That I need help again.
Sorry for the long post...
The medication I'm on has really helped things on the outside... I seem happy and chirpy at times.. I'm getting back in to my study...and I'm learning not to rush important decisions...When I'm around people I'm completely fine.
Ever since the massive fight with my eldest brother the other night I feel like its pushed me over the edge again
Everything was going so well. I had accepted the fact that I was dealing with an issue I couldn't control, and had finally felt as though I could handle it. I was happy for the first time in a long time over something that was real, I was living my life and not a lie.
Now it's as though I miss the ones that made me happy the most... even though I thought I dealt with why they were gone
I thought I sorted out the fact that it was wrong.... but now I just miss them. And the want for them is more intense then ever.
I don't even know why I'm posting this on tfs. Maybe I just thought that getting it all out and written down and admitting it would help me keep my sanity.
These times alone are the darkest I have ever felt...
I'm turning to the internet and food more and more to distract myself...but it's just not working.
I don't know what I'm sposed to do
I'm so happy when I'm around others... but the depression is hitting me worse then it ever has
Even at the worst of times in the past year I have managed to get out of bed.... I swear now, every morning, it just gets harder and harder...
I need answers to questions that I don't even understand.