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Movie Theater Etiquette #3

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trencher On March 01, 2008

Hades, California
#1New Post! Sep 23, 2006 @ 23:31:20

I had plans of writing my review of "Flyboys," in this spot, but I changed my mind after discovering what was happening in that retirement village of a movie auditorium was much more entertaining than what was playing on the screen.

With "All the King's Men," "Gridiron Gang," "The Covenant," and etc. still playing... I thought that my viewing of "Flyboys" would be seen in a relaxed setting. Boy! Was I ever wrong.

It was like the San Diego Zoo in that auditorium. "Flyboys," was filled to brim with derelicts, geezers, frowzy women and moments of pure chaos.

Approximately 10 minutes until showtime is when the old buzzards showed their true colors and the wheels came completely off.

A fat, disheveled, old as dirt woman had the nerve to plop her enormous butt in the seat right next to me. She knew damn well that there were other seats available. Her actions showed a complete lack of respect for her fellow moviegoer.

And if listening to her stuffing her face with popcorn and candy bars wasn't bad enough; I was forced to sit in my seat and listen as those derelicts shrieked, yelped, moaned and groaned during the trailer for "Grudge 2."

Honestly, my dogs have shown better manners. It was a disaster of epic proportions. Those cold crones blew their noses, complained and coughed with stunning regularity. Not a single old fart would shut their fat mouths

Not even the battle scenes prevented those mouthy farts from talking to the screen. I can tolerate the behavior of three young women, but in no way shape or form was I prepared for the amoral antics that those derelicts brought with them into the movie theater.

I'm there to do a job! I'm not there to listen to some old bag talking about her itchy, swollen feet. "In consideration of others... Please refrain from talikng." is a disclaimer that is falling on deaf ears.

What's the point of shelling out all that dough if you're going to sit down in your seat and talk the entire time?

The one thing I do not want to hear during a movie is some old broad giving a history lesson about the movie that she's watching. This type of behavior is the main reaon why people are staying home. I'd much rather be outside doing something more constructive than sitting in a movie theater for 2 hours listening as Mrs. Wrinkles discusses what happened at Bingo. But that is a luxury that I do not have.

And I thought that those hicks doing their best impression of Bo & Luke Duke during a screening of "Miami Vice" was tedious.

I like to sit quietly in my seat and dissect the movie in peace. But these runaway derelicts are destroying the movie experience. I've watched in utter dismay as my local movie theater has transformed into a disgusting urinal overnight.

Oh, sure I could drive 30 minutes in the opposite direction to another movie theater, but that would be disasterous.

It's a crying shame that these loud-mouthed buzzards are treating the movie experience with such disrespect.
jsull17 On July 25, 2008

Brisbane, Australia
#2New Post! Sep 24, 2006 @ 08:29:16
you should make your forums shorter!
treebee On April 13, 2015
Government Hooker


London, United Kingdom
#3New Post! Sep 24, 2006 @ 08:56:06
I couldnt bear that, im a total b**** at the movies and get anyone noisy thrown straight out.
brainfarmer On February 09, 2007

huddersfield, United Kingdom
#4New Post! Sep 24, 2006 @ 08:59:24
i just wish folk would stand up to go to the toilet or whatever during movies it ruins my pirated dvds.
brainfarmer On February 09, 2007

huddersfield, United Kingdom
#5New Post! Sep 24, 2006 @ 09:01:48
^ should read wouldnt
nik_stix On March 27, 2007

f*** knows, United Kingdom
#6New Post! Sep 24, 2006 @ 09:09:21
the people i hate inthe cinema most are those cocky kids who put the feet over the chairs and talk and do wahtever the f*** m want
why dont they just go out on the street and do that why do they have to pay to disrupt me watching the movie ive paid to see
and also when im the oly person laughing in the cinema because everyone else is to stupid to get the joke
why do these morons go see a film they cant understand
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