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Is it over? Am i doomed?

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sandrarichards On April 27, 2006

Deleted



#1New Post! Jan 24, 2006 @ 10:00:32
Hey all..just a little conundrum here...

My bloke lives in Holland and we see each other every month.

He knows Im booking a flight today so I can go over net weekend, he's chuffed about this.

But I was sent an MSN chat from a mutual friend of our and it goes like this..

my mate: So now you have met sandra, are you both in love?

him: Well she is in more in love than I am to be honest..she's really really cool....but I cant explain it to her

him: And I have the hots for a girl in Groningen

him: but i do want a few/lots more meets with sandra

As far as I can tell..Im on to a losing battle here..he is so sweet to me, we've planned all kinds of exciting things, but I cant help but think he likes me and doesnt want to hurt me, but doesnt feel enough for me.

What can I do..I am f***ing devastated here..Shall I spend ?160 on a flight, or tell him to sod off?

I really dont know what to do, and I need your advice
elektrakosh On September 29, 2007




, United
#2New Post! Jan 24, 2006 @ 10:02:07
I suggest you phone him and ask if he is ready to commit.But I'm no expert as I've never beeen in a relationship.
young_nick On December 11, 2010
The Dude





Auckland, New Zealand
#3New Post! Jan 24, 2006 @ 10:03:59
you don't really want to get the friend in trouble for a start...
sandrarichards On April 27, 2006

Deleted



#4New Post! Jan 24, 2006 @ 10:04:03
Well I think the commitment question might be abit too early, we've only been dating since September.
sandrarichards On April 27, 2006

Deleted



#5New Post! Jan 24, 2006 @ 10:05:12
@young_nick Said
you don't really want to get the friend in trouble for a start...


No I dont want to do that, but I dont know how to approach it. I dont know if I should say anything at all.

As far as I know he has only chatted to this girl in Groningen, which is about 350 km from him anyway
bendover On November 25, 2007

Deleted



Muff, Ireland
#6New Post! Jan 24, 2006 @ 10:13:55
If I was you I would still go and just go with the flow. Don't be overly concerned about what you have "overheard" via MSN.

From a guys perspective my take on it could be that he does want to tell his mate "I'm madly in love". Guys tend to do the hacho bulls*** thing of pretenting to be cool about relationships with a lady when really we can be gagging to be with her.

Sometimes written messages fall far short of what a perosn really feels. When you are with him you will be in a better position to feel the vibs and make you mind up more accurately.

Don't go there with any preconceived perspective and have belief in you ability to judge a situation as you see it.

Good luck.
sandrarichards On April 27, 2006

Deleted



#7New Post! Jan 24, 2006 @ 10:20:17
It just doesnt sound to good what he said to our mate. I know that he does like me, but maybe its that he doesnt like me enough? He is a failry honest guy, and I dont think he would lie to his/our mate. Surely if he was really into me he would have said to him, yeah i really like her??

I just dont know...I feel utterly wreteched about this.


Its a heck of a lot of money for my flight and airport parking and Im frightened that on the way home I will be feeling less that elated.

And I dont care that he chats to some girl elsewhere, I chat to plenty of people too. But the "ive got the hots for this groningen lass too" its that bit that I am struggling with.

Im so confused.
justvr On February 20, 2006




, Wallis and Futuna
#9New Post! Jan 24, 2006 @ 11:00:31
He chasing after another girl at the same time... tell him to sod off, you deserve
monogamy even if you can't get commitment yet....
stefficles On January 18, 2009




Somewhere, United Kingdom
#10New Post! Jan 24, 2006 @ 11:38:11
Like bendover said; he may be trying to "play it cool" while chatting to someone. Is this mutual friend originally your friend or his? If it's yours then I'd ask him what's going on. If the mutual friend was his friend before you two got together then it is possible that he wanted to downplay his feelings. I think you should talk to him about it. It doesn't seem like he asked for secrecy about what he said over msn. But don't forget; msn is not the most reliable of mediums to communicate with. Things can easily be misunderstood and emphasis can be put on the wrong word in reading it, completely changing the meaning of a sentence. Have a chat to him and see what he says; he may well have been telling the truth, but things can always change. You don't have to love somebody with the same intensity that they love you; love is usually unequal in most relationships. But that doesn't mean the relationship cannot work. By no means does it mean that! Good luck...
justvr On February 20, 2006




, Wallis and Futuna
#11New Post! Jan 24, 2006 @ 11:42:21
@stefficles Said
Like bendover said; he may be trying to "play it cool" while chatting to
someone. Is this mutual friend originally your friend or his? If it's yours then I'd ask him
what's going on. If the mutual friend was his friend before you two got together then it is
possible that he wanted to downplay his feelings. I think you should talk to him about it. It
doesn't seem like he asked for secrecy about what he said over msn. But don't forget; msn is
not the most reliable of mediums to communicate with. Things can easily be misunderstood
and emphasis can be put on the wrong word in reading it, completely changing the meaning
of a sentence. Have a chat to him and see what he says; he may well have been telling the
truth, but things can always change. You don't have to love somebody with the same
intensity that they love you; love is usually unequal in most relationships. But that doesn't
mean the relationship cannot work. By no means does it mean that! Good luck...


