@readsalot Said
This is the actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to a McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny.
Name: Greg Bulmash
Sex: not yet still waiting for the right person.
Desired Position: Company's president or vice president. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
Desired salary: ,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
Education: Yes
Last position held: Target for middle management hostility.
Salary: Less than I'm worth.
Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post it notes.
Reason for leaving: It sucked.
Hours available to work: any
Preferred hours: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Mon., Tues, and Thurs.
Do you have any special skills? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
May we contact your current employer?: If I had one, would I be here?
Do you have any physical position that would prohibit you from lifting 50 lbs.? fifty lbs. of what?
Do you have a car: I think the more appropriate question would be, Do you have a car that runs?
Have you received any special awards or recognition?: I may already be a winner in the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes.
Do you smoke?: On the job no, on breaks yes.
What would you like to be doing in five years?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blonde who's a super model and thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Do you certify that the above information is true to the best of your knowledge?: Yes, absolutely
Sign here: Aries
I think the kid got lucky, he sure had guts.