It's me again with more funnies

@rondetto Said

Although I've now gone bald, l still keep the comb I've had for nearly 20 years.
I just can't part with it.

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I've figured out how to avoid getting parking tickets, I've taken the windscreen wipers off my car.

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I went on a blind date with a dentist last night, it went well.
She wants to see me again in 6 months.

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The best way to watch a fly fishing tournament is a live stream.

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Paddy buys a bath but takes it back the next day complaining that the water keeps running out.
The manager asks: "Did you buy a plug?"
Paddy says: "Yer, ***, you didn't say it was electric."

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I’ve just read, a policeman has had surgery due to an anaphylactic reaction to bees.
It was a sting operation.

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I went to see my doctor this morning. “Some one decided to graffiti my house last night!” I raged.
“So why are you telling me?” the doctor asked.
“I can't understand the writing,” I replied. “Was it you?”

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I've just found an old photo of myself from when l was a boxer.
If you turn it sideways it looks like i'm standing up.

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My mate’s in hospital after eating a bacon sandwich.
Well, after all It was mine!

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I must be the unluckiest person in the world?
I have just found a wage packet outside my local supermarket and the guy’s had 4 days off sick!

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