So that is backing every horse in the field, all the Trifectas, and 300 random mystery bets as
well...... You'll win $100 but so far its cost you $1000 in bets?????
sandrarichards On April 27, 2006

Deleted



#12New Post! Jan 24, 2006 @ 12:15:40
this is the PM I sent to him today..

I have checked my flights on KLM and car park booking etc. But before I go ahead and pay for it I need to know if you are sure about me coming over, and if you're interested in someone else perhaps, then I think I shouldnt come over, if youre not really that into to me that much then let me know before I pay for my flights.

sandra



he may guess from this message Ive been chatting to our friend..also I chatted to our friend today and this was said:

Meerman (playing 360) says:
like i said before, he's always mentioned the groningen girls as being handsome. You know, a a compliment cos im from there.

LTBL! says:
yeah thats fair enough, but now he says he fancise someone else

Meerman (playing 360) says:
so he must have gotten into contact with one

LTBL! says:
i wonder how?

Meerman (playing 360) says:
msn
Meerman (playing 360) says:
tis easy

LTBL! says:
yeah but randoms dont add each other, you meet on a site or something

Meerman (playing 360) says:
could be.

LTBL! says:
but he doesnt relly chat anywhere does he?

Meerman (playing 360) says:
have you calmed down yet?

TBL! says:
not really
Meerman (playing 360) says:

well breathe. you sound jealous to me

LTBL! says:
well yeah i am, of course, he is chasng someone else and stringing me along too

Meerman (playing 360) says:
well, up to you to win his heart for you. he's in dubio, apparently

LTBL! says:
whast dubio?
Meerman (playing 360) says:
a dual- 'battle'

LTBL! says:
oh lol

Meerman (playing 360) says:
on the one hand, its you, on the other its miss groningen
Meerman (playing 360) says:
not that she's an actual Miss

LTBL! says:
well i think its too late now, he did once said i had captured his heart, but he is looking elsewhere now, so i didnt win this battle

LTBL! says:
how do you mean? has he talked abouther?

Meerman (playing 360) says:
nope.

LTBL! says:
i think basically someone better has come along and stirred his groins and sandra has been pushed away

Meerman (playing 360) says:
he only said he knows a nice girl from groningen. but so do i'you know

TBL! says:
i think he is battling on how to tell me or how to let me down gentrly

LTBL! says:
she would have seen his pics, he's hot as anything, im sure its mutual

LTBL! says:
what kind of things did he used to say about me?

Meerman (playing 360) says:
he has said you're HOT

LTBL! says:
did he? he never told me

Meerman (playing 360) says:
well it was in a msn 'orgy' with the guys

LTBL! says:
lol was i not there then?

Meerman (playing 360) says:
people asked him what he thought about you

LTBL! says:
oh tell me more

Meerman (playing 360) says:
guys only

LTBL! says:
when was this?

Meerman (playing 360) says:
december ish

LTBL! says:
was that after we met for xmas? or before?
Meerman (playing 360) says:
before.

LTBL! says:
ok

Meerman (playing 360) says:
think it was a convo with the other dutchies in it

LTBL! says:
ok tell me more lol

Meerman (playing 360) says:
basically asking him if he fancied you

Meerman (playing 360) says:
lol

LTBL! says:
what was his repky?

Meerman (playing 360) says:
i think he loved you

LTBL! says:
eh?

Meerman (playing 360) says:
he said he liked you very much and you were about to arrange something

LTBL! says:
that doesnt mean he loved me

Meerman (playing 360) says:
which was the xmas meet apparently

Meerman (playing 360) says:
not sure if he used the word love, mind
Meerman (playing 360) says:
but he was excited

LTBL! says:
we did have a great time

TBL! says:
i mean fair enough i dont expect him to be head over heels in love with me...
LTBL! says:
but i thought he at least was into me enough, to see if we could make this work

Meerman (playing 360) says:
he is into you, come onthe signs are there


...
up_syndrome On January 18, 2007




Utopia Wasteland, Australia
#13New Post! Jan 24, 2006 @ 12:18:06
RYAN AIR= 20 squid!!!!!!!!
sandrarichards On April 27, 2006

Deleted



#14New Post! Jan 24, 2006 @ 12:20:09
oh I will check out ryan air..I have done massive searches the best I can come up with is KLM departing heathrow at 16.55, returning at 20.10 for ?97.70. I can get it cheaper but I would have to fly later and come back earlier..

I dont even know if Im going now or not...it all deopends on the reply to my PM..

*f***ing hell fingers crossed on this one*
sandrarichards On April 27, 2006

Deleted



#15New Post! Jan 24, 2006 @ 12:22:11
ah bollocks I cant find any london - amsterdam flights on there
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