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Just looking to hook up?

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smilelove On September 01, 2013
Ninja Dreamer





Somewhere, Ohio
#1New Post! Dec 05, 2011 @ 04:28:28
What are the signs that a guy just wants to 'get in a girl's pants' or just 'hook up' besides the obvious of physically touching her?


Because apparently I had some guy try to kiss me 'just to see how far he could get' and he 'doesn't care about me' but that was after hanging out with him for about 2 months without him ever trying to touch me before hand....It's a lot more complicated than that, but I want to keep it simple...
Zebralishious On February 26, 2013




Serenity, California
#2New Post! Dec 05, 2011 @ 09:22:01
@smilelove Said

What are the signs that a guy just wants to 'get in a girl's pants' or just 'hook up' besides the obvious of physically touching her?


Because apparently I had some guy try to kiss me 'just to see how far he could get' and he 'doesn't care about me' but that was after hanging out with him for about 2 months without him ever trying to touch me before hand....It's a lot more complicated than that, but I want to keep it simple...


well honestly any guy who will stick around for two months (while not seeing other girls) is not just trying to get in your pants! guys go at it hard like flirting trying to make out all that for a week or two then they say f*** it an move on if your not keeping up with them. so the fact this guy waited two months till he hinted at seeing how far he can get was probably a random thought of his to be like hmm we been talking maybe ill get lucky? but how did you get this info? did he say oh i wanted to see how far i can get? or did some one tell you that was his goal cuz it had to be random if it was true seriously no guy will put in two months of effort just to hook up sad but true
Sparklegirl On December 13, 2019
LL.M





Cumbria, United Kingdom
#3New Post! Dec 05, 2011 @ 09:40:47
yeah I would be inclined to agree with the above. Examine where you heard it from that he 'isn't interested' and just 'wanted to see how far he could get' is it possible this is being said out of jealousy? might the person who told you fancy you and wants to stop you going out with this guy? Depends how much you trust the source I guess

If of course he was honest and up front and admitted it to you himself then have a think about how far you would want to go with him if limited emotional commitment was on offer and stick with that.

By the sounds of the fact you have been friends for a couple of months says he must have invested some sort of emotional attachment so would he want to ruin a perfectly good friendship just for a bit of fun? There are plenty willing volunteers to give him what he is after I suspect so it would be less hard work to get what he is after from them. I would go with what you're gut instinct is telling you too, it is not always good to be swayed by other people who do not really know him as well as you do
hoppy On August 27, 2013




,
#4New Post! Dec 05, 2011 @ 11:19:08
When they say, "nice tits, get in the truck".
Demented On January 31, 2024




, Australia
#5New Post! Dec 05, 2011 @ 11:38:04
@hoppy Said

When they say, "nice tits, get in the truck".



I always loved the look on the faces when they asked "Do you love me?",I'd say,Well I'm f*ckin ya aren't I. god I was a lady charmer
sTreetAngeL On January 24, 2022
root tedt ree





in a paradox,
#6New Post! Dec 05, 2011 @ 17:09:15
I agree with the first two posters...

If you are not 'sure'; after having talked about it with him first,..give him a chance.
Could be he is just really into you; and being a 'guy', it's a bit harder sometimes for them to control their urges..so give him a break there if he is otherwise an all around decent guy...
If he sticks around and still cares, that obviously tells you a lot...

It's simply human to want to get intimate with a person we care deeply about, and are phsically attracted to.
smilelove On September 01, 2013
Ninja Dreamer





Somewhere, Ohio
#7New Post! Dec 05, 2011 @ 20:41:10
@Zebralishious Said

but how did you get this info? did he say oh i wanted to see how far i can get? or did some one tell you that was his goal cuz it had to be random if it was true seriously no guy will put in two months of effort just to hook up sad but true



@Sparklegirl Said

yeah I would be inclined to agree with the above. Examine where you heard it from that he 'isn't interested' and just 'wanted to see how far he could get' is it possible this is being said out of jealousy? might the person who told you fancy you and wants to stop you going out with this guy? Depends how much you trust the source I guess


I was told by his best friend's girlfriend and I trust her....We all go to the same college and this guy's roommate is his friend since 3rd grade and his roommate's girlfriend has been dating his roommate since 8th grade so they are all close and hang out together which is how i got to know him and she told me that he texted her boyfriend 'I don't care about her and I only did it to see how far it would go'....try and kiss me that is...

And it just doesn't make sense to me because he drove me home from college for our 6 week break and even though he told me a month earlier he only wants to be friends, I felt that things changed and had been getting mixed signals even though he still hadn't tried to touch me...So I brought up the question of 'what am i?' before he left cuz he lives over an hour away and he just told me he definitely liked me as a friend, but was confused about whether or not he liked me as more than that. It was during this conversation that he tried to kiss me, but afterwards he still couldn't give me an answer so I told him a couple days later that basically I was dropping him if he didn't just date me already or make the clear cut of friends and so I did....It was a few days later that he texted that to his friend...
drman321 On December 28, 2013




, Florida
#8New Post! Dec 05, 2011 @ 20:49:11
I notice that the first two responses have two things in common. They are both wrong, and both females trying to explain how men think.

A man will most certainly put in two months of groundwork before trying to get in a girl's pants, many times more, especially in the situation you just described.

