Is it over? Am i doomed?

Have faith girl. Ye'll be grand.

Im scared tho mate..I dont want to end up hurting more than I feel right now.

just tell him to sod off if hes sayin things like that he oobviously not that much into you!

Rather than writing communications with him can you ring him a phone call.

I know you loose that eye contact that is helpful at helping to decide if he's spinning you along or if he's just been macho with his mate.

It may help?
Does he ever fly over to see you?
Can you suggest he comes to you this time to avoid you the expense?

If he's not happy to come to you maybe you have the answer you don't really want to hear.

well we chat on the phone but its expensive for us both.

he flies to me on all our meets, and this will be the first time i have flown to him

I really think that you should just forget about him. Like you said you have only been dating since September. You really haven't lost a lot of time MOVE ON. I would tell him to go screw a goat.

One thing - be careful not to overreact about this. Remeber, you've heard it all from a vague conversation with a mutual friend. He may like a girl; he may like her as a friend. You won't know for sure until you talk to him. But don't go all cannons blazing! I did that to Max once when I thought he was cheating on me. It only made me feel foolish when I'd found out the truth. From your convo with your friend it sounds like you both like each other. I hope the reply PM comes soon.

Go for it Babe. Just remember to be positive and open and hopefully you'll find this has all been a storm in a tea cup.
My instinct would favour him bluffing to his mate how he really feels about you. We guys aren't as good about speaking about our feelings as girls are. Just look at magazines and problem pages. Gilrs talk about all sorts of things with each other.

Girls talking "Well how do you feel that you are bonding and communicating? Does he say lovely things to you in private? Does he compliment you on you etc etc etc. Last on a two hour conversation, has he a big c****?

With guys its "Did you shag her?" "Feck off it's none of your business" end of deep and meaningful discussion.

Hopefully it'll be Ok stop worrying unnecessarily.

Well he replied to my PM and said...

"don't worry about it too much sweetheart. I'll talk to you tonight, don't have the time now. "

(he hasnt called sweetheart for ages)


i replied.."sure, i know youre busy. is there something not so good you want to talk about?"

he replied "I'd love to have you come over, if that's what you mean. "

So now what?

You see I am struggling inside..I know him so well, he is genuine, limited in experience with teh ladeeeezz (depsite being dutch lol)
He considers love and sex to be very special and not something to fling around willy-nilly (again depsite being dutch lol)

He is very shy, hardworking(a journalist/editor/translator, and very honest.
He isnt the kind of person to cheat, or to lie to someone, no matter who it is. So this bint in Groningen is probably a chat buddy, which doesnt bother me, but when you say you have the hots for then...well we all fancy people its human nature, but we dont act on it. I dont think he would either. we both have male/female best friends, mine is Umran a pakistani bloke, and ant, his is a lass called Demi, this doesnt bother me.

Could it be that is afraid? he knows I love him to bits although Ive never told him...maybe this has scared him into thinking Im after marriage and babies etc...

well hun, u seem to have calmed yourself down. i'm sure things are as you said it is. the best thing to do would be to see him and chat face to face. unfortunately this involves a lot of cost seeing as he lives a long way away. if you love him then ask yourself if he's worth it.

aye I have calmed down abit, I dont know if I should be worried or not.It was the "she loves me more than I her..I just cant explain it to her" - that bit..that made me think he wasnt into me much but he didnt have the heart to tell me.

But then the last few days he suggested a theme park in Efteling we should go to in the summer, he asked me a few weeks ago if I would go to NY with him this year etc...

He is planning all kinds of things for us to go and see...so surely he wouldnt say all that if he wasnt arsed about me? Or if he didnt see us still dating ??

Im confused, my paranoia and imagination have gone wild over this.

sometimes guys get a bit cold footed, although they have no intention of ending the romance. Sometimes they blow hot and cold and its worth just riding it out. Sometimes they toy with the idea of someone else but at the end of the day realise that what they have is what they actually wanted in the first place.

I think you always know deep down if you are being played for a sucker.

If you dont feel that then go, enjoy, have fun and see where it takes you

well, i wouldn't take that to mean he doesn't want you. at the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend, i probably said that same sentence several times. it was the truth he loved me more than i loved him. he knew i didn't love him as much. we're more even now but i still get the feeling every now and then that he loves me more. love is not equal. but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with you!

treebee...yeah you could be right, he was sayiong to me the otherday, tht he was sat on the train on the way home from work thinking about how good is life is and how he has everything he could ever need..
I dont think he is playing me at all..

yeah good point, he tells me how good we are and how good our relationship is and we have a good furture etc...