, family has a way of planting little seeds of doubt, and sometimes those seeds take root, especially if they're backed up by her own observations. She may be concerned about her parents approval.


Those were the first two things that I thought of as well. That probably what is causing her to have doubts and reservations about your relationship. You have started to make positive changes in your life, so talk with her and hopefully things will get better between you two.
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