Remember this rule of thumb, single men are incapable of being friends with a woman without thinking about what it would be like to have sex with them. He can still be your friend, but he can also occasionally try to get into your pants. Welcome to dealing with men. We are a devious and complicated bunch.
smilelove On September 01, 2013
Ninja Dreamer





Somewhere, Ohio
#9New Post! Dec 05, 2011 @ 21:00:14
@drman321 Said

I notice that the first two responses have two things in common. They are both wrong, and both females trying to explain how men think.

A man will most certainly put in two months of groundwork before trying to get in a girl's pants, many times more, especially in the situation you just described.

Remember this rule of thumb, single men are incapable of being friends with a woman without thinking about what it would be like to have sex with them. He can still be your friend, but he can also occasionally try to get into your pants. Welcome to dealing with men. We are a devious and complicated bunch.



But if a guy enjoys hanging out/conversing with a girl and is interested in a physical relationship with her what would be keeping him from simply getting into a relationship or dating her? ....especially a guy that doesn't have any history of just using girls physically?
drman321 On December 28, 2013




, Florida
#10New Post! Dec 05, 2011 @ 21:04:39
@smilelove Said

But if a guy enjoys hanging out/conversing with a girl and is interested in a physical relationship with her what would be keeping him from simply getting into a relationship or dating her? ....especially a guy that doesn't have any history of just using girls physically?



Because he wants to have sex with other people. That is the most important thing you have to understand about guys, especially young guys. We want to have lots of sex with lots of different people. To get us to go against that nature for any length of time is a feat in and of itself. It is not an insurmountable feat, but still worthy of recognition.

He likes you because he likes you, he enjoys spending time with you. He wants to be your friend. However, he also wants to have sex with you. He also wants to have sex with other people and you being his girlfriend would ruin that and your friendship. In his head he is hoping he can keep being your friend, occasionally have consequence free sex with you, and keep on the prowl to have sex with whatever other co-eds might cross his path. I didn't say he was being smart or realistic, but that is what he is after.
smilelove On September 01, 2013
Ninja Dreamer





Somewhere, Ohio
#11New Post! Dec 05, 2011 @ 21:32:11
@drman321 Said

Because he wants to have sex with other people. That is the most important thing you have to understand about guys, especially young guys. We want to have lots of sex with lots of different people. To get us to go against that nature for any length of time is a feat in and of itself. It is not an insurmountable feat, but still worthy of recognition.

He likes you because he likes you, he enjoys spending time with you. He wants to be your friend. However, he also wants to have sex with you. He also wants to have sex with other people and you being his girlfriend would ruin that and your friendship. In his head he is hoping he can keep being your friend, occasionally have consequence free sex with you, and keep on the prowl to have sex with whatever other co-eds might cross his path. I didn't say he was being smart or realistic, but that is what he is after.


He's a virgin. I think right now sex with one person would be a goal in itself.
drman321 On December 28, 2013




, Florida
#12New Post! Dec 05, 2011 @ 21:33:48
@smilelove Said

He's a virgin. I think right now sex with one person would be a goal in itself.



No man wants sex more than the man who hasn't had it yet. The fact that he is a virgin just reinforces what I am saying.
smilelove On September 01, 2013
Ninja Dreamer





Somewhere, Ohio
#13New Post! Dec 05, 2011 @ 21:43:03
@drman321 Said

No man wants sex more than the man who hasn't had it yet. The fact that he is a virgin just reinforces what I am saying.


That may be true, but wouldn't it be more effective to make a girl think you are in a relationship and flirt with her and slowly get close to her to make her think he's just getting to know her and wants to be closer because he likes her so much....compared to just randomly trying to convince her without any build-up. The latter is not a very promising method of getting any.

I'm just confused because I did not see it coming... I got to know him through his friends. He has no past history of using girls. They didn't expect it. He didn't try to get anywhere near me when he had so many opportunities...It just doesn't add up from what I've heard of the traditional signs that a guy just wants to use a girl for that.
drman321 On December 28, 2013




, Florida
#14New Post! Dec 05, 2011 @ 21:45:57
@smilelove Said

That may be true, but wouldn't it be more effective to make a girl think you are in a relationship and flirt with her and slowly get close to her to make her think he's just getting to know her and wants to be closer because he likes her so much....compared to just randomly trying to convince her without any build-up. The latter is not a very promising method of getting any.

I'm just confused because I did not see it coming... I got to know him through his friends. He has no past history of using girls. They didn't expect it. He didn't try to get anywhere near me when he had so many opportunities...It just doesn't add up from what I've heard of the traditional signs that a guy just wants to use a girl for that.



First of all, with some girls it is a promising method. Apparently you are not one of those girls.

Second, judging by your young age (and since you said he is a virgin)I am going to assume he is of a similar age, that means he doesn't have a history of anything yet. Give the guy some time to figure out who he is before you start labeling his dating behavior as out of character.

Third, what exactly are the "traditional signs"?
smilelove On September 01, 2013
Ninja Dreamer





Somewhere, Ohio
#15New Post! Dec 05, 2011 @ 21:48:34
@drman321 Said

First of all, with some girls it is a promising method. Apparently you are not one of those girls.

Second, judging by your young age (and since you said he is a virgin)I am going to assume he is of a similar age, that means he doesn't have a history of anything yet. Give the guy some time to figure out who he is before you start labeling his dating behavior as out of character.

Third, what exactly are the "traditional signs"?



So are you saying he's a dud and I should look elsewhere for a relationship or that all guys are like this and I should just learn to deal with it?
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