Male/ Female opinions wanted

I have been in a relationship for almost 10 years, we are married and have 3 lovely kids. Since we got together contraception has been mainly my responsibility, the pill and more recently the coil. I get pretty messed up with all these hormones shooting around my body and gain weight, have mood swings etc. So after a 35 hour labour and 2 horrendous C sections I suggest to my husband that maybe he could find about a vasectomy. And he says he doesn't agree with mutilating his body in that way....... WTF?

What about my body, what about me??????/?

I would suggest very much he is a vasectomy if your not planning anymore children! A friend of mine has had one and, apart from sitting a little uncomfortably for a couple of days, suffered no ill effects. Maybe he is scared of feeling less 'manly'?

That's a toughie. Some men will gladly do it and some won't and the same for women. I would suggest taking him through the steps of what a woman has to go through verses what a man has to go through and then both of you make an informed decision.

But if it's against his beliefs then nothing will change his mind. Sorry I couldn't be of more help. Hope things work out for both of you and you can start being happy again once this passes.

Well I am a smart a** so my frist response to him would be something to this effect. Mutilate ? I had to spit something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon , been cut from a*****e to belly button ,not to mention toting another body around for nine months with it sitting on my kidney causing me to pee every five minutes and all that after throwing my guts up and you wanna talk to me about body mutilation ????? WTF If you want nooky you'll get that thing cut or wear a raincoat.

I would actually say that too.

I dunno what to say, guys are touchy about their "man-hood"

Thanks for the replies guys!!! I think he is just wimpy but he seems to think he is arguing his point well. I just think I've done my bit and now its his turn

I have said all of the above. You sound very like me!!!

well, you could get your tubes tied instead. either way, it's up to you both. but i can see where your hubby is coming from. so, talk it out and either one of you get an operation or just use better protection from now on.

If you don't want more children why don't you get your tube tied?

To most men, the thought of having the chop brings them to their knees, but i'm with you on this one! our bodies go through so much with pregnancies, birth, pregnancy provention! I really don't think your asking for too much! The other option is a sex ban!!!

I think this is really unfair. I'm not being funny but what if you break up or if you die (touch wood) then he's bound not to have children with anyone else.

You're asking him to make himself sterile, it's not really fair. If you don't want children or to use contraception then perhaps having your tubes tied is the best option.

The both of you should go in together and talk with your OBGYN and or family doctor to have your hubby hear the pros and cons of tubal ligation and vasectomy. I can tell you there are MANY more reasons for him to get it done then you. :P

For myself, my hubby and I discussed that we were only having 3 children. Since I knew my third child would also be my third C-section we figured while I was already open, might as well get the TL done. Now, on the other hand, if I didn't need a c-section from the get go, he would have had a vasectomy. No two ways about it. My best friend had TL and it was the worst pain she had ever been through. It took her over a week to recoup (compared to the 2-3 days for a man) My brother-in-law had one a few months ago. He didn't want my sister to have to go through a TL. He said "She gave birth twice...my turn" LOL

All the best to you hun. I hope your hubby smartens up about the *snip snip*

That's a toughie. I don't know what to say to that. I would suggest wifey/hubby therapy to help get it across ti him. Hopefully he sees your side at least