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I'm destroying a perfectly good relationship :(

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jemsy On May 14, 2010




Somerset, United Kingdom
#1New Post! Nov 09, 2007 @ 10:52:09
Theres this guy, who i like alot, he makes me smile
Just... well.. I haven't exactly had the best past in relationships (guys cheating on me etc etc)

& in my head i keep thinking about these awful things, i mean i trust him, but i can't stop thinking "what if?"

As in what if he secretly doesn't wanna be with me etc

Am i crazy?




*sigh*
queenofhearts On December 16, 2009




, United Kingdom
#2New Post! Nov 09, 2007 @ 10:54:46
No your not crazy when we have being hurt in the past so much its kind of like a defense mechanism we build in to ourselves, as if to say well i have being hurt before whats stopping someone else doing it to me.

Just build the relationship up slowly and don't get involved to fast
knotme On March 20, 2016




London, United Kingdom
#3New Post! Nov 09, 2007 @ 10:58:05
No you're not crazy, just normal. You need to learn to trust again, that's all.
trillian On May 06, 2010




derbyshire, United Kingdom
#4New Post! Nov 09, 2007 @ 12:54:20
you are still very young and have lots of life to live and to give. so chill out, sit back and enjoy the experience.
loveis On January 15, 2010
brat-inella


Deleted



In the mirror,
#5New Post! Nov 09, 2007 @ 15:40:53
Can't say much more than these people already have..all good advice
Just relax, and give him an "individual" chance..don't have the relationship over, before it's even began.
diomedes On March 22, 2013




Long Beach, California
#6New Post! Nov 09, 2007 @ 23:09:42
Just relax there are a million 'what if' questions that you can ask yourself but so long as he's well meaning that is all that really matters
jemsy On May 14, 2010




Somerset, United Kingdom
#7New Post! Nov 09, 2007 @ 23:26:37
Thanks guys, your advice is precious to me, honestly, i'm young an di still have mistakes to make, i sure hope me and him aren't gunna be one of those mistakes...
Lili On July 12, 2019
....................





Sunshine Land,
#8New Post! Nov 09, 2007 @ 23:29:44
Talk with your boyfriend about your feelings, it'll make you closer. Otherwise, you may be acting kind of weird, and he won't know why. But if you have a conversation with him about it, he'll understand you better so you'll be closer, and that'll prevent your completely normal fears from interfering in this relationship.

However, don't discount your feeling entirely. It is possible that you are picking things up from him that are triggering your fears, and that may be legitimate.
jemsy On May 14, 2010




Somerset, United Kingdom
#9New Post! Nov 12, 2007 @ 12:35:25
Yeahhh... That's wha ti'm kinda scared about 'cus i've been right about these things in the past.


....


Thanks alot for the advice though
babiismurf09 On September 11, 2008




w.c.h., Ohio
#10New Post! Nov 12, 2007 @ 14:16:03
@queenofhearts Said
No your not crazy when we have being hurt in the past so much its kind of like a defense mechanism we build in to ourselves, as if to say well i have being hurt before whats stopping someone else doing it to me.

Just build the relationship up slowly and don't get involved to fast


agreed!!!
dumdedum On July 07, 2009




-, United Kingdom
#11New Post! Nov 16, 2007 @ 21:28:19
we all get it/ Just don;t let him know
shar54 On April 21, 2009




Galena, Illinois
#12New Post! Dec 14, 2007 @ 17:14:11
I agree with "lili" !! Have a talk with him and let him know you have a tendancy to do this! I have been hurt by a lot of guys and have fought a low self esteem problem for most of my life because of it! Once I get to know someone, I tell them I have a tendancy to be suspicious and can sabotage a relationship! Most men who really care, will understand and be glad you told them. Some will even warn you if they see you unconciously sabotaging the relationship! It is an important part of the relationship to be honest! If you have a relationship worth keeping, this needs to be addressed!! My current guy and I both admit to having a jealous nature. We both accept this and when one is jealous, the other just reinforces the love. So far this has worked for us.
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