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Is age any Factor at all?

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Felix1 On January 06, 2019




,
#1New Post! Jan 05, 2019 @ 00:20:37
I was wondering what people think about my situation. I have been in a loveless marriage for a long time. A good Mother and a great Grandmother but a terrible wife in all regards. She has strayed (How many times?) and I have been faithful for over 30 years.

But now a women less than half my age has made my heart shake and sparks have literally shot between us and I have never been so enthralled in another since I was a teen. It sure seems mutual. Nothing has come close to happening as it is in a professional setting where I see her. I feel she wants it as much as I for something to happen. The only way to be sure is to ask.....

Should I follow my feelings? I have always followed my heart but am torn even though my wife broke the last emotional string that connected us. There is that legal thing......

What would you do?
chaski On 21 minutes ago
Stalker





Tree at Floydgirrl's Window,
#2New Post! Jan 05, 2019 @ 01:23:03
A. Don't cheat on your wife. Dump her, get rid of her, divorce her. Cheating on her just diminishes you... it is stooping down in to the gutter. End it... resolve it... then move on.

B. Then... forget the age thing. Love is love. Infatuation is infatuation. The heart gets enthralled, broken, healed, enthralled again.


Simple answer to a complex question.
Felix1 On January 06, 2019




,
#3New Post! Jan 05, 2019 @ 13:22:25
If I had to answer this question myself, almost verbatim this is what I would have answered with before I even was struck with this new enticing interest that is driving me crazy. I was headed down that path anyway most likely.

Thanks.
@chaski Said

A. Don't cheat on your wife. Dump her, get rid of her, divorce her. Cheating on her just diminishes you... it is stooping down in to the gutter. End it... resolve it... then move on.

B. Then... forget the age thing. Love is love. Infatuation is infatuation. The heart gets enthralled, broken, healed, enthralled again.


Simple answer to a complex question.
gakINGKONG On about 12 hours ago




Lutz, Florida
#4New Post! Jan 05, 2019 @ 22:37:49
Suffer well and end well and do what's right.

Do what you have promised to do.
chaski On 21 minutes ago
Stalker





Tree at Floydgirrl's Window,
#5New Post! Jan 05, 2019 @ 23:53:17
@Felix1 Said


What would you do?



@gakINGKONG Said

Suffer well and end well and do what's right.

Do what you have promised to do.


Translation: Don't get divorced... suffer even though your wife has cheated on you many times. Don't seek happiness in your life. Just suffer for no good reason.

Erimitus On about 2 hours ago




The mind of God, Antarctica
#6New Post! Jan 06, 2019 @ 00:04:30
@chaski Said

Translation: Don't get divorced... suffer even though your wife has cheated on you many times. Don't seek happiness in your life. Just suffer for no good reason.





Jennifer1984 On January 06, 2019
Remoaner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#7New Post! Jan 06, 2019 @ 00:24:15
I agree with Chaski. Don't become what you behold. Be better than that.

If she's cheating on you, then she can't expect your loyalty and devotion as of right. You're legally and morally justified in making a break with her.

But do it the right way. Tell her that you intend to divorce her, and why. But once you've made the decision you must be firm and resolute in taking it all the way.

She may try to persuade you to give your marriage one more try. She may promise to be faithful in the future. Whether or not you accept that is up to you. Nobody can make that decision for you.

Nobody ever said relationships were easy. Goodness knows, my wife and I have had our ups and downs. Show me a couple who say they've never had a cross word and I'll show you a couple of liars.

You're not unique in your difficulty with your wife. There is nothing new under the sun. Some relationships recover, some don't. No one answer fits all. It's down to the people involved to resolve the issue or make the break.

I wish you the very best of luck.

As for this younger woman. Well, there is no reason why an age difference should prevent you from having a relationship. Many such relationships work brilliantly, although on balance, it has to be said that just as many don't.

You could have a really great time together..... for a time..... but what happens if she meets a man (or woman) of her own age and decides she wants to be with them..? What then for you..?


So.... whatever you do with this girl / young woman, do it with your eyes open. you may have found "the one" and your life together may be wonderful and long lasting. That's worth taking a risk for, isn't it...?

On the other hand, you may just have a wild time for a few months and then she moves on. Another heartbreaking departure for you, but look on the plus side.... It sure will have been wild for a while, eh...? Better to live one day as a lion and all that.

I wish you luck. Nobody on here can give you definitive advice. We can only chip in with our two bobs worth and then wish you the very best of luck.

Bottom line: It's your call. Only you can make it.
Felix1 On January 06, 2019




,
#8New Post! Jan 06, 2019 @ 22:49:19
@Jennifer1984 Said

I agree with Chaski. Don't become what you behold. Be better than that.

If she's cheating on you, then she can't expect your loyalty and devotion as of right. You're legally and morally justified in making a break with her.

But do it the right way. Tell her that you intend to divorce her, and why. But once you've made the decision you must be firm and resolute in taking it all the way.

She may try to persuade you to give your marriage one more try. She may promise to be faithful in the future. Whether or not you accept that is up to you. Nobody can make that decision for you.

Nobody ever said relationships were easy. Goodness knows, my wife and I have had our ups and downs. Show me a couple who say they've never had a cross word and I'll show you a couple of liars.

You're not unique in your difficulty with your wife. There is nothing new under the sun. Some relationships recover, some don't. No one answer fits all. It's down to the people involved to resolve the issue or make the break.

I wish you the very best of luck.

As for this younger woman. Well, there is no reason why an age difference should prevent you from having a relationship. Many such relationships work brilliantly, although on balance, it has to be said that just as many don't.

You could have a really great time together..... for a time..... but what happens if she meets a man (or woman) of her own age and decides she wants to be with them..? What then for you..?


So.... whatever you do with this girl / young woman, do it with your eyes open. you may have found "the one" and your life together may be wonderful and long lasting. That's worth taking a risk for, isn't it...?

On the other hand, you may just have a wild time for a few months and then she moves on. Another heartbreaking departure for you, but look on the plus side.... It sure will have been wild for a while, eh...? Better to live one day as a lion and all that.

I wish you luck. Nobody on here can give you definitive advice. We can only chip in with our two bobs worth and then wish you the very best of luck.

Bottom line: It's your call. Only you can make it.


A very well thought out post. Thank you.

Taking my time, but to feel that spark again is very nice. I am alive again at least as I have just been maintaining and not living. I don't know what will happen in the end yet, but, yeah it seems I know.
Electric_Banana On about 14 hours ago




, New Zealand
#9New Post! Jan 07, 2019 @ 20:36:35
I tend to suspect there is such a thing as 'spiritual age'

If you really stop to consider things 60+ years isn't long enough to manage school, learn how to manage emotions, control desires, take on further education and master a profession or trade.

Each instance would take a lifetime in itself to get a grip on

Here in you'll find extremely secure and emotionally sound romantic prospects at a very young age. This, I am pretty sure, is why when us Gen-Xers were younger we didn't come by many available prospects because they were intellectually advanced enough to know better to stay home and not engage with us.

But regardless
Similar to not trusting anything that bleeds for three days and doesn't die, I don't entirely trust any 'spirits' who condone this existence enough to return to it.

It's a broken world, maybe intentionally so and really not a place to harbour a serious romance, definitely not a place to trust with offspring.

All you really need is someone else in the same boat who wants someone to grow old with that they can trust will be there through thick and thin and in such cases the perfect person to share company with isn't always going to be the prettiest; however a down-to-earth, honest and genuine soul is worth more than a team of swim suit models.

So look down, consider round and don't mind too much if it's slightly brown.
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