More Funnies

My doctor told me to soak my feet in vinegar.
All it gave me was pickled bunions.
___

Sad news.
Today we lost the inventor of the protractor.
He's with the angles now.
___

The teacher asked my friend to name something you're not very good at that starts with the letter "N."
He said "Spelling."
___

Saw a guy catching wild birds and cramming them into boxes.
I said: "You can pack that lark in right now!”
___

Welcome to 'Owning up to Flatulence Club',
But I warn you, it's not for the 'ain't farted.
___
Have you tried shooting a bow and arrow with your eyes closed?
no? You don't know what your missing!
___