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Husband and wife - a windy subject

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scottishlady On July 20, 2009

Middle of nowhere, United King
#1New Post! Jan 23, 2009 @ 12:57:12
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you.

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day
he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to blast them out!

Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound
asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, 'Honey, you were right!' 'All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.'

'What do you mean?' asked his wife...

'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.'
DevilsPurity On February 12, 2010

other side of the comp screen,
#2New Post! Jan 24, 2009 @ 16:19:39

claudibee On November 13, 2009
I will NOT!!


, United Kingdom
#3New Post! Jan 24, 2009 @ 16:23:16
GASP!! Painful, but painfully funny.
boxerdc On December 18, 2012


#4New Post! Jan 24, 2009 @ 16:27:45
I don't whether to laugh, or turn away..
No giblets for you claudiebee!
ReAdSaLoT On September 23, 2019

#5New Post! Jan 24, 2009 @ 16:29:03
Not a pretty picture; get that out of my head please.
puala__koala On August 21, 2009

Swarthmore, Pennsylvania
#6New Post! Jan 24, 2009 @ 16:31:46
haha. lol. this is hilarious.
Stigma On February 13, 2010
zombie vomit


, New Hampshire
#7New Post! Jan 24, 2009 @ 16:32:40

I think I'm gonna be sick.
sassi On February 20, 2009


Coolangatta, Australia
#8New Post! Jan 24, 2009 @ 16:32:52
ultra funny!
matchstickman On March 04, 2020

, United Kingdom
#9New Post! Jan 25, 2009 @ 15:41:05
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