How long should one wait?

A couple weeks ago I had a friend that I used to work with, call me and tell me he was getting married.

A little over a year ago his wife passed. Now he has found another woman that he wants to marry. I personally am very happy for him and will be going to the wedding.

On the other hand his step son, from the woman that has passed is not happy about the whole thing. I can't understand this at all.

Why do people get so upset about a person moving on? It just seems insensitive to me, like saying I?m sorry your spouse died but you need to be alone for the rest of your life.

What do you think a person should wait before remarrying or even dating? and why?

I don't personally think there is any magical time period. I think it should all be in the individual.

well my friend moved away a few months ago...
and tbh, I wasnt very happy that shes got moved on and got new mates.

its just letting yourself move on aswell

He loved his mom very much. He probably feels it's a betrayal to his mom for his dad to move on so quickly. Not saying it's right or wrong, just probably what is.

I agree with what Vizzy said. I am sure in the end he will be very happy that his father is happy its probably just too hard to see him with another woman.

For the sake of the son, they should wait. They can be together or whatever, but they shouldn't be so selfish as to not see that he is still greiving and doesn't even want a mom replacement. All he needs is to get used to her being around and ofcourse have is time to mourn the loss of his mom and when the time is right, they can get married.

Its not his Dad its his step Dad. He doesn't even visit the guy. I'm friends with both the step dad and step son. Its not like the step son even goes to see his step dad. He is grown has his own wife and family, and its not like the guy even raised him. I doubt he would ever even run into him on the street. I don't see this guy putting off his life because his grown a** step son doesn't want him to remarry. It just sounds selfish to me.

Ok, I didn't mean to sound so hateful. Fact of the matter I am closer to the step son then the step dad. I just can't get over how selfish the step son is being.

Well, if they don't really have anything to do with one another and the step son is grown, doesn't really matter what he thinks.

Ok, if it's not his real dad and he has nothing to do with them then yea they can do whatever they want. But it's still perfectly natural for the son to feel that way.

I agree, he's probably just upset because he's still grieving for his mum and doesn't understand how his step-dad can just move on after what seems like such a short time. But I'm guessing his step-dad still loves his ex but wants to move on and make the best out of his life and be happy instead of grieving for all of it. I'm not saying it's wrong or right tho.

A year isn't a long time, but it is all down to the individuals emotions.

You have to look at both sides on this one. On the one side there's a man who's lost his wife and although he loved his wife he's found someone who's made him happy. It doesn't mean he's trying to replace his wife.

On the other hand, there's a child who's lost his mother and it doesn't matter if his dad is marrying an angel, he can't stand the though of anyone taking the place of his mother, he's not trying to be selfish he's just hurt and upset and confused.

It might take some time but he'll come around, he'll always have the memories of his mother with him, and will someday be able to make room for a new person in his life.

i think natuarally, no matter how long after he waited, the son would feel uncomfortable with it.
doesn't mean he disagrees, just maybe he feels like it's a slap in the face to his mother.
as time goes on though, i'm sure he'll realize that the new woman could never replace his mom. he will see that she is there as a shoulder to lean on and someone to help his father through the rest of his life.
nobody wants to be alone.
it's always nice to have the comfort of others.
& you can love a new woman while still loving the deceased woman just the same.

People move on in different time frames, i dont think there is really an appropriate time frame when its ok to start dating someone new or even marry someone after a spouse has passed.

I think it is hard though, for those around the loved one who has passed see the other person move on.
Life is hard in that respect but it does go on.

In some cultures there is a definite 1 year of mourning where the spouse and family will wear black every day. After the 1 year the changing of clothes is symbolic to letting go and saying goodbye.

I actually think moving on and re-marrying is healthy and if anything it will encourage the son to snap out of it and get on with his own life perhaps.